Quote: (11-28-2015 09:10 AM)duedue Wrote:
Thanks for your response. I understand what you are saying. It pertains to one of the main weaknesses of my game: "Do it (approach) so that you'll have done it." It can also be called "strike-and-run game". I'm still not good at making that inter-personal connection.. I like to liken it to entering a spaceship, say her personality is like a spaceship who's doors are closed (unless she is desperate) and you need to find a vent to enter her world (like in 2001 Space Odyssey). But finding that vent, or more precisely finding it with a total stranger in a very short amount of time, baffles me all the time. Here are some tactics that come to mind:
* Make her laugh
* Tell her interesting stories about yourself
* Make an observation or guess about her appearance or character
"I thought you were a soccer player because you look badass."
"I like your style." (Say she is wearing a skirt and has long hair.)
* Offer her advice
*Ask her questions. I'm soooo good at this!
I think helping her or giving her advice or info works better for younger girls although it can work for MILFs of course.
I don't think she is hit on 10 times a day. It's a small college town and a lot of the restaurant's clients are regulars.
Could you tell how got to know that the father of that receptionist was a tanker?
I had a tank wallpaper on android phone I needed to note something on the phone she saw it and mentioned it quickly. people love to connect somehow. I also had a tank stats app and a couple of pictures to go with it, seeing her interest I quickly swiped for a second and basically show it's a genuine interest. mentioned it's my new love even though I was not a tanker myself and never been in one. (her father obviously has been in one and this was her cue).
if you're passionate about something no matter what the clear display of high concentration of emotions when talking about it triggers something on the opposite sex. many people (men included) live day to day and the NEXT HIGH is friday pub. having some higher goal and/or passion (doesn't need to be about saving mankind - could be star wars lol) and not being shy about it sets you apart and helps her see you're something special. personally I usually move on pretty quickly but I think and remember friends who have literally life-long passions and I know how they respond to it when it's mentioned: how they talk about it, unusually animated body gestures and so on. it's a great thing to learn & a great ability to fake. I had the coin geek at work and I would show him a 10p and he would talk about <whatever> coin issued by queen victoria in <1857 or whenever>. if you don't interrupt, he'd go on about for 30 minutes. that's not attractive. the initial high emotion bit is. copy the useful bit and drop the nerdness aspect.
Quote:Quote:either work on it and improve over time (BTW don't beat yourself it's not something to improve for the weekend)
I'm still not good at making that inter-personal connection..
or
don't assume there is one right way of doing it. if you do not wish to work on the IP-connection you might find it better to use one of the raider techniques.
one example I can think of: there was this guy in NY (American, from another state originally) I read about and also skimmed through his ebook. he practically became the NY-raider lol. sadly can't remember his name now but he was later on national TV so you should be able to find him in google. perhaps use his technique of movie trailers. you don't need to connect or handhold more than 3-5 minutes with his method during the first meet.
-be careful with giving advice it can trigger negative sentiments especially if you're much younger (i.e.: clearly less life-experienced).
-"I like your style" is good but need to go well with other background things. such as you need to demonstrate you are a man who clearly knows about style (and can display with your own appearance) otherwise can come off as obvious flattery/hitting on her.