Quote: (03-14-2019 05:43 PM)chvrches Wrote:
Quote: (03-14-2019 01:46 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:
Quote:Quote:I read your post on the other thread and also thought how similar our situations were.
Sorry if i missed that part, but how many dates were you on with this girl? Something very similar happened to me recently. Also, about the ED problems with this certain girl, how many times did it happen? More than once?
It was 4 dates, she stayed over on 3rd and I stayed over on the 4th so there were a couple of times where I lasted enough for it to not be too much of an issue.
Looking back on it, I did send a few silly texts and possibly didnt get her to invest enough. Small things but she was def better rating than me on looks so when my game started cracking, she lost interest.
Frustrating that by giving in to what she asked by a small amount (acting bit more as a bf) meant that she lost attraction but lesson learned.
I literally feel like this is a mirror to my situation... i didn't mention in my other post that first time before sex i also had ED because of performance anxiety. We brushed over it, but i lost a lot of frame because of it. My game started cracking when at first it was this ED shit happening to me, then not lasting more than 2 min. She's been hinting towards how important sex is for her and that she enjoys it, and i end up giving her bad sex once it counted the most...
Your last sentences hit close to home. I went back and read some of the messages before the attraction slowly died off, i was acting like a bf, she lost attraction when i let my game guard down and message her one message after a few days of not seeing her saying "miss your cute smile, what are you up to lately?" like a little beta male. That's when i started to send more texts and she started investing less. Prior to that, it was very 50/50 i'd say maybe even 60/40 investment on her part.
Got to keep in mind that if she had sex with you, she was already attracted to you. One of my problems was that I assumed I had to constantly do new things to keep the attraction going, whereas in effect you just have to do the same as before and slowly mix it up so it doesn't get boring. The worry of constantly having to run "perfect game" can be detrimental.
Also girls can sense the reason behind each message. That text doesn't seem that bad but if she can sense it's a case of you checking up on her to see if she's still attracted then she's going to feel in control. If you had send that same text when you've ignored her text for a couple of days, the effect is completely different.
Texting can be beneficial but there are too many potential pitfalls so I'm trying to keep it logistics only with some occasionaly flirt/tease text.