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Is she cheating? - Kanasukia - 10-18-2017

I’ve been with this girl for about 2.5 years now. When we met (about 3.5 years ago), she had a boyfriend but we would still hang out and she would come over all the time. We still debate who made the “first move” but I ended up eating her out the same weekend her boyfriend broke up with her. She always would say “I never do this” and I believe her just because I know who she is now and she is not extremely outgoing when it comes to men (IMO). She had been trying to break up with him for at least a month, not necessarily to get with me, but because of the way he treated her. In fact, we both waited almost a whole year before we started dating. I didn’t even want to date anyone but she did something for me that I’ve never felt with any other girl. Since then though, some sketchy ass shit has been happening, especially since about the 1~1.5 year mark.

Some background info on her:
1. She stresses really bad and is a worry wart
2. She had begun taking classes when we started dating and it has been getting harder and harder each semester.
3. She has a very guilty conscious (always apologizing for spilt milk)

So here’s when I started becoming paranoid.

1. She went on a trip with her friend to go visit her other friend at the beach for about 3 days. We spent the whole day she returned together. That night I received a text message from an obvious fake number saying “Do you know who your girlfriend has been texting?”. When I confronted her about it she started balling crying saying some random number (similar to the number that texted me) was texting her claiming to be her ex bf. She showed me screenshots of the convo and she said very little (as far as I know). I asked why she never mentioned it and she said that she knew it wasn’t him and it must’ve been someone fucking with her. Paranoia +1

2. I began noticing she brings up her ex a lot. Not necessarily in a good way, nor comparing, but she does talk about him. I also notice that she is obsessed with his new gf. I’ve seen on her Instagram and Facebook searches (through her showing me something and I would catch a glimpse), his new gf is always in recent searches. She flat out lied and said she never searches her because she is private and she doesn’t know how it was under recent, but I also know that she has searched videos on how to view private instagrams.

3. Speaking of social media, she was showing me someone on Instagram and went to the search menu and I saw that she had searched 3 variations of her ex boyfriend’s Instagram. For example, if his insta name was BOB123, I saw BOB1234, BOB321, BOB231. Again, lied to me and gave me a story I’m not buying.

4. She’s been very distant, sexually and emotionally. We barely have sex (idk if I can attribute that to school, stress, or just not having time) and she is on her phone A LOT. She just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. She’s always texting books to her friends and always on social media and Snapchat.

5. This is the most recent. She called out someone for cheating on their gf. They ended up getting drunk and started posting on her Instagram “does your bf know about your ex?”. They then started texting her saying they had screenshots of her and her ex (whether it was texts or Snapchat idk) and that they would send them to me. He began to throw out name like Nick, and Lane saying they knew something about it. I was there the whole time on the couch and she read me the entire convo between her and this guy she called out for cheating. She said, I remember vividly, “I don’t know a Nick or Lane, hahahah. He must be pulling names out of his ass. What type of name is Lane? Is that even a name? Even my best friend said that he is drunk and pulling names out of his ass”. I never got any screenshots but that could’ve been because it would’ve ruined her ex’s new relationship, but here’s the kicker. She got really mad at me one day and showed me her blocked list on instagram, and I saw that she had blocked a Lane and a Nick. She also was doing a lot of hypothetical situation shit like “if he does send you SS, it could easily be faked” etc etc

There’s a lot more small stuff but I’ve had so many red flags idk what to think and any help is appreciated. It’s been eating at me for months now and my gut says something isn’t right but I have no hard evidence to back it up besides small circumstantial shit. Any help is welcome.

Is she cheating? - Jetset - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 07:07 AM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

She always would say “I never do this” and I believe her

Bro, no. Just no.

Quote:Quote:

That night I received a text message from an obvious fake number saying “Do you know who your girlfriend has been texting?”. When I confronted her about it she started balling crying saying some random number (similar to the number that texted me) was texting her claiming to be her ex bf. She showed me screenshots of the convo and she said very little (as far as I know). I asked why she never mentioned it and she said that she knew it wasn’t him and it must’ve been someone fucking with her.

Idiot levels of drama, right here. The most obvious explanation is that she's been texting him constantly and freaked. He's probably in her phone under 'Christine' or some shit. That's where the college girl who used to clean my apartment and polish my dick as a freebie kept me so her boyfriend didn't put things together.

