Quote: (04-09-2019 12:50 PM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:
I think there is a lot of value in sending direct, individualized communication to people you'd like to connect with on a personal level, regardless of whether you have met them before.
If you look at the Meetups forum, half the threads are a graveyard of failed,lazy, last-minute plans that look like this:
"I'll be in ____ between ____ and _____, let me know if you want to meet up."
I admit I've been guilty of this many times myself. It should be pretty obvious why this approach sucks ass.
1. Who the fuck are you? Why would even the most curious and least busy members of the forum feel compelled to invest any time "meeting up?" What do you bring to the table?
2. Do you have any plans for what you actually want to do? Why do you want to do them?
3. You waited until 48 hours (or often less) before posting your meetup, which makes you seem non-committal and lazy. Why are you waiting for someone else to contact you and then iron out all the details of the meet?
Even if you managed to succeed in meeting up with new people, there is a high-probability they are low-value and or flaky. Instead, a much better strategy is to hand pick the people you want to meet.
If you are visiting a new city or even looking to connect with other people in your own area, do some research of people you'd like to meet. Hit them with a PM.
-Explain about how you found out about them and why you'd like to meet them.
-Share a little bit about yourself (age? basic hobbies? etc.).
-Offer a specific date and time
I've used this (and people have used it on me) on RVF, reddit, and in real life. I respond 95%+ of the time, unless the person PMing is trying to sell me something or is incredibly lazy:
No-name, 2-post, no profile, random RVF dude:
"yo i'm in manhattan for three days let me know if your down to daygame this weekend."
Hell no I'm not.
But if this person took 2 minutes to add a little more detail, I'd certainly respond, and would try to provide recommendations on achieving his meetup goals if I was not able or interested in meeting up myself.
I think the strategies in this article are great for deepening connections you make with people you meet in real life. Even if you are boring as fuck and bring little social value to the table, most men one would perceive as worth knowing are good souls and would look to help a brother out.
It's tough out there, but it is important to be proactive and be willing to get rejected.
Good points in there, but also keep in mind many posters try to keep their location rather anonymous. I've managed to link up with other meetups and also arrange one or two myself, but recently when I was in a major American city (NOLA), I thought I gave a very solid open invitation, low key, stress free invite to chill get a beer coffee etc... and followed it up again a month or two later, with no avail. That said, it's entirely possible no one was around in NOLA. Or maybe I smell funny and word has gotten around RVF.