It sounds like you have tried all western medicine has to offer and it has failed so why not try Buddhist meditation? There are tons of resources online that will teach you how to meditate each day using the breathing technique. It sounds stupid but probably the only thing that has really helped me deal with down times is Buddhist meditation. I regret that I don't have the discipline to do it for 20 minutes a day. Even 2-3 minutes can help, it's pretty powerful when done right.
This is just my two cents, but I use to buy into the American viewpoint of depression (basically that it is not normal and you must treat it with therapy and/or pills). In some cases that may be appropriate, but I think overall we all suffer. There's a saying in Buddhism that basically says: Once you are taking pills and thinking there is something wrong with you, you will actually become more depressed because you start to think of yourself as a unusual freak because you are on pills. Your depression actually becomes the source of more depression. In other words, in the west the underlying reason for depression isn't really treated. I have forgotten a lot of the Buddhist teachings but basically it goes like this: (1) all humans suffer (2) by accepting that it's not just you alone who suffers (3) you can actually overcome grief and depression. You essentially need to change your mindset about how you think about things.
You should check out a Buddhism book at least to see if it's something you are interested in.
This is just my two cents, but I use to buy into the American viewpoint of depression (basically that it is not normal and you must treat it with therapy and/or pills). In some cases that may be appropriate, but I think overall we all suffer. There's a saying in Buddhism that basically says: Once you are taking pills and thinking there is something wrong with you, you will actually become more depressed because you start to think of yourself as a unusual freak because you are on pills. Your depression actually becomes the source of more depression. In other words, in the west the underlying reason for depression isn't really treated. I have forgotten a lot of the Buddhist teachings but basically it goes like this: (1) all humans suffer (2) by accepting that it's not just you alone who suffers (3) you can actually overcome grief and depression. You essentially need to change your mindset about how you think about things.
You should check out a Buddhism book at least to see if it's something you are interested in.