Quote: (04-26-2012 12:21 PM)RichieP Wrote:
Quote: (04-26-2012 12:03 PM)Klasmatic Wrote:
Thanks for the advice, Richie. I'm thinking of how I can convey a willingness to walk away while also conveying that I don't give a shit about him asking for her number.
The key is to decide what you will and wont accept in the relationship, and then be unapologetic and firm about it.
IMO girls will just give out their numbers for validation and not necessarily actually making plans. Girls will give it out, even with no intention to meet the guy. So to me, I let them have that one. I dont mind them telling me about him asking, because they're just excited and it's a little way for them to test me now and again, which I dont mind because Im happy to keep showing them I'm the guy for her.
At the same time, if she did give it out, its NOT acceptable for her to be trying to provoke me by telling me she gave it to him - it's not something she should be bringing into the discussion, it's just disrespectful.
The equivalent would be, it's OK for me to harmlessly flirt with other girls, but I wouldnt be deliberately doing it in front of her or telling her about it. It's just disrespectful and deliberately provoking.
So if she told me he asked for her number, I would say "Oh, well lucky you" and then just move on. Move onto talking about our plans, etc.
BUT if she then told me she gave him it, I would chastise her. Like, I know she may well have and dont really mind (girls cant resist the validation, even if they have no intention to meet), but at the same time, I do not want to hear about it and she shouldnt be bringing that energy into our relationship. So I would draw a boundary and tell her off, harshly. "Why are you telling me this? Should I be taking numbers from girls and telling you about it? Exactly, no. Dont bring this bullshit to the table again"
BTW this is all *my* values, the stuff I will and wont accept. You have to decide on yours, and then be firm and unapologetic about it.
You make perfect sense and I should point out that it wasn't totally unprovoked that she mentioned the number.
She told me about him coming in, because I'm a huge sports fan and she knew I liked him as a player. Then last night, he was playing and playing well and I mentioned I was watching baseball and I said "damn, he's kicking ass...Are you sure you only "helped him shop?""
Her response was "well he did ask for my number..."
So I kinda initiated the conversation to lead to that but I still feel like this is a shit test of some sort.