I've been a long time reader of the blog and forum, so I feel like I should contribute something to the discussion because I've been getting way above average results with dating sites, okcupid in particular.
Now, I'm not gonna waste your time with that "have good pictures and interesting activities" shit, we all know that, but here is the real tried and true shit that I've never heard anyone talk about which has made a massive difference in my success rate.
Height:
I am fortunate enough to be 6'2, and I noticed that there are always a lot of taller girls on the site (5'10 and above) that get messaged far less than the shorter ones. So hit them up, especially if you're a taller guy (a lot of these girls are on the site to find a dude taller than them), the response rate is way better.
Ethnicity:
I'm Russian, so I find that messaging Russian or other Eastern European girls is particularly more "high percentage", especially if you don't embody the stereotype of your nationality. On okCupid you can search by language, so you can also find a lot of cute, non-princessy girls using that method alone. Messaging girls that speak another language fluently increases my success rate. Similarly - I get a lot more looks and messages from girls that speak the same languages as me. So, if you speak another language - even barely - add it to your profile.
Message Templates:
While sending cool unique messages is definitely the best way to go, there are very few profiles that inspire me to write anything witty, some girls are dull, and some are just copies of girls you talked to before. However, if you're on these sites enough, you notice that a lot of girls have shit in common. Here are the 3 that I encounter the most:
--- they love to travel
--- they love every kind of music but country
--- they are not originally from New York (where i live).
I see this in profiles so often that I just reuse old messages I've had on the topic. They are good, carefully thought out messages and they look like i put a decent amount of time to put this message together, and that I'm totally not a copy/paster (lol).
Here is an example message, this is what I use if the girl is all about travel:
"It's really cool that you're a travel nut, I especially like the ((insert whatever she exploded about in her profile here)), but what's been your most amazing, most extreme, most unique travel memory?
Mine will hopefully happen later this year, right now I'm planning a trip to el alberto, a small town in mexico that was ravaged by immigration so they decided to do something about it - they opened a theme park. And what's the theme? Illegal border crossing simulations. That's right, for about 10 dollars, you get to train... I mean 'simulate' what it's like to cross the US/Mexico border, complete with rides on shady pickup trucks, crawling in the dark and people with flash lights chasing you. How nuts is that?
Anyway, you seem pretty cool, talk to you soon!
"
I'll keep my "new to NYC" and "i hate country music" messages to myself for now, but you get the idea. With these well thought out templates you can message more girls with quality messages far easier.
Pinging
Just tested this yesterday, and this gets a lot of traffic to your page. Whenever you upload a new picture, change anything in your profile, or answer a match question publicly and with explanation, you pop up on people's "Recent activity" feed. so be sure to do this a few times a day (it takes 20 seconds), and your profile will get a lot more views.
Diluting the pool
I have not tested this, but it seems like a completely viable strategy in smaller towns and cities (I read about this on Reddit). Make a bunch of HIGHLY attractive female profiles (model or near model looks, a bikini or at least stomach revealing picture that shows the world that they're not fat, lots on nerdy interests like star trek and star wars, etc - the super hot ultimate girl next door nerd), consistently log into them and clear their inboxes (they will fill, FAST). Now, all the other guys in that area will star messaging these 10-20 perfect girls, leaving all the rest for you. The girls who used to be bombed with male attention will quickly see it sharply decrease, and will be WAAAAY more likely to respond to your messages.
That's all i can think of for now
Now, I'm not gonna waste your time with that "have good pictures and interesting activities" shit, we all know that, but here is the real tried and true shit that I've never heard anyone talk about which has made a massive difference in my success rate.
Height:
I am fortunate enough to be 6'2, and I noticed that there are always a lot of taller girls on the site (5'10 and above) that get messaged far less than the shorter ones. So hit them up, especially if you're a taller guy (a lot of these girls are on the site to find a dude taller than them), the response rate is way better.
Ethnicity:
I'm Russian, so I find that messaging Russian or other Eastern European girls is particularly more "high percentage", especially if you don't embody the stereotype of your nationality. On okCupid you can search by language, so you can also find a lot of cute, non-princessy girls using that method alone. Messaging girls that speak another language fluently increases my success rate. Similarly - I get a lot more looks and messages from girls that speak the same languages as me. So, if you speak another language - even barely - add it to your profile.
Message Templates:
While sending cool unique messages is definitely the best way to go, there are very few profiles that inspire me to write anything witty, some girls are dull, and some are just copies of girls you talked to before. However, if you're on these sites enough, you notice that a lot of girls have shit in common. Here are the 3 that I encounter the most:
--- they love to travel
--- they love every kind of music but country
--- they are not originally from New York (where i live).
I see this in profiles so often that I just reuse old messages I've had on the topic. They are good, carefully thought out messages and they look like i put a decent amount of time to put this message together, and that I'm totally not a copy/paster (lol).
Here is an example message, this is what I use if the girl is all about travel:
"It's really cool that you're a travel nut, I especially like the ((insert whatever she exploded about in her profile here)), but what's been your most amazing, most extreme, most unique travel memory?
Mine will hopefully happen later this year, right now I'm planning a trip to el alberto, a small town in mexico that was ravaged by immigration so they decided to do something about it - they opened a theme park. And what's the theme? Illegal border crossing simulations. That's right, for about 10 dollars, you get to train... I mean 'simulate' what it's like to cross the US/Mexico border, complete with rides on shady pickup trucks, crawling in the dark and people with flash lights chasing you. How nuts is that?
Anyway, you seem pretty cool, talk to you soon!
"
I'll keep my "new to NYC" and "i hate country music" messages to myself for now, but you get the idea. With these well thought out templates you can message more girls with quality messages far easier.
Pinging
Just tested this yesterday, and this gets a lot of traffic to your page. Whenever you upload a new picture, change anything in your profile, or answer a match question publicly and with explanation, you pop up on people's "Recent activity" feed. so be sure to do this a few times a day (it takes 20 seconds), and your profile will get a lot more views.
Diluting the pool
I have not tested this, but it seems like a completely viable strategy in smaller towns and cities (I read about this on Reddit). Make a bunch of HIGHLY attractive female profiles (model or near model looks, a bikini or at least stomach revealing picture that shows the world that they're not fat, lots on nerdy interests like star trek and star wars, etc - the super hot ultimate girl next door nerd), consistently log into them and clear their inboxes (they will fill, FAST). Now, all the other guys in that area will star messaging these 10-20 perfect girls, leaving all the rest for you. The girls who used to be bombed with male attention will quickly see it sharply decrease, and will be WAAAAY more likely to respond to your messages.
That's all i can think of for now