[The Beast1]

(10-28-2013 02:29 PM)rhino Wrote:  

"From an early age, boys are encouraged to "act like a man," "man up," "tough it out," or "suck it up." These expectations give boys a very narrow view of masculinity. I grew up in a single parent household, and people always told me that I was the man of the house and should behave accordingly. However, I had no idea what that meant. I had a steep learning curve and picked many of the wrong lessons by watching older men and boys in my neighborhood. It wasn't until I was in my 20s that I encountered more positive images of manhood and masculinity. Now, I work with young boys to help them cope with their own masculinity. Many of them are confused and have distorted views on what it means to be a man. But there is hope, and it starts with parents. It's crucial for parents to offer their sons a more holistic view of masculinity. Here are 7 things parents must teach their boys about masculinity."

1. It's okay to cry and show a full range of emotions

We've all heard the phrase, "Boys don't cry." When I was growing up, I heard it more times than I can recall. If I even thought about shedding a tear, I would be teased or reprimanded. Parents have to teach their sons that it is okay to cry and express a full range of emotions - fear, joy, sadness, disappointment, love, anger, etc. Our emotions are what allow us to connect with our humanity and with one another.
Emotions are great, but when they control you, then we have a problem. You shouldn't allow yourself to become controlled by your emotions. Learn what anxiety is, sadness, and happiness is. Chase the fleetings moments of feeling true inner confidence. Keep your mental facalties in check by going to the gym daily. Understand that no one likes a man that lets himself be controlled by his emotions.
2. Girls aren't the worst thing

We've also heard parents tell their sons to stop acting like a girl, as if being a girl is the worst thing in the world. Through our language and attitudes, we can inadvertently send subtle messages to our sons that girls are inferior. These degrading comparisons lead to distorted views on masculinity and male/female equality. It is important to teach boys that true masculinity requires a healthy respect for girls and women.

Unless you're gay, then girls are a double edged sword of awesome and misery. Learn that being a leader of women and men hedges yourself against the BS that women will throw at you.

3. There is no need to constantly prove your masculinity

In our society, boys often feel that their masculinity is constantly under scrutiny. From macho posturing to trying to be the alpha male of their group, many boys feel the need to prove their masculinity on a regular basis. In addition, boys feel challenged and want to defend their manhood when people use insensitive comments, such as the aforementioned ones about acting like a girl. We must teach sons to be self-confident (not arrogant) and let them know that it's okay to let their guard down and be comfortable in their own skin. We must also let them know that the tough, hyper-masculine image is not the only example of masculinity.

If someone is testing your "manhood" then they're checking to make sure you're inner strength is congruent with your outer body language. Masculinity is never something you can secure. It is a fleeting feeling that is gained when you understand that masculinity is something you get when you continually better yourself. If you don't better yourself, you lose your masculinity.

4. It's okay to suck at sports

As a child, I was a terrible baseball player. I struck out nearly every time I stepped to the plate. The other boys insulted me and yelled at me because of my lackluster skills. It took me several years to erase the shame I felt for underperforming in the baseball field. Boys feel tremendous pressure to excel at sports, and boys who don't like sports are viewed suspiciously. We have to teach our sons that their masculinity isn't tied to their ability to swing a bat or catch a ball.

It isn't okay to be a fat load and never set foot in a gym. If you suck at sports, then you probably don't have any noticeable muscle or athletic ability. Hit the gym and discover how you can attain a small taste of what masculinity tastes like when you achieve a goal.

5. Your sexual conquests don't define you

Too many boys are taught to define their manhood by their sexual conquests. Teaching our sons to respect their bodies and form lasting relationships is much more important.

Sorry brah, but we're responding to the market. I want to be apart of the 20% that is getting 80% of the ladies. I don't want to be the tampon that never gets a date. Why don't you direct your attention to the opposite sex and have them change their ways.

6. You can talk about your feelings

Many men bottle up their emotions and refuse to talk about them because they believe that expressing emotions and being vulnerable are signs of weakness. As a consequence, boys learn to do the same. We have to create a safe environment where boys feel comfortable talking about their feelings. More importantly, we have to listen when they share.

Again, no one likes a man that is controlled by his emotions. We call people like that women. Learn what the emotions mean and how to handle them. Don't be afraid of what your limbic system is speaking to you.

7. Violence is not the answer when conflicts arise

Many boys feel as if violence is the only way to resolve conflicts. I've seen boys result to violence because they felt disrespected or threatened in some way. Violence was a constant part of my life when I was a child. I fought other boys and had to defend myself against attacks. This constant aggression was unhealthy and affected my relationships. We have to teach our sons healthier conflict resolution techniques. Violence usually leads to more violence. Masculinity isn't defined by our ability to hurt and dominate others."

Real men hate men who defer to the point where they have no real back bone. That is why you got picked on and that is why you seem to fit in with the SWPL crowd. Get a back bone and start defining yourself by the goals you have accomplished. You'll notice that once you start reaching some goals, you will feel an inner confidence that will make others naturally defer to you. Violence only occurs against pathetic wimpy men who aren't able to make decisions on their own.

http://shine.yahoo.com/photos/7-things-p...00767.html

By Frederick J. Goodall



This is what contemporary careerism looks like:

1. Take a good pulse of the culture you live in.

2. Tell the majority what they want to hear.

3. Reap the benefits.

This dude fills a much-needed niche.

Good ole hustla.

Agreed, this only perpetuates BS to people who don't understand how to feel like a man. He got beat up as a kid because he had no spine. You need to not be wishy washy and define who you are and where you want to go. When you don't do this, you get picked on. When you're a wimp with no athletic ability, you get your ass kicked.

Welcome to the cruel world.