Quote: (06-16-2018 10:48 AM)jcardial Wrote:
LMR:
How far you should try to take it really depends on so many factors. If she's a virgin and you haven't spent that many hours with her then you'd be shooting yourself in the foot to go for it too early if she's clearly not that comfortable. On the other hand, you would be leaving tons of money on the table to always give up right away if there's a good chance she's interested but just wants to create plausible deniability that she's an easy slut. If you think she's still on the fence about you and you haven't spent much time together sometimes it's best to keep things above the belt on the first date.
Point of no return:
If you finger bang a girl that wasn't quite ready for that level of escalation and you don't get it in, you run the risk of extinguishing the sexual tension and also creating a cloud of guilt and apprehension around seeing you again. It puts additional pressure and expectations on a future date. Often the play there is to pull back with the next date to something more innocent like coffee or an outdoor activity because if you just ask her to Netflix and chill then agreeing to a date will feel like signing a contract to get stuffed like a turkey.
Illogical?
Not really. Attraction is a lot more sensitive and nebulous for women since it depends on more emotional factors than just physical appearance. It's not illogical that a girl isn't sure she likes you enough to agree to the kind of date that has sexual expectations. Unfortunately you may have breached that "point of no return" where it can be very hard to get another date based on the precedent you set, especially for apartment dates. I would only invest more time with a "reset" date if you really like the girl and you're pretty confident you can turn it around.
LMR:
Doubt she's a virgin but she definitely had her guard up, probably as others have said going direct to her place.
Point of no return:
Took yours and other's advice here and went adventure golf with her. However, she told me she had planned going for dinner with a female friend of hers in the evening.
We went for a drink after and chat was funny etc but the seating arrangement was shit for much kino. If I know that nothing can happen, i.e. she's got something on later, I find it particularly hard to be seductive. I could feel it then that even though we were talking about interesting stuff and even putting few innuendos, I wasn't being the guy that would make her frustrated she had her dinner after.
She was happy to organise going for drinks again but I feel like I was already her boyfriend kinda theme. I want to learn how to come across as irresistible.
I'm currenty focusing on going gym, eating low carb diet (want abs), trying to start an online business while doing my degree and taking as many opportunities to meet girls as possible, expanding social circles etc but I still feel like my value as a fwb, 1ns, or LTR partner is low.
I've definitely had the vibe from some girls that they like me but I just can't capitalise on it by being alpha and seductive.
For example, I read Linux's quote on sexualising thread "Honestly, I think I like making love more that 99.9% of most people on this earth." and I thought it was brilliant, until I realised I would probably laugh more then the girl I was saying it to (because having only had sex few times, I couldn't keep up this kind of persona up for long).