Quote: (08-22-2017 11:36 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:
Great that youre self evaluating and honest with yourself. Keep work other girls. Like anything else: practice makes perfect
It's tougher than I thought it would be. I am spending a lot of time with that evaluation/analysis/introspection after each interaction, thinking how I could have done better. It makes me aware of my own shortcomings in a way that nothing else in my life does. I try to tell myself that I'm going to avoid repeating the same mistakes next time, but the hard part is not knowing when the next time will be. It feels like a leap of faith to decide to continue rather than throwing in the towel.
If it's any sign of progress, I've been doing about 3-5 approaches and meeting 1-2 prospects who seemed interested, each week for the past few weeks ever since I started going out and gaming. Some interactions from that progression, and what I learned:
- Asked department store employee who was advertising some facial cream for men to try it out on me, and then got her number. Asked her out over text but she politely turned it down with "boyfriend". LESSON: Chat more than the 5 min we had, and build more connection.
- Made out with a girl I met at a bar. (First time I did that in front of so many people) She had to leave but she suggested meeting the next night, but it was also in a bar and with her friend. I didn't escalate fast enough the second night; I hesitated because I wasn't sure what to do in front of so many people and her friend, and I was too tired to catch her hints to escalate until I thought about it afterwards. LESSON: Don't be a pussy, escalate in public if that's the only option.
- Got number from girl at a meetup event, who seemed interested. Texted her a bit and invited her to go to a bar later. She said she didn't want to go home late but suggested that we go the next weekend. When I texted her a few days later to go to a bar during the week, she responded with "boyfriend". Should have just said we'll take an Uber, or she can stay at my place. LESSON: When she's interested, don't wait until the next weekend.
- Saw a girl glance my way while we were walking home after work. Opened her and chatted with her on the subway. She got off at one station, so I got out and talked a little bit. I was trying to think of an instadate at this point, but my mind blanked out and I didn't know any places in the area. So I left with her number, my first ever from a street approach. Texted once but she didn't seem as receptive as in person. Thinking about it afterwards, I thought of one place for instadate, or should have just said let's go get something to eat and look up a cafe nearby. LESSON: Go for instadate. Have an instadate in my mental quiver ready to fire.
- And the following weekend, I met the girl in this thread, hit it off, and went for the instadate. By far the biggest learning experience.
Quote:Quote:
As far as this girl:
Counter intuitively being too aggressive is better / easier to recover from than not aggressive enough. Id wait a few days and just restart her with a text
My favorite is "Hey I had a dream about you last night"
Girl's affinity for magical thinking + curiosity = They cant help but respond
Its almost always some form of "Oh really? What did you dream?"
Game on
I told her to meet me somewhere for dinner (a la Hank Moody's suggestion) but she didn't respond. Not sure if she will respond in a few days, but I'll give it a shot.