Report - 7 weeks in Peru, 2015
Below I'll provide a report of my experiences in Peru, and in a subsequent post, I'll put together a general guide that will help you make the most of your stay there.
-----------------------
Cities visited: Lima, Callao, Punta Hermosa, Paracas, Huacachina, Nazca, Cusco, Aguas Calientes
$ Spent: Approx $5k.
About me: 5'9" late 20s, white, dark hair w/green eyes (if that is important).
Still fairly new to game. Got into it while living in the cellulite-laden hellscape of Washington, DC. Last fall I relocated to New England just in time for another long, brutal "arctic blast" winter. I had just begun dipping my toes in the freelancer pond, I was making my own hours but the weather was horrible and I had no desire to go out. Got a lot of work done, made some $, but it was a long, shitty dry spell.
I had a few grand saved up and wanted to spend a some time aboard in a place that met the following criteria:
-A place where I could learn some Spanish
-bang lots of women
-see cool archeological/historical stuff
-try ayahuasca
-cheap
During my research both on and off RVF, Peru was the only country that consistently checked all those boxes, so the choice was obvious.
The Arrival, Weeks 1-2
I touch down in Lima at around 10:45 on a wednesday night. My plan was to stay at a hostel for a few nights and then find an apartment in Miraflores or Barranco. I booked a few nights at Flying Dog Hostel right on Kennedy park and requested that they send a taxi to pick me up. I look around for probably 15 minutes. No driver holding a sign with my name. I just get a random cabbie to drive me in town for 75 soles- about 25 bucks, which I later found out was a ripoff but I didn't know any better and I was exhausted so I probably wouldn't have cared if I did.
Flying Dog has three locations in Miraflores, all of which are adjacent to Kennedy Park. I stayed at the one next to the arcade and Kirko Chicken on by the southwest corner of the park. There was a lot of construction going on so the road was open only to pedestrian traffic. On paper, the logistics were great- I had a private room, a bar in the hostel, and it was a stone's throw a way from major nightlife spots. In practice however this place leaves a lot to be desired.
The bar closes at 11pm, the wifi craps out constantly and to top it all off, the private rooms are RIGHT NEXT to the front desk. No way to sneak girls in without anyone noticing. I did meet some real characters at the bar though- an English guy in his 50s working at the bar who use to be a tree doctor in Hollywood, FL and some Indian-looking dude from the US who was down here "hidin' from the ex-wife", who went on to claim he was a coke supplier for dealers in Chicago, and was so drunk he began breaking down his whole operation in elaborate detail for anyone who would listen. I was about 75% convinced he was telling the truth. I left this place after a few nights. Verdict: Do not stay here. (I think the bar at the other location on Ernesto Diez Canseco stays open later but I did not go there)
On Saturday I head out solo around 11pm to Pizza Street. I begin the evening at place called "The Olde Pub"- a crappy, very touristy English pub on the far end of the street. I don't remember how much the beers were but I felt like I was paying too much.
I begin chatting with some bald dude who was watching soccer and it turns out he's from DC. We began shooting the shit over life in Dork Central and eventually when it was time for the next round, we spot two chicks standing nearby. This guy was a little odd and had no game and there was no discussion of who was going after what girl. He clumsily begins talking to the cuter one, a mestiza girl in a red dress and leaves me with her chubby friend. Thanks, dick.
Chubby girl was was Peruvian by birth but lived in Florida and was here visiting her friend (the hotter one). I asked her at one point what she missed about Miami and I shit you not, she responds with "IHOP. I looove IHOP," Then begins breaking down all the different toppings she loves, and sometimes she's in a french toast mood, other days she's "all about the Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity", all while I stand there biting the insides of my cheeks trying not to laugh. The jokes just wrote themselves.
Bald guy was not getting anywhere with the hotter girl and he eventually goes to bathroom which took him like 30 minutes. I start chatting up the other girl. She was a lawyer, spoke good english and did not have the cunty attitude female lawyers often have back the States. We clicked pretty well right away. Eventually bald dude returns and we all bounce to a club called Sabor Peruano a few doors down. This place plays a lot of electronic music then seems to shift toward latin/reggeton music as the night goes on. This was the first time I heard "El Taxi" in Peru, which I would proceed to hear about 57 times a day for the duration of my stay.
Almost immediately after arriving, bald dude says he needs to leave. Never saw him again. After that, another friend of the girls shows up, a slammin' hot Japanese-Peruvian girl. I thought about going after her but I thought "no, this other one likes, you, stick with the sure thing". It would end up being the right choice.
