Quote: (08-23-2016 12:14 PM)polar Wrote:
You might not be clear with your intent, pacing them, and not establishing a time constraint.
Intent: is she clear that you are hitting on her, or at least not trying to sell her some shit or whisk her away to a dark alley?
Pacing: are you jumping straight in to talking to her, or are you prefacing that to get her attention and snap out of whatever you were thinking about:
"excuse me, (catch her eye, wave her down) hey, girl in the white dress...(she realizes someone wants her attention, snaps out of daydreaming, becomes alert)
... phew, (smile), I just ran over here, give me a second...(make it clear you're not a nuisance)
...ok, do you have a quick second, I need to tell you something, I know this is a little odd but I'll say it anyway...(stop her, get her full attention, make her intrigued)
<strong eye contact, deliver your opener>
This is the more direct "London" school of day game. Condense this a bit, but the point is you shouldn't just drop in on her and go straight to the opener.
Time constraint: More with night game than day, but basically early on bring up the fact that you're on the way to (X) like meeting your friend and "I only have a few minutes" if she's on guard - the goal being so she isn't like "when will this creeper leave, how will I get rid of him"
Well don't forget that I only ever approach at night in bars and stuff, so there's no danger of them thinking i'm trying to sell them anything.
As for intent, it obviously depends on the kind of approach I use.
When I banged the girl I mention in my OP, I told her I thought she was hot almost straight away. (after using some silly canned approach that she liked)
After that success, i started using that open all the time thinking i'd found the holy grail.
I then had lots of rejections when I carried on using that similar direct tactic, and then I read that it's best to use 'invisible game' in bars so that the girl doesn't feel as though she's being picked up. Apparently, especially if a girl is with her friends and you come on strong from the beginning. I am told that this will generally result in the girl rejecting you harsh so that she can look good in front of her friends.
So there seems to be some conflict between making ones intentions known
I was thinking some more about opener rejections earlier, and I think that a fair few of the rejections are my fault, in terms of not being proactive enough in the early stages of an approach.
Whenever 'openers' are discussed, every says 'just say hi!!....it's not hard''
I then found myself approaching girls, saying 'hi', they then say 'hi' back (with an upward inflection in their voice, as if to imply ''do I know you?!..what's going on?'')
and then i'd get thrown off and kind of start panicking as to what to say next!!
I think this stems from the fact that in general, I speak with people who like me and know me, and when I see them, I say 'hi!'' and from then on, they say 'hi' back and then immediately start asking ME questions and stuff. I tihnk i've almost forgot that when approaching girls in bars, It's ALL on me!....certainly at teh beginning.
I notice that one of the rsd guys is quick to react when this happens to them, and then they always reply with something like ''don't be alarmed! I'm not crazy'' or something like that. Maybe I should start doing that
I'm going out on Saturday too a friends stag doo so hoping to make some approaches.
I think i'm maybe the sort of person who needs to rely on 'canned' stuff, as my brain tends to get analysis paralysis when i'm trying to think in the moment.
I was watching an hour of infield with on of the rsd guys earlier, and I noticed that he tended to reuse lots of the same openers, initial questions in his interactions, so maybe it's not just for amateurs? Although, most video pickup is on foreign girls which seems to make the whole process a bit easier, funnily enough
I need to burn a few 'openers' (after the hi) into my brain. Maybe almost a 'system'.
Girl holding phone in her hand?...open with hi and then x
Girl on her own? open with hi and then y
Girl with a few friends? Open with hi and then z
Girl has blonde hair? open with....you get the idea.
It's kind of robotic, but maybe it'll help me. I won't lose much from trying I guess.