Quote: (03-01-2019 04:27 AM)the.king Wrote:
Thank you very much for your responses.
Quote: (02-28-2019 05:18 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:
My mates wife racked up huge bills gambling (she doesn't work and was "bored" all day with nothing to do)
This is what my father says too (he is also unemployed with nothing to do all day) and to be fair there is an element of truth to this. I studied addiction a lot (I used to smoke, then quit, currently on no-fap since 10 Jan etc). Whenever I have free time I'm more likely to think about fapping.
Quote: (03-01-2019 02:40 AM)[email protected] Wrote:
Direct him to less risky more profitable ventures is the way to go.
Get him into stocks, commercial property ownership, buying and holding Bitcoin.
Explain to him that everyone is gambling but they are doing it smarter, more effectively. That's to say that everyone is using the bank to borrow enormous sums of money to make more money but they only pay small interest and make a lot more money than what he makes playing cards (or whatever).
I think this is the best actionable advice, and I will pursue this. Your post was very helpful to my situation. He needs to fill up his time with something positive/productive. I will try to get him to invest €5-10k in the stock market or something like that, to try and make up for his gambling losses that way.
Also I decided I'm going to put a GPS tracker on his car, to make sure I can see if he still goes to the bookmaker's.
Quote: (02-28-2019 05:38 PM)Captain Gh Wrote:
Unfortunately... you'll both have to cut him loose!
If you do cut him off... hopefully it'll be the spark to maybe help him change!
Thank you for your advice, but I disagree. My father is almost 63, I don' think people change in this age. I have a younger brother who advised my mom she should get a divorce. I think my brother is a certified gamma.
I'm a big advocate of ruthlessly cutting toxic people out of your life, but I think my father counts as a valid exception. Not being a white knight or anything, I just think in some situations you need to stick for your own even if it seems illogical. Its too retarded for me to see him suffer over some compulsive evolutionary behaviour, which he can fix with a simple paradigm shift.
Still not sure why people gamble to be honest. I mean you know the odds are stacked against you, and in the long term you are MATHEMATICALLY CERTAIN to lose. What kind of fucked up madness is this? I play loads of poker myself (but I make profits, not losses!) and love calculating probabilities. How someone can seriously lose big money in a game like roulette or blackjack is beyond me. I mean you can literally see the payout the casino gives is less than the actual probability of the outcome! Its just insane.
Hey I respect your opinion at the end of the day so it's cool! Even if he's your father... by somehow supporting his behavior... you'll most likely end up feeling more Anger or Anxiety, which means that his behavior will lower YOUR Well Being and/or confidence!
It's a Win for him, albeit for a short period, and an immediate loss for you! It's a Loose-Loose tradeoff! The only circumstances in which I'd be willing to accept this terrible situation was if the person in question was fully committed to accepting professional help... which you mentioned he refused!