[Goldfinger]

(09-04-2015 06:42 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

My initial thought reading your first post in this thread:

(09-04-2015 04:31 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Guys are scared to expose themselves and be vulnerable by allowing themselves to develop deep feelings for a girl, because they've been hurt in the past when the woman turned on them.

I think this is a common thing with a lot of guys in the game, so as a result they develop a more cold and callous emotional wall and demeanor with women. Honestly being more cold and calculating can lead to more success as a player, but I feel like you are also sacrificing a lot of the positive emotions that you can experience when connecting with a chick you really like.

You're mourning the fact that you can never just 'be yourself' with women whilst remaining sexually-attractive and emotionally-exciting to them. Rebel against this all you want and try to fiercely resist the passing of your emotional innocence - Rage, rage against the dying of the light - but, like your eventual death, this is one of those harsh realities you just have to accept.

You're misreading the emotional wall as meaning you get no enjoyment from women and the relationship isn't positive. Women with low emotional resilience and no real life hardships thrive on emotional instability: if you offer her absolute certainty in your feelings about her, or mirror her emotional instability, she will simply grow bored and seek it elsewhere.

It's not 'cold and callous': it's being experienced with women enough to maintain complete emotional control whilst having a healthy scepticism for their predictable attempts at emotional manipulation designed to force you to qualify the relationship as she desires.

Think about this George Clooney on a runway with a model he seems disinterested in trailing on his arm versus Tom Cruise jumping around on a couch screaming about how much he loved his girlfriend. Which man greatly-damaged his sex appeal with women?

Frustrating a woman's desires keeps her emotionally-uncertain as to your feelings about her, which, whilst seeming like misery to us, seems to be the emotional state that generates optimum happiness in women, particularly as they can use it to focus attention on themselves within their social circle.

They desire this to the extent that I've seen again and again woman who are married to very kind, caring men, trying desperately to convince themselves that somehow these men don't really care about them, to ridiculous and petty degrees:

"He never puts the toilet seat down!"

"He never empties the lint filter in the dryer!"

"Why is he happy for me to always wear jeans? Why doesn't he want me to dress prettier?"

"The roller door on my side of the garage is harder to pull up than the one on his side. Why does he make me use it?"

In each of these cases, I know the men adore them and would instantly do as was asked to prove their love. But the women don't ask: again and again I hear "He should just know!" In other words, they want to passive-aggressively seethe over imagined slights to add the emotional uncertainty they really crave to their otherwise-healthy, caring relationships.

If this is the state they naturally gravitate to, it's not callous or cold to give them what they most desire. It can be as simple as keeping your arm along the back of the couch instead of putting it around your girlfriend whilst you're watching a movie.

If you want to express your unfettered emotional side, channel it into art, not a relationship.