[Dusty]

(09-06-2013 09:56 PM)Hoopster Wrote:  

(08-24-2013 06:05 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

I brainstormed a list of the main (irrational) beliefs that cause Approach Anxiety. Let me know if there are others:

1.I believe rejection is a really big a deal.
2.I fear that I might shock or surprise her.
3.I fear I am disturbing her or bothering her.
4.I fear not having anything to say and then looking stupid.
5.I fear a rejection might reveal some unbearable truth about me unbeknownst until now.
6.I fear that other people might witness me doing an approach and judge me.
7.I prefer assuming a girl is attracted to me over actually seeing if she is or not and making a real connection.
8.Approaching women is somehow inappropriate.
9.I fear she might make a scene. She might yell and scream or say bad things about me.
10.If she rejects me bad, I fear I will be in a shitty mood for days or weeks.
11.She might not be alone. Her boyfriend might come around the corner and catch me trying to pick up his girlfriend.
12.She probably already has a boyfriend.
13.Other avoidant behaviors with thoughts like: I’m not sure I am interested enough in her, she looks too bitchy, etc.

After you do a few approaches, you mostly put the lie to these beliefs, and mostly get over AA.

Great post. To me,1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11 and 12 creep into my head.

Thanks Hoopster. Are these all the thoughts that cause you approach anxiety, or are there additional ones that aren't on the list?

Can you give a specific example of a time you experienced approach anxiety, and what specific thoughts went through your head that caused your fear/anxiety?