[just a human]

(11-11-2016 09:00 AM)Mjölnir Wrote:  

(11-11-2016 06:43 AM)just a human Wrote:  

(11-10-2016 11:41 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

You're reading too much into it. Flaking is just a rejection. It's not some complicated meta-scheme women run to extract things from men. I'll tell you what is, though:

When a female refuses to meet up with you, but will chat with you endlessly. Women will string along men they want to extract attention from but are not interested in sexually for one reason or another. This may be along the lines of what you are talking about, but flaking isn't the right word. Flaking is just when you make arrangements with a female and she backs out, typically in a non-communicated manner (ignores you) or with lies/excuses. Flaking is blowing off plans.

A girl who will dance and flirt with you all night at the club but will not give you her number, or gives you a fake number. That is another example of a woman simply extracting entertainment out of you without being attracted enough to want to take the interaction further. Maybe she has a boyfriend and is just having fun. Maybe you aren't good looking enough for her to want to get sexual with. Etc.

Thank you for correcting me!

Then this thread should be titled - “A link between flaking and attention seeking”

Here is an example of what I mean:

It is a Friday night and I am going out.
On the way to the closest club, I receive a text from one of my plates.
(i was always acting very cool and unemotional with her. Never said any complements to her , never said that i like her)

She: “Are you partying tonight?”

Me: “Yes. Do You want meet me?”

She: “Yes, of course”

Me: “Ok. I will be in bar x. Can you come there?”

She: “Ok. - i'll be there after 20 min”

Me: “ Deal. See You there! “

I went to that bar, grabbed a beer and waited for her. She didn't come.
No texts no calls.
So- at this point-can we call this “flaking” or not?

Here is par two:

After 1,5 hours I sent her a bit needy text:
” What's going on? I am still waiting for You. Are You coming or not?”
No answer.
I don't care about this girl, but this kind of behavior is very disrespectful. And she should be somehow punished for this.


So i wrote very straight and serious:
"Are You playing games with me or what? I don't accept such kind of behavior. I'll be here for 15 minutes more. You have a chance to come and apologize. Other way - you'll never ever hear a word from me again."

Immediately - there was a call from her. She ran to me and apologized 10 times.
40 min. later we had sex at my place.
I asked her later a straight question- "What did you wanted to achieve with such behavior-a drama,attention,did you wanted me to act needy or what?"

Her answer was like: "Yes, all of this"

Ok, let me break this down.. Stop asking her things like do you want, can you come, etc..

If you're already going out, tell her to meet you there, and preferably start approaching before she arrives.

That text wasn't a bit needy, it was needy as fuck, especially for a guy who's have access to this forum and it's knowledge. Like I said you should be doing approaches not thinking about if she's coming or not.

This alone show that YES you do care about this girl, and are way more invested in her than she's in you. She doesn't deserve punishment, you are sounding like those entitled feminist bitches. Look man, she doesn't owe you nothing. Did you meet her saving her life or something ?

Of course she is playing games with you, in any interaction with any women (or men) there will always be a game being played, read "The games people play" by Eric Berne. And, if you don't want to play games why you're here anyway ?

You got the bang, but it seems to me that you're very concerned with being the alpha, and a man that doesn't tolerate bad behavior from women. But read your post, you REACTED to her, SHE PLAYED YOU, and you fell for it, when she said yes, all of this. It's because she knows she has you by the balls, she now knows for a fact that she can do whatever and you'll still stick to her bullshit. You could use some stoic philosophy.

I don't care how many times she said she's sorry or how fast she ran into your arms. She played you, and you went right into her frame, you're her puppet. Just because a girl said she's sorry and you had great sex after, doesn't mean she is really sorry.

Open your eyes, there is still a lot of blue pill running through your veins.

I look foward for a more experienced member to school us on how to correct this kind of mindset.

I'm not ranting on you OP, just pointing out that you're doing exactly the opposite of what you think you're doing in your head.

Man , noo )
It is hard to describe my mindset

That text: ” What's going on? I am still waiting for You. Are You coming or not?”
..that was like a joke. I was making fun of it - like-"let's send her some needy text first,and see reaction.."
You know-when you really don't care-you are free to act anyway you want..

You may believe me or not-if this girl today rejects me - i will laugh at it. I'll send her text like: "Oh my GOD! What a tragedy - you leaving me..."


And of course - i wasn't passively waiting there-i was approaching,and spending time with two russian girls at karaoke section...They left,and then i texted my plate...

Thanks to anyone for replies!