Sorry to be philosophical here...
But.
I consider myself a spiritual person. But I don't believe in God.
I have a romantic idealistic side. But I no longer believe in romantic love.
Now - I fell in love with movies and music in my teens. And back then - in my 'blue pill' days. I was open-minded about God - and I certainly believed in romantic love.
As such - when being touched by an amazing movie - or an incredible piece of music. I could attach those feelings to the possibility of something in my future. Which would - in some mystical way - be a self-actualisation of such feelings that I was having then.
But - now. When I experience amazing music and cinema. I feel a bit like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard Of Oz. Behind the wizard's curtain - is nothing...
Which is cool. But - it does make my relationship with Art a bit weird. Since I now sense - on some deeper level - that the experience is all there is.
And that the Art is not hinting at something deeper in the world...
I can live with this. It is no big deal. But - it is one of the side effects of questioning commonly held belief systems.
By thinking deeply about your beliefs. It can ironically make your experiences of life feel shallower...
I only mention this. Not because I am bummed out (I have never being happier). But because it is something I have never seen addressed before.
I post this because listening to some favourite songs - which I haven't heard in ten years - makes me realise how differently I now relate to music.
It no longer holds the same promise of something that it once did.
Maybe it is just me getting old...
But.
I consider myself a spiritual person. But I don't believe in God.
I have a romantic idealistic side. But I no longer believe in romantic love.
Now - I fell in love with movies and music in my teens. And back then - in my 'blue pill' days. I was open-minded about God - and I certainly believed in romantic love.
As such - when being touched by an amazing movie - or an incredible piece of music. I could attach those feelings to the possibility of something in my future. Which would - in some mystical way - be a self-actualisation of such feelings that I was having then.
But - now. When I experience amazing music and cinema. I feel a bit like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard Of Oz. Behind the wizard's curtain - is nothing...
Which is cool. But - it does make my relationship with Art a bit weird. Since I now sense - on some deeper level - that the experience is all there is.
And that the Art is not hinting at something deeper in the world...
I can live with this. It is no big deal. But - it is one of the side effects of questioning commonly held belief systems.
By thinking deeply about your beliefs. It can ironically make your experiences of life feel shallower...
I only mention this. Not because I am bummed out (I have never being happier). But because it is something I have never seen addressed before.
I post this because listening to some favourite songs - which I haven't heard in ten years - makes me realise how differently I now relate to music.
It no longer holds the same promise of something that it once did.
Maybe it is just me getting old...