I recently broke up for the umpteenth time with a Thai chick that I've dated on an off for years. Yes, the same chick from the no contact thread.
Anyway, the cycle was always that I'd break up with her because her level of immaturity made it impossible for me to envision a bigger, better future together. She's absolutely adorable but she's also a child. So the thing that makes me so attracted to her is although the thing that repels me in terms of a long term vision.
We'd stay broken for a while, I'd start missing the hell out of her, I'd reinitiate contact, and we'd wind up back together. Truth be told we really love each other and when it's good it's the best.
But as any 30+ man knows, love and passion cannot sustain a relationship and certainly cannot sustain a family.
Example: she got stung by a bee and went to one of the moron Thai doctors and the hospital and he gave her a tetanus vaccine. I googled "bee sting tetanus vaccine" and the first result said "if you get stung by a bee you do not need a tetanus vaccine". I'd told her a million times not to trust doctor or pharmacists, to google shit, but she didn't listen.
Well that's her business but when kids are involved you're going to a lot of doctors and they want to do all sorts of unnecessary shit too. So I took this as a black mark against her judgment. And it's one of many instances in a similar vein.
This took nothing away from my love and desire for her but it did take away from my trust in her ability to be a partner that contributes and moves together toward a future with us and our kids (we don't have any but we've considered it). My fear was that she was going to be just another grown kid and I'd be doing double duty for her and our children.
My question is—and if you don't have some experience with this please refrain from sharing your opinions—would wifing her up and giving her babies cause her to actually rise to the occasion? Or would it just corner me into a really bad and ever worsening situation? Or, is there just no way to tell?
Anyway, the cycle was always that I'd break up with her because her level of immaturity made it impossible for me to envision a bigger, better future together. She's absolutely adorable but she's also a child. So the thing that makes me so attracted to her is although the thing that repels me in terms of a long term vision.
We'd stay broken for a while, I'd start missing the hell out of her, I'd reinitiate contact, and we'd wind up back together. Truth be told we really love each other and when it's good it's the best.
But as any 30+ man knows, love and passion cannot sustain a relationship and certainly cannot sustain a family.
Example: she got stung by a bee and went to one of the moron Thai doctors and the hospital and he gave her a tetanus vaccine. I googled "bee sting tetanus vaccine" and the first result said "if you get stung by a bee you do not need a tetanus vaccine". I'd told her a million times not to trust doctor or pharmacists, to google shit, but she didn't listen.
Well that's her business but when kids are involved you're going to a lot of doctors and they want to do all sorts of unnecessary shit too. So I took this as a black mark against her judgment. And it's one of many instances in a similar vein.
This took nothing away from my love and desire for her but it did take away from my trust in her ability to be a partner that contributes and moves together toward a future with us and our kids (we don't have any but we've considered it). My fear was that she was going to be just another grown kid and I'd be doing double duty for her and our children.
My question is—and if you don't have some experience with this please refrain from sharing your opinions—would wifing her up and giving her babies cause her to actually rise to the occasion? Or would it just corner me into a really bad and ever worsening situation? Or, is there just no way to tell?