Quote:Quote:

I began noticing she brings up her ex a lot. Not necessarily in a good way, nor comparing, but she does talk about him. I also notice that she is obsessed with his new gf. I’ve seen on her Instagram and Facebook searches (through her showing me something and I would catch a glimpse), his new gf is always in recent searches. She flat out lied and said she never searches her because she is private and she doesn’t know how it was under recent, but I also know that she has searched videos on how to view private instagrams.

She's obsessed with her ex.

Quote:Quote:

She’s been very distant, sexually and emotionally. We barely have sex (idk if I can attribute that to school, stress, or just not having time) and she is on her phone A LOT. She just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. She’s always texting books to her friends and always on social media and Snapchat.

Forget her ex. Why are you wasting your time on a woman who doesn't keep your balls empty? Even if she's faithful, what difference does it make if she isn't fucking you, either?

Quote:Quote:

She got really mad at me one day and showed me her blocked list on instagram, and I saw that she had blocked a Lane and a Nick. She also was doing a lot of hypothetical situation shit like “if he does send you SS, it could easily be faked” etc etc

Come on, man. You know what's going on.

Quote:Quote:

There’s a lot more small stuff but I’ve had so many red flags idk what to think and any help is appreciated. It’s been eating at me for months now and my gut says something isn’t right but I have no hard evidence to back it up besides small circumstantial shit. Any help is welcome.

She's a pathological liar who doesn't bang and you don't know what to think?

Tell her you're breaking up with her because she's a pathological liar who doesn't bang. Go no contact forever.

Is she cheating? - Sam Malone - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 07:07 AM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

I’ve been with this girl for about 2.5 years now. When we met (about 3.5 years ago), she had a boyfriend but we would still hang out and she would come over all the time. We still debate who made the “first move” but I ended up eating her out the same weekend her boyfriend broke up with her. She always would say “I never do this” and I believe her just because I know who she is now and she is not extremely outgoing when it comes to men (IMO). She had been trying to break up with him for at least a month, not necessarily to get with me, but because of the way he treated her. In fact, we both waited almost a whole year before we started dating. I didn’t even want to date anyone but she did something for me that I’ve never felt with any other girl. Since then though, some sketchy ass shit has been happening, especially since about the 1~1.5 year mark.

Some background info on her:
1. She stresses really bad and is a worry wart
2. She had begun taking classes when we started dating and it has been getting harder and harder each semester.
3. She has a very guilty conscious (always apologizing for spilt milk)

So here’s when I started becoming paranoid.

1. She went on a trip with her friend to go visit her other friend at the beach for about 3 days. We spent the whole day she returned together. That night I received a text message from an obvious fake number saying “Do you know who your girlfriend has been texting?”. When I confronted her about it she started balling crying saying some random number (similar to the number that texted me) was texting her claiming to be her ex bf. She showed me screenshots of the convo and she said very little (as far as I know). I asked why she never mentioned it and she said that she knew it wasn’t him and it must’ve been someone fucking with her. Paranoia +1

2. I began noticing she brings up her ex a lot. Not necessarily in a good way, nor comparing, but she does talk about him. I also notice that she is obsessed with his new gf. I’ve seen on her Instagram and Facebook searches (through her showing me something and I would catch a glimpse), his new gf is always in recent searches. She flat out lied and said she never searches her because she is private and she doesn’t know how it was under recent, but I also know that she has searched videos on how to view private instagrams.

3. Speaking of social media, she was showing me someone on Instagram and went to the search menu and I saw that she had searched 3 variations of her ex boyfriend’s Instagram. For example, if his insta name was BOB123, I saw BOB1234, BOB321, BOB231. Again, lied to me and gave me a story I’m not buying.

4. She’s been very distant, sexually and emotionally. We barely have sex (idk if I can attribute that to school, stress, or just not having time) and she is on her phone A LOT. She just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. She’s always texting books to her friends and always on social media and Snapchat.

