When I arrived in Sweden I had been off my game for quite some time. To be realistic with myself I had not been able to really get out there and follow through on my leads. Time was just not on my side as almost all my waking moments were fully booked.
Having said that, I was not blind to what was going on around me. I had my walk to and from the gym every second day and I used this as an opportunity to make sure that I did not let too many women pass me by that I could start up a conversation with. I still was sure to chat with a few new women every day, even though I could not do anything beyond a nice flirt. It had been two months since I had followed leads, and now I was gearing up to move over to Sweden. Plus I had an amazing woman on my arm, and another that would do anything for me if I would only ask.
One thing that I have had to really push myself with is trying to quicken my reaction to eye contact on the street. The times where I have wit on my side and am able to respond quickly enough, the conversation has always been extremely sexually charged right from the drop. Some things that I am looking to start doing are slowing down as I meet a woman in case she looks me down. I imagine that because she is moving she will not be able to perceive my reduction in speed. This also makes it easier to react. Many times strong eye contact on her part will happen while I was at full stride. In this type of contact, milliseconds are critical. When this happens and I complete my stride and turn around, she is three steps in the other direction and rarely (like 2% of the time) will she then respond to any sort of contact. I think this is because at that distance any try for communication will come across as a cat call. Women are hardwired to absorb the compliment and ignore the man.
So the adjustment to my game in Sweden is going to hinge on the accidental contact. During day hours, eye contact is rare and I have a feeling that if I approached from the front and with some sort of conversation starter the woman would be a little anxious. I have used a certain amount of trials so far, and the response has been good but they have lead nowhere.
One way of breaking the ice that I have been using is photography. I will target women who are well made up and dressed well (essentially the type of women I go for in general) and I will approach and ask them for a moment of time for a favour. I will explain that I am working on a project that is looking at some of the unique fashion trends from Scandinavia and how they compare to Canadian winter fashion. I will point out some of the more interesting accessories that she is wearing and talk about them while trying to get her to open up a bit. If she is in a hurry, at this point I will just let her be on her way. If she shows no sign of needing to leave, I tell her I would like to take a few photos of her. Swedish girls are generally a bit on the shy side, but are still feminine enough to be flattered and allow themselves to be ordered around quite happily. I don’t use a large DSLR camera, and instead use a high end compact camera as I want to come across as being more natural and not out creeping the streets for photos. I think that this is impotant as many times I get the feeling that women are more on guard against creepy behavior then they are about being chatted up on the street.
At the end, I will make a point of looking at the images and I will quickly select the best image as 99% of the time they are excited to see the results. I make them come over to look over my shoulder and the reaction is always really good.
I sometimes will flip through a few more than I have to and show them a couple strong images from other shoots. Women love photography, especially when they are in it and look good. This is also the perfect time to move into a better conversation about fashion. I have past experience in the fashion world and I still have many friends involved in it. I attend fashion shows and label launches when I can, so I know how to talk about this comfortably. If the vibe is strong I will suggest moving on to a café. So far in Sweden I have not been to this level yet. This is where I am going to have to work on my game. I also have only used the camera angle three afternoons since I have been here. I can see that it will reward me in time, but until I have more connection with Swedish girls, I will also have to rely heavily on cold approaches. For this I use a more over the shoulder, or stop and ponder then chat.
The city I am in is only 110,000 people so not many are in a hurry. Most are just burning time or running errands. The lack of eye contact and the shyness of Swedes play a factor in how I can approach them. So farI have only been told once that they are not interested in talking. The other times (I approach about 5- 10 a day when I am in the centre) have been extremely good. Swedish girls are extremely bright and like to laugh and giggle. This makes it easy to use a situation to open a conversation as they are aware people and chances are that they have picked up on the same thing that I have.
So what I am going to concentrate on working on is finding the strongest way to:
-Get numbers
-Instadates
-Invites to parties (Swedish pre parties especially if its Thursday to Saturday)
Some of the things that I feel would help in this matter is if I can get myself to slow down a bit. I am not sure how to explain this fully, but when I recap a situation I feel that I might have bailed too soon and not given myself enough credit that things were going good. By slowing down, I feel that I might become more aware of body language and her indications of interest.
I have only been here a week, so I also need to get a hold of the sexuality of Swedish women. This is especially important as I am in a smaller city and everything that I know of Swedish women was from meeting them in Spain or Thailand or places like that. Different people entirely. What I am starting to gather is that they are extremely tight with their girlfriends and do not seem to be concerned much about boys. I know this is not entirely true, as I seen groups of guys and girls about 10 large on the weekend. There is a brother/ sister vibe to the group for the most part, but I also began to pick up on subtle clues that sex was on the table. I need to look for this more to see what those clues are in order to start to use them to my advantage. Swedish girls certainly do not act as openly sexual as English speaking women do. I am starting to think that they save this for the bedroom. I am starting to see an open sexual vibe here, so it is a matter of figuring out how to get into it in a way that Swedes can relate to.
