Quote: (07-20-2018 01:41 PM)Bastard Sword Wrote:
Quote: (07-20-2018 10:22 AM)birthday cat Wrote:
The OP's last post may have set the record for the post with the most straw man arguments in the history of RVF so I should explain that I'm not here to try to change his mind. The purpose of my writing in this section is usually to help me internalize concepts and to give less experienced guys the opportunity to learn from my experience. Those less experienced guys include many other forum members and lurkers so I'm not really here for the OP. I don't expect him to change his opinions but he is providing us with a good opportunity to learn from the experience that some of us have had.
I think it's also relevant to consider that some us have had the experience of living the player lifestyle in our 30s while OP has not had this experience. He is theorizing about what he thinks this experience will be like. I don't need to theorize about these things because I've already experienced them and I don't need to base my opinions solely on my own experience because I have several friends who have had similar experiences.
Let's be clear about a few things that I never said or implied. I never said that therapy or reading was the solution to this problem or that those things would replace taking action (although these things could be part of the solution for some guys). I never said that marriage was the solution or that marriage was better than player life or that player life was empty. I never said that you get rid of insecurities by thinking them away or some bogus therapy, instead of action (although having self awareness and thinking through your situation is probably a part of the process). I never attacked or shamed the player lifestyle whatsoever.
As I've already said there are many cases when a guy should try to get a lot more experience with women and the player lifestyle is a good fit for some guys. However, many guys on this forum including Roosh have talked about how you can overdo things, how you can go too far, and how this might create problems. There are many potential problems from inhibiting your ability to eventually pair-bond with a women, wasting massive amounts of time on the pursuit of women while ignoring more important aspects of your life, sex addiction, having a lifestyle that makes it difficult for people to be friends with you, having a lifestyle that involves more alcohol or drugs than you can handle, etc.
In the case of the OP he has insecurities about how he wasn't too successful with women in high school and college which is something I've experienced and many other guys here have experienced. He has expressed his frustration at how he couldn't anything more than plain or ugly girls because he wasn't an athlete or rich frat boy. His writing is full of over-analysis, rationalizations and straw man arguments. In my opinion it is very easy for someone with more experience to see that his desire to be a player is more about proving something to other people and proving something to himself than anything else. That by itself isn't necessarily a bad thing but it's very common for guys in this situation to overdo things and create problems for themselves.
There are many reasons to get a lot more experience with women and that is what most lurkers and newbies on this forum need. However, my suggestion is to do it for the right reasons and don't take it too far. Your life shouldn't revolve around getting laid. You don't want to be one of the guys making posts about I banged X girls in Y days - the guys who used to make those posts are usually the most critical of people who continue to make those posts because they understand how immature it is. You don't want to create problems for other people in your lives because you can't see beyond your desire to bang more girls. You don't want to get caught in a trap of negativity because most of the girls you attract are damaged emotionally and have all sorts of psychological problems that they will take out on you. You don't want to be a guy in your 20s who is over analyzing his plans to be a player in his 30s before he has even begun to become self aware of his insecurities. These are just a few examples.
Banging lots of girls has it's pros and cons just like anything else. I'm not saying to avoid it. That is a decision that each individual has to make for himself. However, almost everyone who has actually been down that path knows that you need to proceed with caution.
This is the post of the day.
If you want to go out and spit game and lead a hedonistic lifestyle, go for it. No one's saying it's a bad thing. Just those of us who have already gone down it know that it's easy to get burnt out on and can be bad for your lifestyle/mental health. I lived that life in college (went to party schools and gamed hard there) and it honestly kind of fucked me up, took me a year to recover my physical and mental health. I'm living a significantly more "boring" lifestyle (LTR, 9-5 job, couple of hobbies), and overall my life is dramatically better than when I was out there partying my ass off and spending hours on Tinder/daygame.
Beer, go do it if you want, and don't get held back by age or any other constraint. Just be aware that, while being fun, it comes with significant drawbacks and can very easily cut into other areas of your life.
I gotta agree here. Maybe it's my age at this point (mid-30's), but I'd much rather deal with a few quality experiences to tide over the time than a shitload of mediocre quantity.