5. This is the most recent. She called out someone for cheating on their gf. They ended up getting drunk and started posting on her Instagram “does your bf know about your ex?”. They then started texting her saying they had screenshots of her and her ex (whether it was texts or Snapchat idk) and that they would send them to me. He began to throw out name like Nick, and Lane saying they knew something about it. I was there the whole time on the couch and she read me the entire convo between her and this guy she called out for cheating. She said, I remember vividly, “I don’t know a Nick or Lane, hahahah. He must be pulling names out of his ass. What type of name is Lane? Is that even a name? Even my best friend said that he is drunk and pulling names out of his ass”. I never got any screenshots but that could’ve been because it would’ve ruined her ex’s new relationship, but here’s the kicker. She got really mad at me one day and showed me her blocked list on instagram, and I saw that she had blocked a Lane and a Nick. She also was doing a lot of hypothetical situation shit like “if he does send you SS, it could easily be faked” etc etc

There’s a lot more small stuff but I’ve had so many red flags idk what to think and any help is appreciated. It’s been eating at me for months now and my gut says something isn’t right but I have no hard evidence to back it up besides small circumstantial shit. Any help is welcome.

All the highlighted parts are indicators that you know what needs to be done.

The blue highlighted parts are of particular interest:

- She showed me screenshots of the convo and she said very little
- It's easy enough for the sender (her) to delete just the messages she's sent. If she doesn't regularly text anything too wild or sexual, then it's easy enough for her to delete a quick picture message of her fingers spreading her snatch lips apart. Do it too many times and it looks like the person on the other end is talking to themselves.

- Even my best friend said that he is drunk and pulling names out of his ass
- Translation: "If you don't believe me then believe my friend who is just as devious as me but believe her because she's my friend and because I said so. But you can't ask her about it because she doesn't like to talk about that kind of stuff because a long time ago she had someone doing the same kind of stuff to her so you can't ask her about it because she'll get all upset and I don't want to make her angry because this is something that I have to deal with and it has nothing to do with her but I can tell you that she agrees with me but you can never bring it up to her..."

I second Jetset's diagnosis.

Eject now. Don't look back.

Is she cheating? - Kanasukia - 10-18-2017

I really wish I knew you couldn’t edit posts after 60 minutes of posting. I guess that’s what I get for posting this after waking up and having a little panic attack. Was definitely going to tidy that post up.

I should probably mention that this is my first girlfriend by choice. I’ve fucked a few girls, not 200 but enough to build my confidence to go from never approaching any stranger, let alone any girl, to not really giving a fuck. But this girl is different, I know that’s cliche, but I see value in her and I want to pursue her further. She has changed me in a good way, in ways I’ve wanted to change myself but we’re unable to do.

For Example: I have/had a horrible sleep schedule. I would sleep 12+ hours a day, most of the time from ~4:00am till ~5:00pm. I’ve been doing better myself but never able to reach my goal of going to be by about 2:30am and waking up 9:30 -10:00am. It would always be 12, or 11:30, but she has definitely helped me hit my goal at least 5-6 times a week.

Now, all of those things in the original post happened but a lot of stuff was left out.

Is she cheating? - CleanSlate - 10-18-2017

TL;DR: if you have to ask whether she is cheating, she probably is.

Is she cheating? - Baphomet - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 09:16 AM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

I really wish I knew you couldn’t edit posts after 60 minutes of posting. I guess that’s what I get for posting this after waking up and having a little panic attack. Was definitely going to tidy that post up.

I should probably mention that this is my first girlfriend by choice. I’ve fucked a few girls, not 200 but enough to build my confidence to go from never approaching any stranger, let alone any girl, to not really giving a fuck. But this girl is different, I know that’s cliche, but I see value in her and I want to pursue her further. She has changed me in a good way, in ways I’ve wanted to change myself but we’re unable to do.


Now, all of those things in the original post happened but a lot of stuff was left out.

Which of those things that were left out will change the fact that she is unfaithful?

Is she cheating? - ProGambler - 10-18-2017

Alpha widowed bro. Wants her ex back because he treated her bad.

Is she cheating? - Jetset - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 09:16 AM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

I should probably mention that this is my first girlfriend by choice. I’ve fucked a few girls, not 200 but enough to build my confidence to go from never approaching any stranger, let alone any girl, to not really giving a fuck. But this girl is different, I know that’s cliche, but I see value in her and I want to pursue her further. She has changed me in a good way, in ways I’ve wanted to change myself but we’re unable to do.

