6/29/15 3rd approach with one of the front desk girls
this one doesn't count as a fresh approach as it's a girl i've approached before, but it was better than my previous approaches, although definitely still needs work.
This girl was giving me tons of IOIs a couple of months ago. I beta-ignored them all and didn't really talk to her much and I missed the window of opportunity. By the time I first approached her for a conversation beyond "hello" I knew I had already blown it but I've been trying to force myself to interact just for the practice.
go up to the desk, hand over the deposits, and get the standard how are yous. she goes into the weather, she says its been way too hot, i continue this line of thought a little bit. pretty boring but i felt like this was my do or die moment: it would have been awkward had I NOT pushed through with the interaction. ask her how her summer’s been, she says she went to vegas/edc and a bachelorette party. I ask her how it was, and what her favourite set was. (THERE IS A PATTERN HERE that I'm noticing when I ask questions: they are often too pointed questions, like “favourite”, “most”, “hardest”, “biggest” etc. no stranger is going to tell you these answers truthfully, especially if they don’t know you very well or aren’t comfortable enough with you. so I need to expand a little bit more: ask the same question, but give less restriction around the parameters of the answer.) I recovered from this one by expanding it to her two favourite sets, and she provided answers to that question. I neg-ed her on the first set, and was ok with the second so i let it slide while still qualifying the answer a bit. Then I mention I went to EDC, mentioned my favourite set…this is where I think I started to lose her. she hadn’t asked me any of the questions in return, i just sort of vomited them out. we talked a bit about the bachelorette party, how her friend at 23 was too young to get married, but it's cool if she's happy etc.
after that she did ask what I was doing for the rest of the summer. I told her I only had a month left here as I am moving. she asks me where, I tell her, she asks me why, I tell her for school. Here she stops asking questions, and I again volunteered too much information. talked about boring shit like job prospects for first year without mentioning what exactly I was going study. She pretty much dismisses me at this point with a “well I’m sure I’ll see you sometime before then” and I pick this up as my cue to exit.
PROS: I finally fucking just cemented this one and took the interaction as far as I could go, with the obvious
CONS: (major) that I volunteered too much info about myself without her asking and talked about boring job shit, which basically turned it into me talking about myself and she lost interest.
this one doesn't count as a fresh approach as it's a girl i've approached before, but it was better than my previous approaches, although definitely still needs work.
This girl was giving me tons of IOIs a couple of months ago. I beta-ignored them all and didn't really talk to her much and I missed the window of opportunity. By the time I first approached her for a conversation beyond "hello" I knew I had already blown it but I've been trying to force myself to interact just for the practice.
go up to the desk, hand over the deposits, and get the standard how are yous. she goes into the weather, she says its been way too hot, i continue this line of thought a little bit. pretty boring but i felt like this was my do or die moment: it would have been awkward had I NOT pushed through with the interaction. ask her how her summer’s been, she says she went to vegas/edc and a bachelorette party. I ask her how it was, and what her favourite set was. (THERE IS A PATTERN HERE that I'm noticing when I ask questions: they are often too pointed questions, like “favourite”, “most”, “hardest”, “biggest” etc. no stranger is going to tell you these answers truthfully, especially if they don’t know you very well or aren’t comfortable enough with you. so I need to expand a little bit more: ask the same question, but give less restriction around the parameters of the answer.) I recovered from this one by expanding it to her two favourite sets, and she provided answers to that question. I neg-ed her on the first set, and was ok with the second so i let it slide while still qualifying the answer a bit. Then I mention I went to EDC, mentioned my favourite set…this is where I think I started to lose her. she hadn’t asked me any of the questions in return, i just sort of vomited them out. we talked a bit about the bachelorette party, how her friend at 23 was too young to get married, but it's cool if she's happy etc.
after that she did ask what I was doing for the rest of the summer. I told her I only had a month left here as I am moving. she asks me where, I tell her, she asks me why, I tell her for school. Here she stops asking questions, and I again volunteered too much information. talked about boring shit like job prospects for first year without mentioning what exactly I was going study. She pretty much dismisses me at this point with a “well I’m sure I’ll see you sometime before then” and I pick this up as my cue to exit.
PROS: I finally fucking just cemented this one and took the interaction as far as I could go, with the obvious
CONS: (major) that I volunteered too much info about myself without her asking and talked about boring job shit, which basically turned it into me talking about myself and she lost interest.