Quote: (07-28-2015 04:16 AM)Goelsaab Wrote:
Quote: (07-28-2015 03:08 AM)262 Wrote:
Asian-American here - so I understand the "looking out for your parents" thing.
But - have you talked to them about that, and the rest of your issues? If your parents are like mine, more than likely, what they want more for you more than anything else is financial security and children, assuming you don't have them already. And my guess is they would be fine with you going to another city - and maybe even abroad outside of India - if it gives you both.
Note that I'm not saying you have to give them grandchildren now, or even ever. On that note, you may also find that your parents' wishes for you are in conflict with your own desires. As I explained in my relocation thread, my mother was against me leaving the US, but I think she was able to accept the fact that if she ever wanted a suitable mother for her grandchildren, I was more likely to find one abroad than in the US. For you, financial security and/or better women may be easier to obtain in another city or abroad, even temporarily.
Thanks for your reply.
Yes, I have spoken to my parents about my issues and yes, you are right about they being in favour of the relocation.There is no pressure to get married and have grandchildren(incredibly rare for Indian parents), which is sort of a consolation.
As you would, no doubt, understand, what restrains me is my sense of responsibility, to "repay the debt", so to speak. They took lots of pains in bringing me up and I feel that I owe them something for those pains. I will definitely give your relocation thread a read.
Also, get over this mentality that you HAVE to do something for your parents because they brought you up and other crap.
Everyone in this life does only that which is selfish and promotes their own happiness.
While this may sound as something only an insensitive person would say, it really is the truth.
Your decisions should be based solely on selfish reasons because ultimately your happiness is what counts. If you do something because you felt like doing it out of debt, it's only going to subconsciously make you hate your parents.
I saw my mom take her last heartbeat when she passed away from cancer, so I do know where your fear of losing your parents originates. The fear of losing my father haunts me too everyday but you can't let these things come in the way of doing exactly what you want to do.
It'll all hurt but you just have to keep going. Figure out your path by contemplating things daily, harden the hell up and keep going.