Quote: (09-04-2015 04:31 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:
Guys are scared to expose themselves and be vulnerable by allowing themselves to develop deep feelings for a girl, because they've been hurt in the past when the woman turned on them.
I think this is a common thing with a lot of guys in the game, so as a result they develop a more cold and callous emotional wall and demeanor with women. Honestly being more cold and calculating can lead to more success as a player, but I feel like you are also sacrificing a lot of the positive emotions that you can experience when connecting with a chick you really like.
On the flip side of that coin the higher you feel the harder you fall, if and when the relationship falls apart. This is especially painful if it's a girl you feel deeply for and she does something to betray you or your trust.
I think you need a little yin and yang, can't be all darkness or all light, when you're too positive and lovey dovey you're not always thinking logically and are putting yourself in a vulnerable position, but if you're all darkness then you're cold and closed off, you're not operating out of a positive place, everything is a battle and chess match, living like that can be a downer.
My thoughts exactly.
Not saying anyone here is guilty of this, but I've come across it elsewhere on the forum: guys who shame emotional engagement with girls and avoid it because it's 'beta'. Those guys suggest game is about emotional indifference and notches. Anything otherwise and you're a chump.
Nah.
Moreover, as long as you understand that relationships end and are not everlasting, and that you will always have to have options and exercise them, there's no harm in my opinion in allowing yourself to bond with a girl. Just as you said, in my experience it's the best way to experience some of the best highs the game can offer. You just have to accept you'll have to hurdle through some lows.
Being a man isn't to be indifferent in these situations; it's to engage them as they come and to have the ability to move on from them when they naturally conclude.