I need motivation to date women again, but am afraid I'll get obsessed. Tips?
06-08-2018, 01:10 PM
I moved around constantly and was a social reject through much of my high school years, didn't get laid until I was about 20 - so I got a very late start with girls. When I started college, it was like a bomb went off in my head. There were ten times the girls, and I wouldn't be seeing half of them again if they rejected me! It was the perfect training ground. All I thought about was girls, and as a result my grades were terrible until I settled on a major. Even after I found a direction, I struggled with a drinking problem and inability to focus on work or grades because I was too busy surfing OKCupid and trying to find creative ways to meet girls other than in class or at parties.
It turned out that girls liked me enough, but my need to be approved of was so obvious, few of them took me too seriously. I DID have enough sex, but it was all one-night drunken hookups that didn't last long. It was almost like the sex never happened because it was so temporary, and my circle of acquaintances (I was in a fraternity for a few semesters) laughed at my bumbling desperation with women behind my back. Of course due to my girl obsession, I was a terrible employee (skipped multiple days of work) and ended up being a few thousand dollars in credit card debt - which I am still paying off.
Soon after this, my life got a direction - after living abroad for 9 months (and thriving!) I've found that I want to become fluent in a language or two and teach overseas for a bit. To do this, I am going to first pay off my debts and probably finish my final year of college. I have also become minorly politically active lately, and we'll see where that takes me (involved in a campaign for a House member).
I've been on a dating hiatus ever since arriving back in the US in mid-2016. Paying off the debts is taking forever, frankly - it may take until mid-2019, and that's being kind. I am looking for better work. I really want to start talking to girls again...but when I walk past an insanely pretty girl and get that animal desire, I am afraid that I'll make women the center of my universe again and quickly lose my direction in life.
I try asking male friends of mine for advice on this, but it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't - my friends who are good with women naturally can't relate to this problem, and I don't want advice from friends who are clueless with girls.
It turned out that girls liked me enough, but my need to be approved of was so obvious, few of them took me too seriously. I DID have enough sex, but it was all one-night drunken hookups that didn't last long. It was almost like the sex never happened because it was so temporary, and my circle of acquaintances (I was in a fraternity for a few semesters) laughed at my bumbling desperation with women behind my back. Of course due to my girl obsession, I was a terrible employee (skipped multiple days of work) and ended up being a few thousand dollars in credit card debt - which I am still paying off.
Soon after this, my life got a direction - after living abroad for 9 months (and thriving!) I've found that I want to become fluent in a language or two and teach overseas for a bit. To do this, I am going to first pay off my debts and probably finish my final year of college. I have also become minorly politically active lately, and we'll see where that takes me (involved in a campaign for a House member).
I've been on a dating hiatus ever since arriving back in the US in mid-2016. Paying off the debts is taking forever, frankly - it may take until mid-2019, and that's being kind. I am looking for better work. I really want to start talking to girls again...but when I walk past an insanely pretty girl and get that animal desire, I am afraid that I'll make women the center of my universe again and quickly lose my direction in life.
I try asking male friends of mine for advice on this, but it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't - my friends who are good with women naturally can't relate to this problem, and I don't want advice from friends who are clueless with girls.