Quote: (10-23-2017 08:16 AM)Remington Wrote:
I am also a bigger person. Women will be a lot more responsive if you have a good sense of humor. It will help lower their guards if you really believe you are intimidating them.
Due to your size, both men and women will look at you and think that you're built like a tank, and nothing can hurt you. I throw in some self-deprecating humor to make myself appear more vulnerable. And when they see you're able to laugh at yourself, they won't be afraid that they will say something that would set you off and put them through a wall.
You also have to loosen up with your body language. Don't look or act intense at parties. Make yourself approachable and wear a smile on your face. Talk to everyone, doesn't matter if you say two words to the person, make people comfortable at the party and also with you.
When people see that you're a chill guy who likes to crack jokes and socialize with everyone, that will immediately make you more approachable and attractive. Due to your size, you would be able to control the room, so take advantage of it.
Awesome advice man, I think you're right on all this stuff. Just a couple questions I wanted to get a little more into.
1) You're definitely right on the humor thing. Definitely not a guy who always takes himself super-seriously, I'm good about shitting on myself in my humor, though I feel like I sometimes have a hard-time hitting the sweet-spot between the right amount of self-deprecation and getting a little too real and turning girls off with over-doing it. That's kind of true for my humor generally. I can definitely get people to laugh, but my sense of humor sometimes doesn't translate great to more general social situations, because my delivery tends to be really straight and my content can be a little too edgy/transgressive for most people. Like if I'm sitting in a circle of the boys, where I know my audience and we have a shared background, I can crack guys the fuck up without having to worry about saying something a little too obscene or like completely miscommunicating something. Similar situation on dates with girls, if the conversation is flowing good and I can tell we have similar sensibilities, I can definitely be on it with the funny. Take it a little bit more general than that though and I tend to lose people, either by them not realizing I'm joking or by making a shithead type (pretty unacceptable, like something about xanax blackouts or ghosting chicks) drugs/sex/whatever type comment that freaks out half the crowd, and makes me seem even more unapproachable. In the past I've fucked up by having too weird of shit come out of my mouth around the wrong people, so I guess it's made me a little gunshy.
2) Great point about the body language, and I know you're right about this one, because not only do I often realize I have shitty "don't fuck with me" or blank poker face type body language - my friends have openly come up to me at parties and told me I need to fucking brighten up my facial expression and look more approachable. This is something that's clearly and immediately fixable, I just gotta get myself into the right habits so I can stop posing like a badass and become a less intimidating, more gregarious cat. Honestly I'm not even sure why I front like that - certainly stemming on some level from my own insecurities and anxieties, maybe I put on the aloof "cool hardo" posture because it makes me feel less vulnerable, less open, safer - closing myself off from the possibility of rejection, like I've struggled with in other areas. Any tips on how to consistently adopt positive body language in social situations like this?
3) Last thing - in the past, I have been mr. life of the party, albeit in a super rowdy and boisterous way. In high school I would get hammered drunk to fully shut down any nagging insecurities and just be social party guy, and that continued into the first couple semesters of college. Basically the classic "class clown" type persona, and as you might guess, this approach produced pretty dreadfully mediocre results with girls. I get that it's all about striking a happy medium, but for some reason I struggle with that. I can be the life of the party or the sullen-looking big guy in the corner of the room, but finding that right middle spot for optimal game is damn tough.
Quote: (10-23-2017 03:27 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:
Your mate is right, its a whole different game for you.
You each have advantages you need to target and hone your game along with.
Being tall, big and manly has a whole host of game advantages over a short skinny dude.
Good to hear you agree. Any thoughts on specific ways to modify one's game to individual size and physical build?
Quote: (10-23-2017 04:16 PM)little wing Wrote:
also wanted to add: Losing some fat really ain't that hard. In 3-4 months you could shed 30lbs easily and then you have a more athletic build.
Look into intermittent fasting
I mean bro you're definitely not wrong on the fundamentals here. You're right that a loss of 30 lbs. in the next four months would be possible, and it would definitely give me an edge with the pussy. Come to think of it, the only 9 I've ever fucked was a couple years ago when I was briefly weighing around 200 lbs... To nit-pick, I don't necessarily think it would be a more athletic build (I was probably in the best shape of my life back in high school when I played football at 250 lbs), just a sexier one.
All that said, (probably just because I'm lazy garbage) I'm not sure that hard of a cut would be worth it to me. It seems like, if I'm working out but not really being overly methodical/deliberate about my diet, I float around 230. If I count my calories religiously, I can cut it down to and stay at 220, which is what I'm currently working on cutting down to. As weak as this might sound, the willpower to get and stay there is all I feel sure about demanding from myself these days. Although I'm hesitant to say this because so many delusional fat pieces of garbage scream this line all the time, cutting weight is definitely harder for me than the average person. Like being skinnier is obviously 100% within my power, but I'm like the opposite of those guys who just can't seem to figure out how to put on mass - I could toss on 20 lbs while lifting/working out decently hard sooooo easy within the next month, and make some nice progress on my lifts without ever having to really struggle with it, whereas getting from 220 to 200 is a fucking passage through the crucible for me. Definitely losing that weight would make me at least marginally more attractive to girls, but idk, I definitely feel like better game is far more important to me at this moment than a little more definition, and the concomitant strength diminishment. Like I said, I'm definitely not skinny and fatter than I want to be (although I lol damn hard @ all the guys posting "yeah, I'm a taut muscle-bound beast, 6'2'' 250" given that with those stats they're either deluded fatties or roided out monsters), but I also am a legitimately broad-framed, big-boned cat who flirts with bear mode on good days. Idk, this is all probably just excuses because I know how fucking miserable pushing myself through to 200 lbs would be.