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No-Homo Skin Care Tips
#60

No-Homo Skin Care Tips

There's absolutely nothing gay about taking care of your skin. You get one fucking face, protect and take care of it. Michael Jordan (who none of us would accuse of being a beta male or a gay male), gets pedicure/manicures as well as facials. How do I know? I used to swoop a girl who did it for him in Chicago.

-Art of Shaving are the BEST shaving products. They have a store in Miami where they'll shave your face with a straight blade too. Every man needs to experience a straight razor shave at least once in his life.

-I smoke a pack a day, have drank countless gallons of vodka in my lifetime, have gone out on the town and not slept for 2-3 days at a time and STILL get opened occasionally re: my good skin. It's evolution: girls want the best genes to mate with, so by taking care of your mug you're making it easier to open and swoop fly chicks.
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