I am sure that almost all guys know they shouldn't be an entertainer aka clown. I never thought of myself as that either. I don't use funny voice, body language and facial expression. I thought I was 'witty guy'
I am not sure about his claim on laughter can kill the tension thus lower the attraction.
It struck my head because he described what I was doing exactly.
I go to the bar by myself. Obviously, I can't stand there by myself. So I find a target asap. Usually 2~3 girls. I approach them and try to put smile on their face since it's awkward if she is talking with poker face.
If I see a smile on her face, that was a green light (possible attraction too)
The thing is that,
I was approaching them to VALIDATE myself.
'I think I am a decent guy. But I need to put it to the test. If I can interact with those girls, I am good enough. If not, I have to work on it'
It's addictive because....
Who doesn't like to see solid 8.5 girl giggling in front of you? who doesn't want to tease them like a little sister and squeeze their chicks?
I also loved the attention from other people. 'wow this guy approached 3 hot blondes by himself, he is flirting with them and making them laugh' this is also part of Validation
I think there is nothing wrong if you make other people laugh.
But if your motive comes from impressing others to make yourself feel better, then you have to change it.
I am not sure about his claim on laughter can kill the tension thus lower the attraction.
It struck my head because he described what I was doing exactly.
I go to the bar by myself. Obviously, I can't stand there by myself. So I find a target asap. Usually 2~3 girls. I approach them and try to put smile on their face since it's awkward if she is talking with poker face.
If I see a smile on her face, that was a green light (possible attraction too)
The thing is that,
I was approaching them to VALIDATE myself.
'I think I am a decent guy. But I need to put it to the test. If I can interact with those girls, I am good enough. If not, I have to work on it'
It's addictive because....
Who doesn't like to see solid 8.5 girl giggling in front of you? who doesn't want to tease them like a little sister and squeeze their chicks?
I also loved the attention from other people. 'wow this guy approached 3 hot blondes by himself, he is flirting with them and making them laugh' this is also part of Validation
I think there is nothing wrong if you make other people laugh.
But if your motive comes from impressing others to make yourself feel better, then you have to change it.
Quote: (05-20-2012 08:05 PM)kerouac Wrote:
Quote: (05-20-2012 06:46 PM)Sebastian Wrote:
Anyways, I went to girlschase.com website and read this. it struck my head so hard.
I think I've been doing everything wrong.
http://www.girlschase.com/content/making...ns-nothing
Funny you should post this link (pun not intended). I have fallen into that trap myself, where I feel like I turn into comedian mode. I can even place the time when this started happening (I was in the beginning stages of an improv group). Good to catch it and work on it now.