Ok.
Well this is a big step. I was weary about making a post like this for a few reasons.
I don't want to clutter up the newbie game forum, and secondly I was scared of committing to the game. Once I post this thread its a commitment to begin my journey into the game world, and there is no turning back.
In a way it's like posting a fitness Instagram. It keeps you responsible and can also motivate you with positive and negative outside influence.
Let's start with a backstory, shall we?
Im 28 years old, and I live in the Northeast corner of the fine country of 'Merica. Im a Connecticut resident. There's about 3.5 million of us so that shouldn't be too specific.
I have OCD. This is a huge part of my life and will play a recurring role in a lot of posts. Im not talking about being obsessed about cleanliness or any of these things people talk about like yeah Im OCD about being organized. Nah.
Im clinically diagnosed by a therapist, OCD. We're talking about life altering, day ruining attacks. When I was younger I used to talk to myself and have a voice in my head. I got to a point where I said sorry for virtually everything, including saying sorry too much. The disease was ruining my life.
One day during sophmore year, I woke up out of bed, and due to my OCD, I had to jump off my bed and twist a certain way, and if I didn't do it right, I had to go back and do it again. Failed the first try, got back on for a second.
Second try, I smashed the ceiling dome light in the middle of the room with my left hand. I basically super mario'ed right into the motherfucker. I covered my hand and ran to the sink, I knew I fucked up but I didn't know how bad. I uncovered my hand, and after viewing the wound, I had to hold my hand over the sink and hold my head over the toilet and dry heave. I almost hurled.
I cut a 3 inch long gash in my index finger direct and straight to the bone. My skin was loose on my flesh, which was severed clean and opened up. I never knew how much muscle was actually on a finger until that day. My blood was pouring out of a vein with my heartbeat, never stopping but shooting further then lower in tune with my pulse. I screamed for my parents.
I took 16 stiches. 8 in the flesh and 8 in the skin, double looped. I came millimeters, I mean millimeters from severing my index finger tendon that runs over my knuckle. I was told I would need to go to physical therapy to re learn how to use my finger. It was immobile for sometime. I never took the therapy. The finger is not a big deal in my day to day life at this point aside from a gnarly long ass scar that I get to make up cool stories about because no one, absolutely no one knows the truth.
This was the turning point in my life with OCD. I decided not to let it control my entire existence. I ignored the urges, and they got less and less urgent... it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. At this point, OCD now affects me by not being able to let go of things and thoughts which are negative to me and my self esteem. It's not as bad as it was, and I'm still getting better with it, but it does haunt me.
Now to the women.
Shit man, before January of this year, I had a notch count of 5 at 27 years old, and 1 wasn't even a true finish. Between my sheltered life and my OCD, I made it out of highschool a kissless virgin. I kissed a girl in private school but that was so young I don't even count it. There were girls interested in me, and I was scared to talk to them. I was scared to kiss a girl that I knew was into me. I was a mess. My self confidence was shit. I over thought and over analyzed everything.
Landed in an LTR at 22. Moved in with the chick. Second bang, really first true one. OCD killed my first bang with a hot Puerto Rican. Dumped her. Felt like an old man at 22, was thinking, ok we moved in, whats next? Get married? No way. Not ready. Broke my heart to dump her but it was the best thing I ever did. I almost got buried there.
Landed a good job that gave me a career since I never went to college and was working dead end jobs. That job turned me into a man. I got to travel around the world, and to this day, I have been to 6 countries, just guessing off the top of my head. I honestly think its more. However, I never took advantage of these opportunities bang wise. I hooked up with a girl in Singapore once, but that was LTR oneitis again. It was a good experience though, almost movie like. I had a few more LTRish relationships, ending with one girl I legit fell in love with. My cousins best friend. I travelled during the relationship to singapore, posted a pic of my old singapore flame on Facebook during a "just friends meeting" which it really was, and passed up banging 3 chicks on that trip.
I came back to the states and she ignored me over that facebook picture. Super, duper regret. She bombed the fuck out of me, and I took it really hard. This was another pivotal life event for me. I was 24. I decided it was time to work out.
My height and weight have always been a sore spot for me. Im 5 foot 7 inch, no doubt due to my Puerto Rican mixed heritage. At 24 I was 135 lbs. Dainty. I started with P90X for a few months, got nowhere, and finally got over my anxiety of joining a gym and did it. I hit it hard, hard as fuck for 3 years. I gained 40 lbs at my heaviest, but I was surely a little chubby. I put massive amounts of weight on all my lifts. People who haven't seen me for years are shocked when we meet.
Sadly, a streak of bad luck hit me during that time. During those 3 years, between my inability to make the first move, and just pure bad luck, I managed to be completely sexless. Since this post is like 3 chapters long, I wont go into all the missed changes. I would say I screwed up or life took away about 7 potential bangs. I had one move to Korea. One get too drunk and throw up for 2 hours.... insane. I have a running joke that universe plots against my penis.
I moved back home at 24 for financial reasons. This also is NOT helping at all.