After dancing for a bit we all take a taxi to Barranco and check out a few discos there. I think we went into Hypnosis- I had failed to pace myself and was pretty drunk- and my girl is making out with me and keeps sticking her hand down my pants trying to jerk me off on the dance floor. The floor was crowded so no one took notice at first except the chubby friend. When this started happening she left and sat down and sulked pretended since she knew there was no chance of her getting any dick from me. (Fortunately for her she eventually met a nice Nigerian man who will reappear in the story later on) Eventually we left and went back to Miraflores. I couldn't bring her into the hostel but I got contact info and left.
-------
The next morning I announce on the meet up sub forum that I'm in Lima and Cr33pn responds. We meet up for drinks chilled for a bit and he helped me find some better places to stay. Cr33pn is a great dude, definitely meet up with him if you get the chance. Upon his recommendation I went with Kokopelli Hostel on Calle Berlin, about two blocks away from the park. This is where things really started to take off.
I had done some pipelining on Badoo and I had a lot of responses, but most of the girls on badoo are weird, flaky or unattractive, so I switched to Tinder. I had never used Tinder before this trip but let me tell you- it is like fishing with dynamite in Lima. I used it before bed and woke up and had something like 35 matches. I basically used the same script with all of them- "Hola, que tal...blah blah...hablas inglies? Tienes Whatsapp?" Once you connect on whatsapp, you set up a date from there. I spent sunday nursing my hangover and I set up a date for monday night.
I thought I had everything sorted out perfectly. I set up a date at Houlihan's, an Irish bar located directly below Kokopelli. Booked a private room in the hostel- the bar on the rooftop stays open late, so I can just bring her in and say we're going to the bar. Move over to the room, have some wine, and bam...no fuss, no muss.
But we make plans...and God laughs. When it came time to go upstairs, she was nervous. She was afraid of "getting in trouble" since they made a copy of her ID when she checked in (you're not supposed to bring guests to your room- but they don't exactly keep an eye on your once you're in). This girl was not the brightest bulb in the box...I tell her to chill because "If we get caught, I'm sleeping on the street, you just get asked to leave." But to no avail- she would not come back to the room. Just when I think this night has been a waste she says "we can go...to hotel...".
We end up checking into a sleazy love motel a few blocks north of Kennedy Park. Cost about $23. No LMR, we jumped right into it. She was not very exciting in bed but I was happy to get the flag.![[Image: banana.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/banana.gif)
A couple days later I set up a date with the lawyer girl from saturday. We meet up at Ayahuasca in Barranco. This has got to be one of the coolest venues in Lima; its so big and different areas of the place have different feel to them. The front bar is busy and lively while other rooms and the huge back porch/patio have a more chill lounge-vibe to them. Perfect date venue. I probably didn't need to do this but I a room in the La Quinta de Allison hotel down the road for 20 bucks to prevent logistics from cockblocking me. After a long enjoyable evening I eventually got her back to the hotel and got the +2. She was a freak in bed. Much better than the first girl. I eventually would end up in a mini-relationship with this one.
-------
Took it easy for a few days and decided to go out again on friday night. I texted Cr33pn but because he was sick I decided to fly solo again. Since Ye Olde Pub had treated me so well last time I decide to start the evening there again. I strike up a chat with an Peruvian-American guy, a chef from NYC who was here for a few nights before going off to Iquitos to study cooking techniques in the jungle. He bought the next round and then another guy joined us, US Navy dude who bought another round. Then I got one....this went on for a while.
We were all having a great time shooting the shit and joking around when suddenly a brawl breaks out in front of the bar. Some 60-something Canadian or American guy has a grip on some local guys shirt and is delivering brutal body shots, shouting "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKIN' TOUCH ME!!!" until the bouncers broke it up. The truly stunning thing to me was after the fight, both guys just went to different corners of the bar and business resumed as if nothing had happened. (the old man's punches, while vicious, did not seem to have done much damage). The security didn't even make them leave.
I could not help but think that if this happened in the US, both those guys would be sitting on the curb in handcuffs, in debt for legal defenses, fired from the jobs, etc...the consequences of a drunken misunderstanding and scuffle in bar would have echoed into their lives for years to come. In Peru? A simple "break it up" from a few burly guys and that was it. The end. No cops, lawsuits, nothing. There are times when I think we can learn a thing or two from these "backward" countries to the south.
