[JWLZG]

(07-10-2016 08:56 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

For solo night game at least, two sets of a guy and a girl might as well not exist. It's way too much effort to figure out what the dynamic is, and even if the guy is 100% "gay best friend" the odds of being cockblocked are overwhelming.

Noted. What about a slightly larger group; say a guy with a few other girls?

(07-10-2016 08:56 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

There's a thread here somewhere about approaching three sets of two girls and a guy, which probably has a somewhat better chance of success, though I haven't tried it. I pretty much follow the "Approachable Girl Metric" to the letter:

http://www.rooshv.com/the-approachable-girl-metric

It's a bit less of an issue, and it's worked in my favour in the past, as I said in my OP. Because the gender dynamic is now balanced, I've found it a quantum leap easier (managed to isolate her).

(07-10-2016 08:56 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

If you're even considering solo approaching groups with an equal number of men and women (including 1 and 1) I'd say it's simply a bad venue and you need to try somewhere else.

Is it because it plays into her mindset, even if she would've been otherwise receptive to you?

(07-10-2016 08:56 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Also, just from a personal "ethics" standpoint, I would generally feel that I was being obnoxious and a nuisance approaching a male-female couple, regardless of what my gut feeling on his "friend zone" status was.

You've got a point that it's not exactly cool to cut someone's grass, as we say here.
Even when you're not exactly sure where the other dude stands with her, there's a fine line between "Do unto others" and "survival of the fittest".

That probably explains why after acknowledging me, her responses came across as cooler than previously.

(07-10-2016 08:56 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

It also feels a bit like pedestalization; gee whiz now she's got two guys chatting with her, blow her ego up a little more. No sadder sight than to see four guys out front of a bar leaning in and chatting and giggling at every word that comes from the mouth of some lame "6" standing there smoking a cigarette.

True, whether or not she's used to it. That's why I decided to eject early.

(07-10-2016 09:15 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(07-10-2016 09:06 AM)Dino Wrote:  

You could change the thread title to:

The guy that wants to fuck her or is thinking about how he had fucked her.

Quote:

He didn't look like the cockblocking type

All the men who aren't the "cockblocking type" are probably here, and even that probably isn't a 100% guarantee. Did he show OP his RooshV Forum membership card?

OK, what I wrote sounds stupid in hindsight. And to be fair, she's attractive enough and in the sort of industry (music) to not be completely "single" for long.

I'll play it by ear next time I see her. It's my fault for not number closing those couple of months ago.

(07-10-2016 09:27 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(07-10-2016 09:16 AM)TornadoByProxy Wrote:  

Good thoughts from XPQ22.

I'd add, the girl knows how she appears to the world with this guy. She knows she has an additional barrier up. Most girls in this situation aren't out to meet a guy.
But you sometimes get one of two personality extremes. She may really like guys bold enough to approach anyway. Or she may get off on humiliating the guy with her when another guy approaches.
You need to judge the situation, but if the girl isn't uncomfortable for her guy friend, then you shouldn't be either.
Could you have number closed? Of course you can sometimes.

Another thing I watch out for is the "trap approach" - this happens to me at least once an evening when at a night game venue it seems. It's when a girl approaches you at the bar and seems really interested, and you think you've got a solid prospect on your hands; you're itching to move from your spot to go after her and see if you can follow up the interaction/isolate.

Hold up just a minute, player, and don't move your ass an inch. If you stay put and take a moment to watch, I guarantee you that 75% of the time she's going to walk right back across the room to a group of male orbiters, or even her boyfriend. At the very least, a large mixed gender group. Try to follow up the "trap approach" girl into that jungle and you're very likely to get the harshest of blowouts.

They're playing first and second degree "Rapo", aka "Kiss Off" and "Buzz Off, Buster!", straight out of Eric Berne circa 1959.

http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/rapo/

It's kind of disheartening considering how I routinely receive IOIs in night game (and have learnt to recognise them more and more) — and interpret that as having gotten the a-OK from her group. At that point I'd have thought, cool, it's game on easy mode, no need to bother disarming her group.

I can't just wish away that circle of protective girlfriends and jealous beta orbiters.