For Example: I have/had a horrible sleep schedule. I would sleep 12+ hours a day, most of the time from ~4:00am till ~5:00pm. I’ve been doing better myself but never able to reach my goal of going to be by about 2:30am and waking up 9:30 -10:00am. It would always be 12, or 11:30, but she has definitely helped me hit my goal at least 5-6 times a week.

I get it. She makes you feel good about yourself sometimes. All trainwreck women do, in waves, between alternating waves of destroying your life. Tide comes in, tide goes out. Just when you're about to lose your shit and dropkick them out of your house, they catch on and knock it off until you've dried out a little and are ready to absorb more craziness like a tampon.

None of this is acceptable in an LTR. Not even from a woman who sucks your cock daily without being told. She is lying to you about shady interactions with other men, chronically and habitually, which is evidence of extreme disrespect. She isn't banging you, which is job #1. She belongs on the curb with the rest of the stuff you threw in the trash because it wasn't useful and was just taking up space in your home. She isn't different, she's a neurotic hoe who brings drama. She's obviously wrecking you psychologically, since you're open with us about your own feelings of paranoia and panic. How is this worth it?

You shouldn't need a woman to tell you how to sleep. First rule is always going to be that you need to build a cool life that you enjoy regardless of any woman. She is a guest who is allowed to participate in your fun, masculine frame because she adds value to your life, not your mother who tells you what to do and imposes her anxiety-ridden mess of a frame on you. Maybe you don't care about the disrespect of her chronic dishonesty while she helps her ex jerk off to her tit pics (at least), but why are you even in an exclusive relationship with her? She spills all her bullshit all over you while she worries about her ex's dick and ignores yours.

Either way, you won't listen, because people who post these threads on the Newbie Forum never do. It's clear that you want us to justify this and you want us to tell you it all makes sense. We won't enable you. She doesn't even deserve courtesy, here. If my LTR told me a man's name sounded fake and then I saw she had that man blocked on her phone, I'd blast on her face one last time before I cut her off without bothering with an explanation.

Is she cheating? - Vaun - 10-18-2017

Ghost her unapologetically and get her completely out of your life today. Keeping a rotten person in your life like this will prevent your future success in life.

Ghost cold, and unapologetic. Today.

Is she cheating? - Dalaran1991 - 10-18-2017

You were here monkey branch, what did you expect?

Honestly never LTR up a girl who just got out of a relationship. Great for plating / spinning but horrible for LTR.

It seems clear to me and everyone else here that you already know the answer. She is cheating, and I bet not just with her ex. You know this too but there's part of the protector in you who is just trying to deny it. Which is natural, the girl who plays weak and unapologetic actually has the best "save a ho" game because it makes it easier to guilt trip you later. I speak from experience (homely looking girl, Church every Sunday, always freak out apologize crying if she think she doesnt please me, etc.)

2.5 years is a long time, sorry about it bro. I hate to say it but I doubt she "loved" you all this time. Women can't handle being alone and they settle, and sometimes "alpha fucks alpha bux" too.

Have you been fucking girls on the side? I hope it's the case. In that case ghost her COLD. DO NOT LET HER GUILT TRIP YOU. She will cry her heart out, threaten suicide or similar shit, anything to make her a victim. Unless she has another guy to branch to like you 2.5 years ago "she had a boyfriend but we would still hang out and she would come over all the time. We still debate who made the “first move” but I ended up eating her out the same weekend her boyfriend broke up with her."

Avoid contact. Dont pick up the phone or answer text or anything. Fuck another girl if you feel stressed. Hope you dont live with her else it's way above my pay grade to give advice.

I repeat, DONT LET HER GUILT TRIP YOU. You've been strung along for 2.5 years, that's enough. No, she will not die, she is not weak like she appears to be, she will not do whatever xyz.

You've been lied to long enough brother. Ditch that lying bitch ASAP.

Unless you are also weak like her, and can't stand being alone, then yeah keep the girl.

Is she cheating? - Vaun - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 09:16 AM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

I should probably mention that this is my first girlfriend by choice. I’ve fucked a few girls, not 200 but enough to build my confidence to go from never approaching any stranger, let alone any girl, to not really giving a fuck. But this girl is different, I know that’s cliche, but I see value in her and I want to pursue her further. She has changed me in a good way, in ways I’ve wanted to change myself but we’re unable to do.