Having said that, I was not blind to what was going on around me. I had my walk to and from the gym every second day and I used this as an opportunity to make sure that I did not let too many women pass me by that I could start up a conversation with. I still was sure to chat with a few new women every day, even though I could not do anything beyond a nice flirt. It had been two months since I had followed leads, and now I was gearing up to move over to Sweden. Plus I had an amazing woman on my arm, and another that would do anything for me if I would only ask.
One thing that I have had to really push myself with is trying to quicken my reaction to eye contact on the street. The times where I have wit on my side and am able to respond quickly enough, the conversation has always been extremely sexually charged right from the drop. Some things that I am looking to start doing are slowing down as I meet a woman in case she looks me down. I imagine that because she is moving she will not be able to perceive my reduction in speed. This also makes it easier to react. Many times strong eye contact on her part will happen while I was at full stride. In this type of contact, milliseconds are critical. When this happens and I complete my stride and turn around, she is three steps in the other direction and rarely (like 2% of the time) will she then respond to any sort of contact. I think this is because at that distance any try for communication will come across as a cat call. Women are hardwired to absorb the compliment and ignore the man.
So the adjustment to my game in Sweden is going to hinge on the accidental contact. During day hours, eye contact is rare and I have a feeling that if I approached from the front and with some sort of conversation starter the woman would be a little anxious. I have used a certain amount of trials so far, and the response has been good but they have lead nowhere.
One way of breaking the ice that I have been using is photography. I will target women who are well made up and dressed well (essentially the type of women I go for in general) and I will approach and ask them for a moment of time for a favour. I will explain that I am working on a project that is looking at some of the unique fashion trends from Scandinavia and how they compare to Canadian winter fashion. I will point out some of the more interesting accessories that she is wearing and talk about them while trying to get her to open up a bit. If she is in a hurry, at this point I will just let her be on her way. If she shows no sign of needing to leave, I tell her I would like to take a few photos of her. Swedish girls are generally a bit on the shy side, but are still feminine enough to be flattered and allow themselves to be ordered around quite happily. I don’t use a large DSLR camera, and instead use a high end compact camera as I want to come across as being more natural and not out creeping the streets for photos. I think that this is impotant as many times I get the feeling that women are more on guard against creepy behavior then they are about being chatted up on the street.
At the end, I will make a point of looking at the images and I will quickly select the best image as 99% of the time they are excited to see the results. I make them come over to look over my shoulder and the reaction is always really good.
I sometimes will flip through a few more than I have to and show them a couple strong images from other shoots. Women love photography, especially when they are in it and look good. This is also the perfect time to move into a better conversation about fashion. I have past experience in the fashion world and I still have many friends involved in it. I attend fashion shows and label launches when I can, so I know how to talk about this comfortably. If the vibe is strong I will suggest moving on to a café. So far in Sweden I have not been to this level yet. This is where I am going to have to work on my game. I also have only used the camera angle three afternoons since I have been here. I can see that it will reward me in time, but until I have more connection with Swedish girls, I will also have to rely heavily on cold approaches. For this I use a more over the shoulder, or stop and ponder then chat.
The city I am in is only 110,000 people so not many are in a hurry. Most are just burning time or running errands. The lack of eye contact and the shyness of Swedes play a factor in how I can approach them. So farI have only been told once that they are not interested in talking. The other times (I approach about 5- 10 a day when I am in the centre) have been extremely good. Swedish girls are extremely bright and like to laugh and giggle. This makes it easy to use a situation to open a conversation as they are aware people and chances are that they have picked up on the same thing that I have.
So what I am going to concentrate on working on is finding the strongest way to:
-Get numbers
-Instadates
-Invites to parties (Swedish pre parties especially if its Thursday to Saturday)
Some of the things that I feel would help in this matter is if I can get myself to slow down a bit. I am not sure how to explain this fully, but when I recap a situation I feel that I might have bailed too soon and not given myself enough credit that things were going good. By slowing down, I feel that I might become more aware of body language and her indications of interest.
I have only been here a week, so I also need to get a hold of the sexuality of Swedish women. This is especially important as I am in a smaller city and everything that I know of Swedish women was from meeting them in Spain or Thailand or places like that. Different people entirely. What I am starting to gather is that they are extremely tight with their girlfriends and do not seem to be concerned much about boys. I know this is not entirely true, as I seen groups of guys and girls about 10 large on the weekend. There is a brother/ sister vibe to the group for the most part, but I also began to pick up on subtle clues that sex was on the table. I need to look for this more to see what those clues are in order to start to use them to my advantage. Swedish girls certainly do not act as openly sexual as English speaking women do. I am starting to think that they save this for the bedroom. I am starting to see an open sexual vibe here, so it is a matter of figuring out how to get into it in a way that Swedes can relate to.