We bar-hopped for a bit, including a pit stop at the notorious Tequila Rock. 40 soles for entrance plus 1 drink. Inside you are greeted to a wondrous sight; wall to wall, blazing hot Colombianas...unfortunately what you've heard about this place is true- every single one is a prostitute. The Chef and I did not sample their services but the Navy guy seemed to have no objection and invited an attractive black girl to come back with us to Pizza Street. After listing to his stories from Thailand and the Philippines I strongly suspect this was not the first time he'd done this.
We returned to Sabor Peruano where I met up with a girl I'd been talking with on whatsapp. Chef decided to call it a night and the Seaman was busy with his mistress-for-hire so I bid them adieu and me and my girl went back to La Quinta in Barrano where I had relocated.
Girl #3 had nice big tits and made a lot of noise, haha. After we finished the second time though, suddenly the heavy drinking caught up with me and I bolted to the bathroom to puke. Apparently she found this off-putting because she started telling me some story about why she needs to leave shortly after. I said, "fine whatever, I'll call you." I never did. I should have.
The next morning I wake up naked and feeling like I had been hit by a fucking Mack Truck. My head was pounding and I was covered in sweat from the lack of air circulation in my room. The room was a disaster; clothes strewn about, bags knocked over. I stumble to bathroom and see that I hadn't quite made it to toilet in time and there was a bit of a mess waiting for me in the sink.
I turn the faucet on to wash away the evidence and collapse back on the bed. Reflecting on the week's events, I felt simultaneously ashamed of my current state but proud overall. I had gone from a frigid, miserable dry spell to 3 new girls in one week. I smiled then shambled off to Metro (a grocery store) to buy some breakfast (or lunch, rather) and aspirin.
A few days earlier Cr33pn sent me Bounce's digits. We had not met yet, but we had made tentative plans to meet later that night. I knew my body couldn't take another night punishment so I texted him saying we needed to reschedule.
"Ok no prob" he writes. "If you feel better, let me know. I think I'm gonna get some blow"![[Image: lol.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/lol.gif)
Coming in Part 2: Food poisoning, beaches, bribing the cops, "alien" skulls, blindness and more! Stay tuned!
Below I'll provide a report of my experiences in Peru, and in a subsequent post, I'll put together a general guide that will help you make the most of your stay there.
-----------------------
Cities visited: Lima, Callao, Punta Hermosa, Paracas, Huacachina, Nazca, Cusco, Aguas Calientes
$ Spent: Approx $5k.
About me: 5'9" late 20s, white, dark hair w/green eyes (if that is important).
Still fairly new to game. Got into it while living in the cellulite-laden hellscape of Washington, DC. Last fall I relocated to New England just in time for another long, brutal "arctic blast" winter. I had just begun dipping my toes in the freelancer pond, I was making my own hours but the weather was horrible and I had no desire to go out. Got a lot of work done, made some $, but it was a long, shitty dry spell.
I had a few grand saved up and wanted to spend a some time aboard in a place that met the following criteria:
-A place where I could learn some Spanish
-bang lots of women
-see cool archeological/historical stuff
-try ayahuasca
-cheap
During my research both on and off RVF, Peru was the only country that consistently checked all those boxes, so the choice was obvious.
The Arrival, Weeks 1-2
I touch down in Lima at around 10:45 on a wednesday night. My plan was to stay at a hostel for a few nights and then find an apartment in Miraflores or Barranco. I booked a few nights at Flying Dog Hostel right on Kennedy park and requested that they send a taxi to pick me up. I look around for probably 15 minutes. No driver holding a sign with my name. I just get a random cabbie to drive me in town for 75 soles- about 25 bucks, which I later found out was a ripoff but I didn't know any better and I was exhausted so I probably wouldn't have cared if I did.
Flying Dog has three locations in Miraflores, all of which are adjacent to Kennedy Park. I stayed at the one next to the arcade and Kirko Chicken on by the southwest corner of the park. There was a lot of construction going on so the road was open only to pedestrian traffic. On paper, the logistics were great- I had a private room, a bar in the hostel, and it was a stone's throw a way from major nightlife spots. In practice however this place leaves a lot to be desired.