Fast forward to today. I've been in china on a business trip since Jan. I went back to the states for one week since then. First 4 months I worked 7 days a week for the most part. I convinced myself the english barrier was too large and the culture not well suited for fucking locally. I do work 55-70 hours every week, and it is a huge deal. But I did have small amounts of time to invest. I now take sundays off which helps.
We took a trip to macau to celebrate a milestone in the project before I went back to US for a week. I got a little drunk. I banged a filipina hooker. I didn't have time, I knew I was coming back, and fuck, 3.5 years of no sex will do crazy shit to you. My self esteem had dropped to all time lows. I actually HATED and AVOIDED women at this point. I fucking railed that bitch. Then I got hooked on hookers.
I fucked 2 more of them, 3 times each. Another Filipina (Im a sucker for them) and a hot ass Indonesian. Each one hotter than the last. I picked up the second ones phone number, and the thirds. I caught oneitis with the second one and she fucked with me. Thats when I discovered this forum. I forgot what google search brought me here. But I read and started reading and haven't stopped since. I tried game techniques on the third chick, just for fun. Now she's hooked on me.
I'm not condoning P4P here, I know its frowned upon and a bannable offense. I only mention it due to the relevance with my story. Anyone who has read this far has to agree, while I did overdo it slightly, it was completely justified. I needed to get back on the horse. I recently told the Indonesian chick I'm done paying for sex. I've got to work on me.
It's time for me to earn a China flag, and carry this momentum back to the USA and follow through.
Let me also say this, once I get past my initial anxiety with a woman, and it comes to kissing, and fucking, I am the fucking man. I have supreme confidence in my banging repertoire, I truly and honestly believe to a fault there are very, very few men who can rival my bedroom skills. This has been confirmed for me a few times. I don't care what you say or what you think. I am the fucking man. I don't consider it a good night unless the girl has come more than 3 times. Once I get the kiss, it's a wrap. If I can kiss a girl in isolation, the bang is right around the corner.
I need to apply this thinking in prebang.
Im going to start posting my approaches and experiences, which are now in China, and will then be in the philippines hopefully after this trip, and continue on to America. They are too long winded and I like to set a good story, I will clog up the players log thread and approach thread if I start posting there. This will also keep me motivated to keep going in my game.
It's time to change my life, before I die an old man with regrets.
I will post up a few of my encounters here that I have posted in other threads, and will continue to post here. 3 approaches a day will probably not happen with my job the way its setup right now, but I will throw shit up as it happens.
Well this is a big step. I was weary about making a post like this for a few reasons.
I don't want to clutter up the newbie game forum, and secondly I was scared of committing to the game. Once I post this thread its a commitment to begin my journey into the game world, and there is no turning back.
In a way it's like posting a fitness Instagram. It keeps you responsible and can also motivate you with positive and negative outside influence.
Let's start with a backstory, shall we?
Im 28 years old, and I live in the Northeast corner of the fine country of 'Merica. Im a Connecticut resident. There's about 3.5 million of us so that shouldn't be too specific.
I have OCD. This is a huge part of my life and will play a recurring role in a lot of posts. Im not talking about being obsessed about cleanliness or any of these things people talk about like yeah Im OCD about being organized. Nah.
Im clinically diagnosed by a therapist, OCD. We're talking about life altering, day ruining attacks. When I was younger I used to talk to myself and have a voice in my head. I got to a point where I said sorry for virtually everything, including saying sorry too much. The disease was ruining my life.
One day during sophmore year, I woke up out of bed, and due to my OCD, I had to jump off my bed and twist a certain way, and if I didn't do it right, I had to go back and do it again. Failed the first try, got back on for a second.
Second try, I smashed the ceiling dome light in the middle of the room with my left hand. I basically super mario'ed right into the motherfucker. I covered my hand and ran to the sink, I knew I fucked up but I didn't know how bad. I uncovered my hand, and after viewing the wound, I had to hold my hand over the sink and hold my head over the toilet and dry heave. I almost hurled.
I cut a 3 inch long gash in my index finger direct and straight to the bone. My skin was loose on my flesh, which was severed clean and opened up. I never knew how much muscle was actually on a finger until that day. My blood was pouring out of a vein with my heartbeat, never stopping but shooting further then lower in tune with my pulse. I screamed for my parents.
I took 16 stiches. 8 in the flesh and 8 in the skin, double looped. I came millimeters, I mean millimeters from severing my index finger tendon that runs over my knuckle. I was told I would need to go to physical therapy to re learn how to use my finger. It was immobile for sometime. I never took the therapy. The finger is not a big deal in my day to day life at this point aside from a gnarly long ass scar that I get to make up cool stories about because no one, absolutely no one knows the truth.
This was the turning point in my life with OCD. I decided not to let it control my entire existence. I ignored the urges, and they got less and less urgent... it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. At this point, OCD now affects me by not being able to let go of things and thoughts which are negative to me and my self esteem. It's not as bad as it was, and I'm still getting better with it, but it does haunt me.
