[XPQ22]

(06-02-2016 01:00 AM)Grindhard Wrote:  

In addition, she is a virgin waiting for marriage. But, she still gives me head and swallows and I finger her etc. She's not a feminist, and not too feminine. Borderline, cold. Can we say, a Capricorn? lol

If she's an attractive young girl who's maybe more of the "introverted" type, and also a virgin (let's not get into that one...) it may be that she just lacks experience in romantic relationships. That's not necessarily bad...but I still think trying to be really forceful about minor issues is the incorrect approach.

The reason the "soft next" is an effective "relationship management" technique is because you're pulling back the one thing young women want from you the most - your attention. You don't want to use it all the time, but in my (admittedly limited) experience withdrawing attention is a great way to nonconfrontationally inform women what you appreciate, and what you don't. I think it's impossible to have any relationship with a woman for any length of time which doesn't have some level of drama/conflict, but getting upset just hurts everyone. I think of pulling back on the attention as a "harm reduction" technique.

Young women hold a lot of the cards, but we do control when we give them what they want and when we do not. And being sensitive and critical regarding minor issues is a form of attention. Chicks are pretty sharp about many things, even young virgins...it can be a little difficult to know exactly the situation from a few paragraphs, but it sounds sort of like she realizes you view her as a hot prospect for a serious LTR, and she's leveraging that to her advantage. If you didn't, when she told you that she was a virgin and/or saving herself for marriage you would have walked - it seems unlikely that someone else who didn't see in her what you do hasn't done that before.

As you say, it seems women have some kind of innate unquenchable desire to push. But simply not giving is often all it takes to get them back in line.

These are good issues for me to think about as well, because though I said above that for the moment I'm "all about the nut", for me I feel that it's simply because I was out of the game for a while for various reasons, and I find myself back in it right in my mid 30s, when my SMV is at its peak and I'm getting more attention from women than I ever have. It also helps that I worked very hard at taking care of myself and living a "clean" lifestyle, so I look significantly younger than my actual age. But time marches on, and I'm sure at some point banging for the sake of banging will lose appeal for me also, and I'll find myself seeking something similar to what you are.