The vicious circle of girls wet at IDGAF attitude, and then saying "it's too late"
09-11-2018, 06:53 PM
I think most women have guys in two categories - player you sleep with and bf material. I don't think you can go from playboy to commitment guy. The player plays by different rules. He is above monogamy and women love him for it. They think its cool that he can weave in and out of flings. That's his appeal. He gives women pleasure. Once you try to commit, all attraction fizzles because you are no longer this guy. The women discover you were just putting on a player persona all along.
What you might want to do is frame yourself as a relationship guy and screen women from the very beginning. This will either shape them into trying to fit your image of an ideal GF, or weed out all thots looking for validation from the player, or both.
The problem with a frame switch is that you expose yourself as a guy who was just putting on a persona to attract women. Believe it or not, there are guys with high standards who screen and qualify women for relationships from the very beginning.
Sure, there is value in spinning a lot of plates. There is abundance in that and you come across as more attractive to women. But as long as you are self validated, you don't need any crutches (like putting on a player persona). You can qualify women for what you demand and reject them for not being good enough.
The relationship frame is different from the player frame. The player frame is "what can I do to attract women?" The guy with the relationship frame already knows he is attractive and he is looking a woman who is worth his time so his frame is more like "What is unique about her that I like?" And you act from this frame. You validate/reject her based on her relationship potential.
Coming from this frame, your love and affection looks more like a reward for her. And all rewards have value. And all women love value.
What you might want to do is frame yourself as a relationship guy and screen women from the very beginning. This will either shape them into trying to fit your image of an ideal GF, or weed out all thots looking for validation from the player, or both.
The problem with a frame switch is that you expose yourself as a guy who was just putting on a persona to attract women. Believe it or not, there are guys with high standards who screen and qualify women for relationships from the very beginning.
Sure, there is value in spinning a lot of plates. There is abundance in that and you come across as more attractive to women. But as long as you are self validated, you don't need any crutches (like putting on a player persona). You can qualify women for what you demand and reject them for not being good enough.
The relationship frame is different from the player frame. The player frame is "what can I do to attract women?" The guy with the relationship frame already knows he is attractive and he is looking a woman who is worth his time so his frame is more like "What is unique about her that I like?" And you act from this frame. You validate/reject her based on her relationship potential.
Coming from this frame, your love and affection looks more like a reward for her. And all rewards have value. And all women love value.