For Example: I have/had a horrible sleep schedule. I would sleep 12+ hours a day, most of the time from ~4:00am till ~5:00pm. I’ve been doing better myself but never able to reach my goal of going to be by about 2:30am and waking up 9:30 -10:00am. It would always be 12, or 11:30, but she has definitely helped me hit my goal at least 5-6 times a week.

Now, all of those things in the original post happened but a lot of stuff was left out.

This is your own male hamster, rationalizing why this girl is "special" You are the one who changed your sleep schedule, not her. Your self esteem is so badly damaged now from her, that you are ascribing way too much credit to this little immature girl. And what value does she really bring to your life? She doesn't have sex with you or give you the proper love and affection a woman should bring a man, so instead does she dress you in the morning, give you back rubs every day, tell everyone how wonderful you are, pay your way, is she extraordinarily hot, have a wealthy family?? Why is this girl so good?

You are probably rationalizing why she doesn't like you with "school, work, stress", could it be that she has very low interest in you? A woman in love puts everything else aside for her man and makes you her top priority, i.e., she wont allow herself to screw it up with you. Or its just as simple as this relationship has run its course, and you both should simply just move on. Maybe you are now just convenient window dressing and she is too afraid to break up? Or that she is using you for "the value" you bring to her? What is that "value?" Do you take her out, spend money on her, pay her rent, buy her things?

Often times when a girl is too afraid to break up, she will treat her man like dirt long enough, to force him to be the one to do it. Sounds like you have a good opportunity now to break this off for good.

Keeping a girl like this in your life will destroy your self worth, and self esteem as a man. The only way to regain it is by dropping her cold. Full on ghost. She is actively humiliating you in front of her friends, your friends, her exes and anyone else that probably comes into contact with her. Maybe you like the abuse and feel you dont deserve better in life. You would be surprised by how many men who do and stay in these situations.

I realize shes your first, so lesson's learned, and on to the next ones. Until you go out and seek what you want, will you only find something better.

Is she cheating? - Latan - 10-18-2017

OP, time to eject from this unhealthy relationship.
Find a girl you wants to fuck you and doesn't talk about her ex, be happy.

Is she cheating? - Kanasukia - 10-18-2017

I don’t fuck girls in the side when I’m in a relationship. My father did that and it’s just something I told myself I wouldn’t do. If I’m in a relationship I’m going to be loyal until you break that loyalty.

As for all the responses, I really appreciate everyone giving their feedback and taking the time to read. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision with no hard evidence. I always try to leave suspicion, paranoia, and skepticism at the door without hard evidence (like the so called screenshots I never got). She really means a lot to me, and I can definitely see a future with her. It was different ever since we first spoke to each other, unlike any other girl I’ve met or fucked. She pushes me to be a better me and no, not in an authoritizing way (like a mom). Everything she has helped me change are bad habits I’ve told her I have wanted to change myself. Even though we were oral fucking and then boning her the same weekend he broke up with her, it still was about 8-9 months before we started dating (which she had plenty of opportunities to go back to him, including him begging her to take him back, and getting a new gf etc etc, but she never did.). I also know that the shit she is doing in school is ridiculous. Very hard and this is her hardest semester yet. I don’t want to ruin a relationship that could last because she is bettering herself and taking 18 credit hours and working instead of fucking me every day. Honestly, she barely has time to even see her family (especially her mother who she is very close with).

I just can’t tell if I’m making something of it because I’m looking for it and trying to string together a scenario on here-say and small red flags that could be insecurities (seeing how this is my first actual girlfriend), or if she really is cheating on me. I know she can’t be doing it physically because we’re together most of the time (which still isn’t a lot since I work 40 hours a week and she is in school most of the day). I have her location too from when she came on vacation with me and she never turned it off so I know where she is and she knows it. I also have seen her best friends on Snapchat and it’s just her 3 best friends (and I know it’s their Snapchat from the usernames). Also she recently (within the last three months) got a new I-phone, and I’ve seen her recent numbers she has texted (new message and type “.” in the contact list. It doesn’t show it in order though) and no ex or weird numbers. Yeah you can delete them but I don’t think she knows how because her old phone still had her ex on the recent list (even though he wasn’t in her contacts and had that phone since she had been with him) and she has showed me and I’ve checked on my own. You would think she would’ve deleted them before if she knew how.

