Quote: (10-10-2015 12:59 PM)JordanH Wrote:
Quote: (10-10-2015 12:33 PM)BambiNotForLong Wrote:
I'm a newbie as well so don't quote me on this but I think holding your hand out to a chick you've never spoken to for a dance is the worst thing you can do.
Good luck bro!
How so? It doesn't take much time to go from a hand shake to holding hands.
To OP it sounds like your weren't mentally prepared enough when you went out. You might want to start your preparations early. Watch some comedy and a fairly small amount of weight lifting then take a walk into town. Supermarkets, shops etc and talk to anybody to get you into a social mood.
Then each bar you go into think to yourself 'how would I act if I were the owner of this bar?' and walk around and talk as if that were true. Talk to guys, talk to girls ask them what they think of the venue, drinks selections and music etc. Ask them where they drank before coming there etc.
One of the girls you do this with will vibe with you well enough for you to proceed from there.
It might be worth starting in a town that is not your home town. That way if your vibe is not so cool to begin with you won't see any negative outcome from it. Might be worth getting a friend who has similar goals to you to wing for you to begin with.
+1
Good advice mate. You kind of hit the nail on the head. I have always felt this was the case.
This is not my hometown, just came here about 3 months back. But might be staying here for the long term, about 2 yrs because of work.
I did watch some shows to get into a lighter mood before going out but here, the city just becomes deserted after 8pm, everyday of the week. The only sound you will hear after about 9 will be teens racing the roads in their fancy cars. To be honest, I am the only one taking the bus to the city at night and the only places where there are people are the night spots so this kills the mood a little bit.
Have asked for a meetup of in this forum but no replies so far. Being in the mid 20s, and this being more like a small town a lot of the guys are in LTR or married and all they are interested in is a drink or two with their buddies. It definitely feels weird going out alone and have never seen anyone else running approaches here but that can be a good and a bad thing. All my mates in campus unfortunately are rarely up for a night out and if we are out give typical beta excuses for not approaching.
But your topics on conversation are good, the confidence to approach and holding it after the approach is what's missing right now. And one newbie question, wouldn't going around talking to everyone seem strange to other people, wouldn't one be pegged as 'that guy' desperate for some company?