[Off The Reservation]

(12-14-2014 08:01 AM)BasketBounce Wrote:  

I took a pretty light courseload in university this year, and I kinda went monk mode at first. I realized that there are certain hobbies that I had that I didn't really need or enjoy.

I didn't go out as much this year, but I still needed to socialize, so I just started talking to people during the day more. I am now way more comfortable striking up a random conversation with people during the day.

I am glad that I read this thread. Some of you have opened up my eyes to the pitfalls of having unbalanced goals. I don't think anyone here disagrees that long-term self improvement is important. What one must realize is that "long-term" is longer than a six-month reclusive period; long-term self improvement is a cyclical process that spans one's lifetime. Furthermore, that benefits of self-improvement is the process itself, not the end-game; that's why something like "monk-mode for a month" is a tenuous way truly build inner value.

I will describe my "monk mode" experiences a little depeer
- I work out around 6 am before my classes start
- I study harder
- I read more books
- I meditate daily
- Drank less and did not "go out as much"
- Used less internet

Both good things and bad things have occurred as a result of these changes. For example because I don't have internet, I have not been as invited to as many social events simply because most things at my school are through Facebook. This is both a boon and a curse; I am no longer inundated with notifications about parties that I don't really want attend. However, I understand that I am missing out on opportunities to form completely new relationships with people. Daily meditation has helped me with my focus. Since I see what I want more clearly, I have cut out certain activities in my life, and I have also cut out certain people. By cutting out certain people, I have undoubtedly missed out on certain social opportunities.

I have a gf, which helps with steady stream of sex. However, as someone else in this thread states, it can be easy to lose your drive for sex when you get it at the drop of a hat from someone. Therefore, I have also made huge strides in making new female "friends" in class, the gym, meditation groups, etc. because I realize that the number one reason why mean fail at game is complacence. I would not say game is my focus right now at all; the point I am trying to make is that I am not completely neglecting either.

As you can see, both good and bad can come from any period of change. Therefore, I don't think monk mode is bad, but I also don't it's a one and done activity. I think it needs to be a mental state for when you really want to accomplish a specific kind of goal. You will go through monk mode multiple times throughout your life. Your intentions for achieving your goals should not be so ends-focused: because once you achieve success in one goal, you'll just start looking for another goal to be successful at. What's important is not the achievement of success, but the struggle to get there.

To conclude, after my experiences with a similar dedication to self-improvement, I would say that it is important to constantly try to improve yourself in all areas (social life, business life, physical fitness, intellectual life, and more), but it is even more important to realize that succeeding at those goals will actually not bring you happiness.

I disagree, meeting goals does bring and enhance happiness.