When the guy she called out for cheating started spouting all that shit, he was drunk as a skunk, sending text messages you would have to read at least 3 times to understand. We were both in the living room and I was able to read these messages. She was taunting him a lot to send the so called screenshots. Also, if she was cheating, why would she call someone else out for cheating knowing they have a connection to her ex? I also know that this guy she called out has been cheating on his girlfriend for years and is a pathological liar. So I can’t tell if he’s telling the truth or just trying to stir the pot because my girlfriend fucked his relationship up. Still haven’t gotten those screenshots.

I know it sounds like I’m defending her but I’m trying to look at it from both sides because I really don’t want to lose her especially if it’s on false accusation. I just wish I had something besides a gut feeling and a couple of sketchy stuff happening. I mean, what if those texts were really from one of her ex’s little bitchy friends trying to mess with her? Her responses and the person claiming to be her ex in the texts seemed to run together time wise and convo wise. Plus, why would they text me to tell me they were texting my gf? To get themselves in trouble? I mean her ex does have a gf too, that is, far as I know, were together during that time and still are. If it was really him, why would he text me, telling me to look into those texts and mess up his relationship? If he was single I would get it.

Again, I could be just rationalizing it with my inner little bitch but I would just hate to do something permanent on assumptions with nothing to back it up and look like a dumbass and lose the girl. Idk...

Driving me crazy...

Is she cheating? - Latan - 10-18-2017

Play a little game OP : read this thread, while pretending it has been written by someone you don't know.
And he's talking about a girl you don't know.
Imagine that the guy has access to other beautiful women, so if he's not happy in a relationship, he can decide to choose an other one.

What would you advise him to do?
Continue this troublesome relationship, or not?

I think we men need to do mistakes (even big ones), in order to learn and not repeat them.
If you'd advise him to stay with this girl, then stay with her.
Do your best in this relationship to make it work (but don't marry her! So many red flags here that I had to add this), see where it leads you.

Whatever happens next, you'll learn from it.

Is she cheating? - Mountain Man - 10-18-2017

OP: You are in a forum with some very experienced and confident men giving you sound advice. It seems that you are writing all of these thoughts to sort out in your own head, which is fine, but consider that you asked for advice and you are getting great advice. You should listen and stop listening to the gibbering hamster in your head.

This girl is no good for you. This girl is no good for anyone. It sounds like you do well in and desire LTRs, get out there and find one that doesn't make you question your own sanity. You deserve it.

While you're at it, read at least 50 pages of info on this forum and get a plan to get rid of your jealousy issues. You should never be in a position where you choose to read your GFs phone, whether she offers it or not.

Is she cheating? - Ringo - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 12:51 PM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

As for all the responses, I really appreciate everyone giving their feedback and taking the time to read. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision with no hard evidence. I always try to leave suspicion, paranoia, and skepticism at the door without hard evidence

If you've been thinking so much about wether or not she's been cheating that you created a thread here, you probably don't trust her. When the trust is gone in a relationship, you can't get it back.

How do I know? Been there...

If you get hard evidence, it will likely be late enough that you will end up burning yourself and maybe getting deeper into your tangle with this girl.

Does your gut instinct tell you she's been cheating?

If it doesn't, maybe you're paranoid.

If it does - listen to it.

Also, read these threads from Jariel - the man is brilliant:
She's Not Good Enough
The Only Rule For Ex's

Is she cheating? - Jetset - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 12:51 PM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

I always try to leave suspicion, paranoia, and skepticism at the door without hard evidence (like the so called screenshots I never got).

You have seen the hard evidence that she is lying to you about obsessing over her ex, lying to you about obsessing over her ex's girlfriend, and lying to you about "Nick" and "Lane".

Why would you even bother trying to believe anything else she says about this topic? What do you want, exactly, that will meet your standard of evidence? Pictures of her getting spit-roasted by Nick and Lane with today's newspaper on the bed to confirm it wasn't "a mistake she made a long time ago"?

Quote:Quote:

She really means a lot to me, and I can definitely see a future with her.

