Quote: (03-04-2018 01:44 AM)Hazaer Wrote:
Quote: (03-03-2018 04:57 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:
Her interest in you isn't "romantic", don't mistake friend zone vibes for attraction.
How do you differentiate the vibes between being in a friendzone and 'romantic' interest?
Apart from risking it by asking her out, is there any compliance tests or material that can be used to separate real potential from general friendliness/attention seeking behavior?
I've written about this..
You don't, really.
If you enjoy spending time with her, spend time with her. Just don't expect or demand it to end in a bang. Maybe she's fun to hang out with or a good wing. If that's the case, by all means, keep hanging out. Sometimes a friendship leads to a bang, sometimes it doesn't. The key here is it can't be forced, and making statements like "We're not friends" isn't going to help. It's entirely up to you how much time and emotional investment you put into her. You also don't want her running around telling everyone in your social circle that you demanded a bang, and only pretended to be friends with her because you were trying to bang.
If you're only spending time with her just to try and get a bang, your strategy is counterproductive. The more time you spend with her, the more ordinary and available you become. From a distance, she assumes you're out making money, slaying hoes, building your business, etc. When you're spending all your time with her, well, she knows what you're up to all the time. Sexually, she wants a man who is better than her and to lead her. When you're spending all your time doing what she's doing, she is leading you.
If the bang is what you're looking for, dial back your time / emotional investment, and spend more time doing other stuff. (the gym, riding your bike, whatever you're into). Sporadically blow her out of her socks with your interesting and fun lifestyle. Take her on hikes, bike riding, to the gym, etc. Eventually she'll want you in her life and will fear the possibility of losing the most interesting person she knows. (Sporadic is the key word here -- occasionally take her out, but when you do, make sure it's something memorable).
The "Friend Zone" doesn't really exist, except to the extent you create it. I bang many of the women I am friends with. To an extent, we talk philosophy, business, and do activities together. Most of my FWBs will flat out say I'm the most interesting / masculine man in their life, and they wish I had more time for a serious relationship.
What the "Friend Zone" is, is a guy who chose to invest too much time and emotional energy into a woman, and in doing so, made himself appear an ordinary desperate loser. Women are usually incapable of good friendships with other women, so they value men who will orbit around them, listen to their problems, and be supportive. However, doing this does not result in a sexual relationship. Boiled down, if she's dictating all the activities, leading all the conversations, and you're just the "supporting cast", she views you as a girlfriend and not a lover.
To the extent she has a boyfriend, it doesn't matter. A significant amount of my FWBs have boyfriends. All women cheat on the drop of a dime if they meet a man who is either better looking, has more game, or is more interesting. It's called "monkey branching."
Women like having a beta male in their life who will remember to pay the rent / mortgage, drive them to the airport, clean the cat litter, and watch stupid movies with them on Netflix. However, they don't daydream about blowing the guy who runs a vacuum like a champion and always remembers to buy her non-fat vanilla Yoplait at the grocery store. The vast majority of women are always looking for an upgrade or a hot fling on the side.