The bar closes at 11pm, the wifi craps out constantly and to top it all off, the private rooms are RIGHT NEXT to the front desk. No way to sneak girls in without anyone noticing. I did meet some real characters at the bar though- an English guy in his 50s working at the bar who use to be a tree doctor in Hollywood, FL and some Indian-looking dude from the US who was down here "hidin' from the ex-wife", who went on to claim he was a coke supplier for dealers in Chicago, and was so drunk he began breaking down his whole operation in elaborate detail for anyone who would listen. I was about 75% convinced he was telling the truth. I left this place after a few nights. Verdict: Do not stay here. (I think the bar at the other location on Ernesto Diez Canseco stays open later but I did not go there)
On Saturday I head out solo around 11pm to Pizza Street. I begin the evening at place called "The Olde Pub"- a crappy, very touristy English pub on the far end of the street. I don't remember how much the beers were but I felt like I was paying too much.
I begin chatting with some bald dude who was watching soccer and it turns out he's from DC. We began shooting the shit over life in Dork Central and eventually when it was time for the next round, we spot two chicks standing nearby. This guy was a little odd and had no game and there was no discussion of who was going after what girl. He clumsily begins talking to the cuter one, a mestiza girl in a red dress and leaves me with her chubby friend. Thanks, dick.
Chubby girl was was Peruvian by birth but lived in Florida and was here visiting her friend (the hotter one). I asked her at one point what she missed about Miami and I shit you not, she responds with "IHOP. I looove IHOP," Then begins breaking down all the different toppings she loves, and sometimes she's in a french toast mood, other days she's "all about the Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity", all while I stand there biting the insides of my cheeks trying not to laugh. The jokes just wrote themselves.
Bald guy was not getting anywhere with the hotter girl and he eventually goes to bathroom which took him like 30 minutes. I start chatting up the other girl. She was a lawyer, spoke good english and did not have the cunty attitude female lawyers often have back the States. We clicked pretty well right away. Eventually bald dude returns and we all bounce to a club called Sabor Peruano a few doors down. This place plays a lot of electronic music then seems to shift toward latin/reggeton music as the night goes on. This was the first time I heard "El Taxi" in Peru, which I would proceed to hear about 57 times a day for the duration of my stay.
Almost immediately after arriving, bald dude says he needs to leave. Never saw him again. After that, another friend of the girls shows up, a slammin' hot Japanese-Peruvian girl. I thought about going after her but I thought "no, this other one likes, you, stick with the sure thing". It would end up being the right choice.
After dancing for a bit we all take a taxi to Barranco and check out a few discos there. I think we went into Hypnosis- I had failed to pace myself and was pretty drunk- and my girl is making out with me and keeps sticking her hand down my pants trying to jerk me off on the dance floor. The floor was crowded so no one took notice at first except the chubby friend. When this started happening she left and sat down and sulked pretended since she knew there was no chance of her getting any dick from me. (Fortunately for her she eventually met a nice Nigerian man who will reappear in the story later on) Eventually we left and went back to Miraflores. I couldn't bring her into the hostel but I got contact info and left.
-------
The next morning I announce on the meet up sub forum that I'm in Lima and Cr33pn responds. We meet up for drinks chilled for a bit and he helped me find some better places to stay. Cr33pn is a great dude, definitely meet up with him if you get the chance. Upon his recommendation I went with Kokopelli Hostel on Calle Berlin, about two blocks away from the park. This is where things really started to take off.
I had done some pipelining on Badoo and I had a lot of responses, but most of the girls on badoo are weird, flaky or unattractive, so I switched to Tinder. I had never used Tinder before this trip but let me tell you- it is like fishing with dynamite in Lima. I used it before bed and woke up and had something like 35 matches. I basically used the same script with all of them- "Hola, que tal...blah blah...hablas inglies? Tienes Whatsapp?" Once you connect on whatsapp, you set up a date from there. I spent sunday nursing my hangover and I set up a date for monday night.
I thought I had everything sorted out perfectly. I set up a date at Houlihan's, an Irish bar located directly below Kokopelli. Booked a private room in the hostel- the bar on the rooftop stays open late, so I can just bring her in and say we're going to the bar. Move over to the room, have some wine, and bam...no fuss, no muss.
But we make plans...and God laughs. When it came time to go upstairs, she was nervous. She was afraid of "getting in trouble" since they made a copy of her ID when she checked in (you're not supposed to bring guests to your room- but they don't exactly keep an eye on your once you're in). This girl was not the brightest bulb in the box...I tell her to chill because "If we get caught, I'm sleeping on the street, you just get asked to leave." But to no avail- she would not come back to the room. Just when I think this night has been a waste she says "we can go...to hotel...".
