I know exactly how you feel. I am a similar age to you (22)
Before I left the west on my own and lived abroad for 6 months, I can honestly say I was happier. While I was never blue pilled or liberal in any way, I was still a true believer in the western religion of achievement, I was a happy slave to my sex drive, and I held a distorted, conditioned view of the realities of this world. In short, I was developing into a good pawn of the western world.
Just about the only thing I was woke on was women, thanks to Roosh's logic.
I left to live in SEA for 6 months, before devoting myself to a career in the USA. Thank god I did. I went there to live cheaply in warm weather, see nice beaches, and bang easy girls, but later realized by far the biggest value of that experience was none of that. It was being awoken to the meaningless lives we live out in the west. It was seeing the value of culture and tradition. It was seeing the reality of race. It was seeing the beauty of true feminity. it was seeing how life should be.
The last two years living in the USA have been the hardest, most depressing years of my whole life. I will never be able to be a blissfully ignorant pawn that I once was. I can't get excited about working a good career here, and getting ahead like I use to. I'm not attracted to the toxic, damaged, androgynous women, as I was before. I'm not able to accept our complete lack of culture and tradition as normal.
Once you take the red pill, you can never accept the fake pleasures in life that you once sought out.
Before I left the west on my own and lived abroad for 6 months, I can honestly say I was happier. While I was never blue pilled or liberal in any way, I was still a true believer in the western religion of achievement, I was a happy slave to my sex drive, and I held a distorted, conditioned view of the realities of this world. In short, I was developing into a good pawn of the western world.
Just about the only thing I was woke on was women, thanks to Roosh's logic.
I left to live in SEA for 6 months, before devoting myself to a career in the USA. Thank god I did. I went there to live cheaply in warm weather, see nice beaches, and bang easy girls, but later realized by far the biggest value of that experience was none of that. It was being awoken to the meaningless lives we live out in the west. It was seeing the value of culture and tradition. It was seeing the reality of race. It was seeing the beauty of true feminity. it was seeing how life should be.
The last two years living in the USA have been the hardest, most depressing years of my whole life. I will never be able to be a blissfully ignorant pawn that I once was. I can't get excited about working a good career here, and getting ahead like I use to. I'm not attracted to the toxic, damaged, androgynous women, as I was before. I'm not able to accept our complete lack of culture and tradition as normal.
Once you take the red pill, you can never accept the fake pleasures in life that you once sought out.