Quote: (11-05-2011 06:54 AM)Spartan Wrote:
I speak Polish fluently and start talking to them in Polish. Is it better to approach and speak English?
Where to approach and what should I say?
Overall, I am very disappointed in Poland. If anyone has any tips, I could use them.
ok tell me what it means you fail. what are the reactions?
a little background..
i think the main reason that EE people are more reserved is communism which fucked people in the head very very much. it was the time of fighting with the system and dealing with constant snitches. literally. snitches were eveywhere so people got super distrustful and raised their children the same way. people are not open here. we haven't learned to be that friendly as western europe people. even though young people are free of this mindfucked mentality being friendly/social/open is still not that valuable in our society. it's too early. we're still are learning it.
examples..
+ someone here posted about mall opener where he said to fill your basket with a lot of funny shit then stand next to the girl to make her notice that stuff and bait her to start conversation. here i can's see it working cause girls LITERALLY don't look around don't hold their eye contact with strangers and basically don't make themselves available in any shape or form. at least during the daytime. even if she will notice something funny about your groceries she will not start talking to you. damn she won't even look at you for 2 seconds out of curiosity. so from the distanse it looks like don't even see you like they look past you not at you. it looks like they just read "the rules" by ellen fein and act accordingly. it's a fake front so you can that seriously and do your thing break their shields
+ she can stand next to you in line at mall and she will not talk to you
+ you can ask her for directions and she may tell you quickly and then start walking
+ you can sitting with girls at the same table AT COLLEGE and they will probably not talk to you unless you engage them. and when you stop they will probably not re-engage the conversation.
+ when i want to ask for direction and have a nice small talk i prefer to ask foreigner even if he/she doesn't know the direction
+ travelling by train i know that when a bunch of spanish people walk in they will befriend me right away and i will have a very nice fun trip. it doesn't happen with natives.
+ when i'm at hostel foreigners leave their stuff (ipods etc) on bed. we lock everything in the lockers and hide the key making sure nobody knows where it is.
+ my friends moved in and don't want to even talk to their neighbours. they don't give a fuck
as i talked with my girl friends about this and they either say "i don't do it" (starting cnversations) or they get surprised asking me "me? that's your job". the most confident ones say they don't want to make it easier for guys just to see if they can deal with them being cold innitially.
to me solutions is to TAKE OVER. cause that's what it takes to stop her, catch her attention, interupt her current thought pattern and talk to maintaining the dominant thing in that given situation. you take over her time for few minutes to talk to her and to see what's she's about. simply out of curiosity. you see her you got curious about her and decided to talk to her. that's it. but at the same time the approach must be demanding enough to let her know WHY you're talking to her. she has to know WHAT'S THE DEAL. that's what makes her comfortable just because she knows your intentions.
indirect/soft/from the side/asking some shit does not accomplish it. she has no idea what's goin on. she's weirded out. she will not stop on her tracks and listen just because some stranger guy on her left side casually asked her something ambiguous and gave up when she ignored him. we don't do that. we don't talk to strangers without the reason. it's suspicious. the reasong should be known. and what's even worse is that she knows that he could ask anybody so now it only shows he's just hiding behind some bullshit and has no balls to talk to her more honestly. game over
yesterday i saw cute girl walking in opposite direction and my first thought was "damn why she's leaving the place i'm heading at?". so i when she as like 3-4 metres in front of me i turned and went straight at her waved my hand to make her stop and said "hey hey stop for a second.. you're going in the wrong direction.. i'm going there you can't leave now.. " she was surprised and didn't know what was going on so i let her know "i wanted to talk to you how am i supposed to stop you.. beside i really think it suck you're leaving cause i want to take you back there.." and we talked more. so the thing is.. she noticed me early coming straight AT HER demanding her attention, i honestly let her know i'm interested/curious and i said the first thing i thought about that situation we were both in.
in a situation like that you can't approach say something to her and follow her as she's still walking and giving you minimum attention. it sucks. at least here.
and that's only daygame
nightgame is all about GOING HARD. you can't lose. competing with loud music, alcohol, friends, lights, smoke and shit is tough so things like strong eye contact, full frontal approach, projecting voice is a must. and things like grabbing her hand and pulling her in makes it even better. of course it is calibrated to the stimulus level (the more stimulus the harder the approach) but again.. party is not the place for safe & soft shit. i see how bad it usually ends. i see girls dancing with each other seemingly having their own cute fun but they look around all the time for a guy who will TAKE them. literally. take them by the hand and lead them and give them exciting experience. the ones who will be not down for that probably have their reason but it's all good cause now other girls see you going hard shamelessly and will make themselves more approachable for you.
last friday. about 2am. dancefloor was sparse. i was on fire. and this hot hot chick dancing with her girl friend 1m away with her back on me (they probably eyecoded each other) suddenly starts walking towards me backwards (it wasn't a dance even she just walks backwards barely moving her hips to the music), i enjoy the show take on step back for fun and she walks walks walks maintaing good direction until she accindentally bumps into me. i grab her hand pull her in and we're a couple instantly. makeout and it went from there. funny shit : ))))
PS. i know lodz. where do you go out? czekolada, ambasada, lordis, elektrownia, gossip, lizard king, kaliska ??