We end up checking into a sleazy love motel a few blocks north of Kennedy Park. Cost about $23. No LMR, we jumped right into it. She was not very exciting in bed but I was happy to get the flag.
A couple days later I set up a date with the lawyer girl from saturday. We meet up at Ayahuasca in Barranco. This has got to be one of the coolest venues in Lima; its so big and different areas of the place have different feel to them. The front bar is busy and lively while other rooms and the huge back porch/patio have a more chill lounge-vibe to them. Perfect date venue. I probably didn't need to do this but I a room in the La Quinta de Allison hotel down the road for 20 bucks to prevent logistics from cockblocking me. After a long enjoyable evening I eventually got her back to the hotel and got the +2. She was a freak in bed. Much better than the first girl. I eventually would end up in a mini-relationship with this one.
-------
Took it easy for a few days and decided to go out again on friday night. I texted Cr33pn but because he was sick I decided to fly solo again. Since Ye Olde Pub had treated me so well last time I decide to start the evening there again. I strike up a chat with an Peruvian-American guy, a chef from NYC who was here for a few nights before going off to Iquitos to study cooking techniques in the jungle. He bought the next round and then another guy joined us, US Navy dude who bought another round. Then I got one....this went on for a while.
We were all having a great time shooting the shit and joking around when suddenly a brawl breaks out in front of the bar. Some 60-something Canadian or American guy has a grip on some local guys shirt and is delivering brutal body shots, shouting "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKIN' TOUCH ME!!!" until the bouncers broke it up. The truly stunning thing to me was after the fight, both guys just went to different corners of the bar and business resumed as if nothing had happened. (the old man's punches, while vicious, did not seem to have done much damage). The security didn't even make them leave.
I could not help but think that if this happened in the US, both those guys would be sitting on the curb in handcuffs, in debt for legal defenses, fired from the jobs, etc...the consequences of a drunken misunderstanding and scuffle in bar would have echoed into their lives for years to come. In Peru? A simple "break it up" from a few burly guys and that was it. The end. No cops, lawsuits, nothing. There are times when I think we can learn a thing or two from these "backward" countries to the south.
We bar-hopped for a bit, including a pit stop at the notorious Tequila Rock. 40 soles for entrance plus 1 drink. Inside you are greeted to a wondrous sight; wall to wall, blazing hot Colombianas...unfortunately what you've heard about this place is true- every single one is a prostitute. The Chef and I did not sample their services but the Navy guy seemed to have no objection and invited an attractive black girl to come back with us to Pizza Street. After listing to his stories from Thailand and the Philippines I strongly suspect this was not the first time he'd done this.
We returned to Sabor Peruano where I met up with a girl I'd been talking with on whatsapp. Chef decided to call it a night and the Seaman was busy with his mistress-for-hire so I bid them adieu and me and my girl went back to La Quinta in Barrano where I had relocated.
Girl #3 had nice big tits and made a lot of noise, haha. After we finished the second time though, suddenly the heavy drinking caught up with me and I bolted to the bathroom to puke. Apparently she found this off-putting because she started telling me some story about why she needs to leave shortly after. I said, "fine whatever, I'll call you." I never did. I should have.
The next morning I wake up naked and feeling like I had been hit by a fucking Mack Truck. My head was pounding and I was covered in sweat from the lack of air circulation in my room. The room was a disaster; clothes strewn about, bags knocked over. I stumble to bathroom and see that I hadn't quite made it to toilet in time and there was a bit of a mess waiting for me in the sink.
I turn the faucet on to wash away the evidence and collapse back on the bed. Reflecting on the week's events, I felt simultaneously ashamed of my current state but proud overall. I had gone from a frigid, miserable dry spell to 3 new girls in one week. I smiled then shambled off to Metro (a grocery store) to buy some breakfast (or lunch, rather) and aspirin.
A few days earlier Cr33pn sent me Bounce's digits. We had not met yet, but we had made tentative plans to meet later that night. I knew my body couldn't take another night punishment so I texted him saying we needed to reschedule.
"Ok no prob" he writes. "If you feel better, let me know. I think I'm gonna get some blow"
Coming in Part 2: Food poisoning, beaches, bribing the cops, "alien" skulls, blindness and more! Stay tuned!
The Peru Thread
"Feminists exist in a quantum super-state in which they are both simultaneously the victim and the aggressor." - Milo Yiannopoulos