[Akula]

(04-13-2015 05:37 AM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  

And this is a girl who actually does stuff for you. I've met so many women who have yet to grasp the roles in a give and take relationship. "Do you cook for him?" - Is met with laughter and weird looks.

Men have for so long allowed women to get away with this by not putting the foot down on simple things that these young women see it as a burden to even cook for their man. And by cooking I don't mean microwave meals.

It comes down to something else I have learned from this forum; The consequences for these women are almost non-existent. They can find another guy who would think the world of her for making meals and washing his stuff and not demand anything more.

So true. It's up to us to educate the new guys out there bc society as a whole and the media sure as hell are not doing it - they are in fact doing the opposite 24-7 and we need to keep on informing young men what the situation really is. Men need to let women know there are consequences.

(04-13-2015 11:34 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

Jariel this is by FAR one of my favorite Real Talk posts I've read from you.

It's spot on, and some men DON'T want to admit what's really going on.

I think the above is a big part of the problem - the cognitive dissonance and inability to see it for what it is. I will say that I think it's hard to sift through all the bs when it's being blasted over the airways 24-7 and men are being told they are shit, to man up, to cater to women, etc. No wonder so many guys are lost and getting mixed messages and making bad decisions.

Once I personally sort of figured it out (mostly by going abroad and living in Eastern Europe and being with lots of different women (most of whom actually wanted to be with a man, or at least thought they did)) it gave me a 10,000 foot view of how western societies are failing all of us and men in particular.

The flip side is that you can get too negative on women in general or even life (what's it all worth, all women are bad, etc.) which is self-defeating behavior and impedes personal and professional growth. I don't ever get too down on women when I'm abroad, but when I'm back home I'll admit I'm seeing all these red-flags 24-7, sensing the entitlement and lack of femininity etc. and it makes it tough to really take most of these women seriously let alone "date" them.

I just try to take it one day at a time now but also accept women for what they are and try to use the thought processes and effective "checklist" that Jariel has outlined when I approach and interact with women. This helps me to see what value they really add to my life (if any).

I personally don't expect the world of women, they are what they are in many ways, and sh*t happens that's out of your control sometimes, but having basic guidelines of what is acceptable and what is not + an understanding of how the interaction should generally play out is a great start. However, I have let a ton of women go, and sometimes I wonder if I'm being too stringent/picky with the rules I set up but then again they are there for a reason (I'm old enough now that I want to find a good mother of my child).