Now to the women.
Shit man, before January of this year, I had a notch count of 5 at 27 years old, and 1 wasn't even a true finish. Between my sheltered life and my OCD, I made it out of highschool a kissless virgin. I kissed a girl in private school but that was so young I don't even count it. There were girls interested in me, and I was scared to talk to them. I was scared to kiss a girl that I knew was into me. I was a mess. My self confidence was shit. I over thought and over analyzed everything.
Landed in an LTR at 22. Moved in with the chick. Second bang, really first true one. OCD killed my first bang with a hot Puerto Rican. Dumped her. Felt like an old man at 22, was thinking, ok we moved in, whats next? Get married? No way. Not ready. Broke my heart to dump her but it was the best thing I ever did. I almost got buried there.
Landed a good job that gave me a career since I never went to college and was working dead end jobs. That job turned me into a man. I got to travel around the world, and to this day, I have been to 6 countries, just guessing off the top of my head. I honestly think its more. However, I never took advantage of these opportunities bang wise. I hooked up with a girl in Singapore once, but that was LTR oneitis again. It was a good experience though, almost movie like. I had a few more LTRish relationships, ending with one girl I legit fell in love with. My cousins best friend. I travelled during the relationship to singapore, posted a pic of my old singapore flame on Facebook during a "just friends meeting" which it really was, and passed up banging 3 chicks on that trip.
I came back to the states and she ignored me over that facebook picture. Super, duper regret. She bombed the fuck out of me, and I took it really hard. This was another pivotal life event for me. I was 24. I decided it was time to work out.
My height and weight have always been a sore spot for me. Im 5 foot 7 inch, no doubt due to my Puerto Rican mixed heritage. At 24 I was 135 lbs. Dainty. I started with P90X for a few months, got nowhere, and finally got over my anxiety of joining a gym and did it. I hit it hard, hard as fuck for 3 years. I gained 40 lbs at my heaviest, but I was surely a little chubby. I put massive amounts of weight on all my lifts. People who haven't seen me for years are shocked when we meet.
Sadly, a streak of bad luck hit me during that time. During those 3 years, between my inability to make the first move, and just pure bad luck, I managed to be completely sexless. Since this post is like 3 chapters long, I wont go into all the missed changes. I would say I screwed up or life took away about 7 potential bangs. I had one move to Korea. One get too drunk and throw up for 2 hours.... insane. I have a running joke that universe plots against my penis.
I moved back home at 24 for financial reasons. This also is NOT helping at all.
Fast forward to today. I've been in china on a business trip since Jan. I went back to the states for one week since then. First 4 months I worked 7 days a week for the most part. I convinced myself the english barrier was too large and the culture not well suited for fucking locally. I do work 55-70 hours every week, and it is a huge deal. But I did have small amounts of time to invest. I now take sundays off which helps.
We took a trip to macau to celebrate a milestone in the project before I went back to US for a week. I got a little drunk. I banged a filipina hooker. I didn't have time, I knew I was coming back, and fuck, 3.5 years of no sex will do crazy shit to you. My self esteem had dropped to all time lows. I actually HATED and AVOIDED women at this point. I fucking railed that bitch. Then I got hooked on hookers.
I fucked 2 more of them, 3 times each. Another Filipina (Im a sucker for them) and a hot ass Indonesian. Each one hotter than the last. I picked up the second ones phone number, and the thirds. I caught oneitis with the second one and she fucked with me. Thats when I discovered this forum. I forgot what google search brought me here. But I read and started reading and haven't stopped since. I tried game techniques on the third chick, just for fun. Now she's hooked on me.
I'm not condoning P4P here, I know its frowned upon and a bannable offense. I only mention it due to the relevance with my story. Anyone who has read this far has to agree, while I did overdo it slightly, it was completely justified. I needed to get back on the horse. I recently told the Indonesian chick I'm done paying for sex. I've got to work on me.
It's time for me to earn a China flag, and carry this momentum back to the USA and follow through.
Let me also say this, once I get past my initial anxiety with a woman, and it comes to kissing, and fucking, I am the fucking man. I have supreme confidence in my banging repertoire, I truly and honestly believe to a fault there are very, very few men who can rival my bedroom skills. This has been confirmed for me a few times. I don't care what you say or what you think. I am the fucking man. I don't consider it a good night unless the girl has come more than 3 times. Once I get the kiss, it's a wrap. If I can kiss a girl in isolation, the bang is right around the corner.
I need to apply this thinking in prebang.
Im going to start posting my approaches and experiences, which are now in China, and will then be in the philippines hopefully after this trip, and continue on to America. They are too long winded and I like to set a good story, I will clog up the players log thread and approach thread if I start posting there. This will also keep me motivated to keep going in my game.
It's time to change my life, before I die an old man with regrets.
I will post up a few of my encounters here that I have posted in other threads, and will continue to post here. 3 approaches a day will probably not happen with my job the way its setup right now, but I will throw shit up as it happens.