Quote: (01-27-2011 05:27 PM)speakeasy Wrote:I know what you mean.
Quote: (04-13-2010 06:22 AM)gringoed Wrote:
3. You don't have to be "on" all the time.
If some gel isn't in your hair one day, don't fret. If you're feeling depressed another day, just watch a movie with her instead of going out. You will still get laid. Maybe you can put some of that extra time/energy into that film project in the back of your closet...
This is the one that hits home most for me. That's the one thing I really don't like about being a bachelor is having to think so damn much all the time about my appearance, how I interact with women, if my voice is projecting right, if my body posture is projecting confidence, if I'm keeping the conversation going in the right direction, and just all that real-time self monitoring that goes with meeting a new girl. It can be stressful if you're not a natural and have had to learn game. Sometimes I do miss being in a relationship and just not having to think about any of this shit and then I'm freed up to think about other things in life that I need to focus on.
What's interesting too is the positive correlation between a girl's ability to be forgiving of your flaws and the time you spend with her. For example if you meet a girl for the first night and show up at the bar with a booger hanging out of your nose, that alone might make her next you. But if you've been seeing her for a year, she'll just tell you to blow your nose and then act like nothing happened. So at the beginning stage of an interaction, everything has to be damn near perfect in your presentation and that's where the stress of always having to be "on" comes from. It's nice to just being able to chill back and know you're still going to get sex regardless. A luxury you don't have if you're going from girl to girl as a way of life.
At the moment, I am having a mini-crisis.
I vacillate between:
1. Becoming a sophisticated, mature, but still active bachelor.
2. Falling in love.
3. Falling in love and having a kid.
4. Avoiding women altogether (except for occasional shags with my current crop of FBs) and focusing on work and my future.