[AneroidOcean]

(07-22-2015 10:28 AM)Gorgiass Wrote:  

TLDR - What are your guy's thoughts on the pros and cons of having roommates vs living alone? Rent and a wingman worth less personal space? Any personal stories you have that would sway someone for or against it?

The TL part - Reason for asking is I recently settled in a new area, when I moved I hired a guy off Craigslist to help. Few years younger than me, intelligent guy if a bit new-agey, bodybuilder, good natural game - better than mine. I was impressed with his work ethic and offered him some work when we started a job near him which wound up getting pushed back to this fall. Despite his game he was head over heels with his babies' momma, told me among other things that he just gives her whatever he earns because she was educated and better with the money. "Seems like a bad idea but whatever works for you, man". He was also on probation for an assault charge.

Occasional text contact, and the other day I got a letter from jail telling me that babies' momma got into his Facebook, found some messages and nudes of girls he was banging, flipped her shit, posted them online, attacked him. They both went for restraining orders but for whatever reason only hers took and the judge gave her full custody of the kids. A month later he sent her a text saying he still loved her and wanted to see the kids, she reported and he went to jail for probation violation. He said that he was done with XXX state and asked about work and maybe renting a room.

I'm torn between helping a brother out and getting a social circle started, and coming home after a workweek to someone else's dishes in the sink. Been on my own for 10 years but had some slobby roommates before that. The cash would be nice but I don't really need it. There's also the consideration that he wants to work with me but I already have a good crew with seniority that I have to keep busy first. Even that can sometimes be a challenge, so he'd be looking at very intermittent work and have to keep himself busy the rest of the time. It sounds like he was doing fine with work before, but potential for some drama there.

I've been waffling on the fence for a few days so hoping somebody out there has the tiebreaking anecdote or advice.

Getting a social circle started with (and live with) an ex-con who RECENTLY violated his probation and can't manage his money and who has no solid work other than if you give it to him? Whatever could go wrong?

How do you not see the GIGANTIC red flag this is for a friend much less a roommate?

If you decide to get a roommate in the future don't do it with anyone with these gigantic red flags. Be very clear about what you're looking for and ask them about their schedule, their habits, their interests, etc... Be detailed and thorough and you can end up with a decent roommate. Living alone is better than having an okay roommate every time. The only reason to have a roommate is to save money or be able to afford in a nicer location with better logistics.

If you decide to have a roommate make sure you're the only one on the lease (with a clause that allows you to sublet, in the past I've lowered my rent by nearly 20% this way renting out rooms for more than they cost me) because if push comes to shove you can put their stuff in a storage locker, change the locks, and bye bye roommate. You don't really know someone well until you've lived with them. If someone is exhibiting these signs before you even have spent any significant time around them/lived with them, it's not going to get any better.

TL;DR DON'T DO IT