Quote: (09-04-2017 10:43 AM)Babablacksheep Wrote:
I think the reason she needs to know to be safe off STD. i used protection with the fling so thats something i took care of.
Yes i am planning on getting a green card. In the 7 months we have lived in, we have never ever had major fight. She is completely over her ex, her kid loves me and calls me the best dad. I don't want to be blowing the trumpet she does take good care of me. Makes me delicious and healthy food, the sex is good and we have great conversations on varying topics.
Regarding my cheating, i just don't want to screw up what i have.
I may be wrong, but for some reason I assume you have not been married before. There is a famous joke that applies to beta-marriages, according to which the bride smiles because from now on she will not have to suck his dick any more. I may be wrong again, but for some reason I am not yet convinced that this danger does not apply to you too. So my suggestion to you is to assume the worst, calculate your costs and benefits, and minimize your exposure to risks.
To get a permanent Green Card you have to be married for at least two years. If the marriage fails before that, you lose your Green Card and INS will be highly suspicious if you try again with another spouse. In another two years or so you can get citizenship, but otherwise, if you divorce before achieving that, your eligibility for citizenship will be postponed by two additional years. (By the way, I know all that because my current wife is not American and one of the reasons I married her, after years of cohabitation including raising a child together, was precisely so she will be eligible for an unconditional Green Card if and when I return to the US.)
So your benefit marrying her is the accelerated citizenship track. The cost is you must keep the marriage working for at least two years, preferably four, even if you find that it is not as blissful as you expected. You may find what many men find, and that is that marriage can destroy a relationship. The Forum is full of examples and warnings: make sure you heed them. To minimize your risk exposure, even if you have the option (which you probably don't), DO NOT ADOPT her child. For now, assume the marriage will not survive and assume you will leave it with just the clothes on your back. Is the benefit high enough? Do you really believe the risk is low enough? Then marry her. Otherwise, look for another way.