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How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
#22

How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?

I've dealt with worse and I've dealt with better. I'll talk about them respectively.

Example 1:

I used to be friends with this guy I met in the army through my roommate. We were in different units but stationed at the same shitty post. Met him September 2016. He was funny, likeable, at first. But he had a terribe habit of getting too drunk to the point I had to take care of him or someone else did. Still, I still hung out with him a few times my roommate until April 2017, the moment he had tried to cockblock me. I had heard stories from my roommate about our mutual buddy cockblocking him, but I guess I thought maybe it was just small potatoes since they had remained friends. We'll call this friend George.

We went to a small pool-hall type biker bar called The Spot. We were a group of four, my roommate, our (former) mutual friend George, and a new guy in my unit. After 20 minutes of chatting and playing pool, George spots a cute redhead who was skinny and had a nice ass. They start to chat and play a game of pool. After only one game, he whips out her phone and tries to get her number. We can all see her mouth the words, "I don't give my number out to people I just met". He walks back to the group and mutters something like, "she's impossible anyway" or "she's not here to meet dudes". To me, he swung and missed. It was clear he got shot down.

So when I noticed her giving me eyes, I didn't hesitate to walk up there and play a game with her. One game turned into three as our conversation consisted mostly of us giving each other increasingly flirty glances and me staring at her ass through he reflection on the mirror. At this point, George is watching and unhappy and walks up to me saying, "Dude we gotta go!". I'm not in a rush and in fact I am the DD, but I didn't say anything because he wanted to go to "Zydeco". And it just so happened that the cute redhead whispered into my ear that she had to leave with her friends to Zydeco, but maybe come see me if you want. So we all left to this shitty dancehall type bar. Sure enough she was there, but she was dancing with friends so I focused on playing pool with my buddies. But then she drunkenly finds me, separates me from the group and we chat for what feels like only 5 minutes but probably was closer to half an hour. Out of seemingly nowhere, George comes to me saying, "Geomann180, we gotta go. I'm gonna give you 5 minutes." I tell him to fuck off for a minute and the redhead without skipping a beat asks me for my phone, has me unlock it, and then types her name and number in my phone. "Do you have any other Courtney's in your phone?". I did, so she included a last name. Then I hugged her and left. I saw her a few times afterwards but it didn't last for reasons unrelated to the circumstances of how we met.

The way I saw it, George and I were acquaintances more than friends, so I didn't feel like I was obligated to play by gentlemen's rules. It's just my style. I felt like I gave him wide enough berth to crash and burn before I even talked to the girl. I think half the reason he knew what was going on his state was because my roomate kept stirring the pot, "Hey George, he's stealing your girl." I stopped hanging out with George after this night because the juice just wasn't worth the squeeze and this night was just one thing among many that led me to make that decision. Mostly I don't like drinking with belligerent drunks, especially if I feel like their antics might have influence on the terms of my employment the next day, let alone theirs.

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Example 2:

My bestfriend and I went out in March this year. Went to a popular bar in the nearby area that even has Karaoke but struck out and picked the wrong night. Nevertheless we decided to see if we couldn't still get into trouble. We talked to a few girls who didn't give us much attention, briefly entertained slightly older ladies, one of whom was married, until we found two girls and one guy. Both girls were attractive. He chose the blond and I chose the Brunette. The Brunette was dating the guy and I entertained both of them while my buddy talked to his girl, who I think doesn't even know my name. Or that's the only thing she knows about me. Can't remember. We left the bar, me with nothing and him with the blond's number. But we both had a good time.

Why? Several reasons. Aside from the bias of him being my best friend, we worked out several important things early on in the friendship.

1. For the most part we both have a different taste in girls. So we rarely ever go for the same girl.
2. We both let each other know who we want before we engage.
3. Whoever talks first (say it's spur of the moment), gets first pick
4. Ultimately, we try to be "beta" to each other. Sometimes that means jumping on a grenade. Sometimes that means one guy will duck out if he sees the other guy getting somewhere. Sometimes one of us will ditch a girl he's making progress with to hang out with his buddy. Because his friendship is more important than any broad I'd ever chat up.
5. If we got an issue, we tell the other guy behind closed doors and work it out there.
6. If someone gets a girls number and makes progress, that girl is pretty much invisible to the other guy
7. If in a relationship, we'll try to wing one another unless otherwise stated (it goes without saying, we don't report what happens to any lady friends)

Because of these rough guidelines (hey, we are human after all), we've remained good friends and avoided a lot of common pitfalls. I'm sure I may have accidentally ruined a set for him, and him me, but we both know the intentions behind things and have procedures in place to avoid them in the first place. We'll have been good friends for 8 years this August.
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TL: DR I recounted these two different events to give context to the advice I'm giving you.

That is, try to develop some guidelines before you go out. No one's a mind reader, so if your buddy has a problem, it's on him to tell you. If he wanted to try for this waitress, he should have told you at some point. Though if you got there first, it's rude of him to butt in even if he thought he had a better chance than you did. Luckily, your friend is a guy. So the easiest way to fix an issue like this is to just be straight with him. Find sometime that's not inconvenient and tell him your problem. Offer a solution or two, "Hey I don't mind you jumping in, just tell me before hand so we both know it's may the best man win rules and not you stepping on my toes".

If you can't talk to this guy about these sort of things, then I suggest you just hang out with him outside the bar scene. Obviously I don't know the extent of your friendship or the various idiosyncracies that comprise it, so do what makes the most sense to you.

Hope this helps.

G
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