Quote: (09-19-2015 10:43 AM)Phoenix Wrote:
Failure to approach is not caused by a deficient intake of drugs. Are you going to walk around carrying a sack of all the drugs you need to cope with a normal life? What you need is to chug a nice cup of cement and harden up.
I also don't care that you don't want a lecture, you're getting it anyway because you need it. Hope it doesn't trigger you, lest you have to take your expensive 'I got lectured on the internet even when I asked them not to' pills to cope with the discomfort.
Practical advice:
- When you feel discomfort during an approach, do it anyway. It fades a bit each time until it's quite minor.
- Practice going into bars alone and just chilling at the bar by yourself. It feels weird to begin with, but eventually feels as normal as going to a shop.
- Find other groups of people (such as local 'pickup lairs', or meetups with people from RVF or similar) who expect dudes to approach. I've seen firsthand the peer pressure of being in such a group compel soft men to approach. It seems the inbuilt peer pressure from the group cancels out the anxiety of approaching. Do approach: maybe the girl rejects you, Don't approach: the guys definitely reject you.
Phoenix has a point here. What he is describing has been called 'Exposure Therapy' and has merit. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy
Exposure therapy fucking works. But it only works if you continue the exposure.
I have had some anxiety and so I do very specific things to lower my baseline anxiety level.
1. Rock climbing routes above my level where I will have falls. (three times a week)
2. Swimming in cold lakes/water (this is like a fucking magic pill), also cold showers.
3. Plan to engage in things like approaches that will cause me anxiety.
4. Sprinting
5. Lifting weights (for me I do an intense kettle bell set to music and then scream)
I actually do not have approach anxiety at all but I do have closing anxiety so I will approach women, make jokes but not get the number.
I have also used NLP techniques and Tony Robbins NAC stuff to good success. I did the firewalking thing and it removed almost all anxiety for a number of months.
G