She started carrying on an emotional affair before she broke up with her boyfriend, and then hooked up with the target of that affair immediately.

This isn't uncommon, but you're doing what's called "pedestalizing", elevating her in your mind. She is not different or special. She's just like any other woman who carries on crazy bullshit behind a man's back and lies her ass off to hide it. She did it to him, and now she's doing it to you. It is a known defect in this woman.

She just means a lot to you because she's your first girlfriend. Why would you want to invest further in this sexless nonsense?

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I have her location too from when she came on vacation with me and she never turned it off so I know where she is and she knows it.

She will leave her phone in a strategic place to spoof her whereabouts. She is a known liar and most likely intentionally made sure you know that she knows it's on in order to earn your trust so that she can use it to lie to you more effectively.

Sorry for all the real life, but this is a typical tactic.

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When the guy she called out for cheating started spouting all that shit, he was drunk as a skunk

That might mean he said something he would not have said sober, but it does not mean that he was making it up.

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Also, if she was cheating, why would she call someone else out for cheating knowing they have a connection to her ex? I also know that this guy she called out has been cheating on his girlfriend for years and is a pathological liar.

Women often have remarkable double-standards for men cheating, and even triple-standards for themselves cheating versus their friends. It probably literally never occurred to her that he would return fire because in her mind, she did nothing wrong. As you said, this is your first girlfriend, so you've not seen how casually and aggressively women will lie about dick to protect their reputation.

Just wait. This is following a pattern. If the truth comes out, she'll blame her ex for everything and try to convince you that he was somehow abusive. If you refuse to take her side against him, she will try to convince everyone else that you're the bad guy. She's already doing it by trying to pit you against "her ex's little bitchy friends" instead of terminating the entire drama and focusing on pleasing you. She is the star of this show and is loving it.

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I know it sounds like I’m defending her but I’m trying to look at it from both sides because I really don’t want to lose her especially if it’s on false accusation.

Her confirmed lies are unacceptable regardless of what else she's hiding.

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I mean, what if those texts were really from one of her ex’s little bitchy friends trying to mess with her?

When a woman turns on the waterworks, it's frequently a strategic attention-getting tactic to make someone else try to sooth them, just like when a baby does it. You said she was bawling her eyes out. Why would she start into that if a false accusation came out of the blue and there was no substance to it? Wouldn't her first reaction be something else?

She reacted the way you'd expect her to act if she had already been worrying about getting caught, and now it was finally happening. Crying dramatically keeps the focus on fixing her feelings and away from addressing your concerns. The fastest way to make her stop crying is to believe her lie and stop asking about it, and she knows the tears put powerful pressure on men to make her stop.

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Plus, why would they text me to tell me they were texting my gf? To get themselves in trouble?

It's likely that her toxic behavior has made her other enemies who are more than happy to burn her down.

You're going to do what you want. You don't have to listen to me or anybody else here. These aren't "small" red flags, though. What you're describing is ridiculous. We're all telling you the same thing for a reason: because it's the answer.

Is she cheating? - Striking - 10-18-2017

OP, you're fucking unbelievable man.. You're a great example of how love makes men act in baffling ways.

Is she cheating? - Oz. - 10-18-2017

Most of the time when you suspect your girl of cheating, she has been already cheating for a while. Of course this taking into consideration that you don't obsess with you getting cheated on by every girl you are with.

Is she cheating? - arsenal2000 - 10-18-2017

I had been going out with a girl for several months. One day we argue over some issue ,she gets angry and leaves me. Does not answer my phone and goes no contact . Returns back to me after a few days and acts the same. One of my friends tell me that they have seen one of her EX posts in face book saying they are in a relationship . she had not accepted the relationship request. I confront her over it . She cry's a lot tells me the story that she called him to find out why she has problems in her relationships etc . She never meet him and he is just crazy . She even shows a gynecological exam report to prove that she could not have had sex in that time period. I did not believe it . I break off immediately and tell her that our relationship was over the moment she had called to talk to an ex who is still in to her. I was not going to put up with this kind of disrespect and I had no need to be with her. She does a lot of crazy things to get back together which is for another post but like other posters suggested I went no contact. Few months later the day after valentines I see her ex (current BF)post all the things he has done and given for valentines day.

Like the other posters are mentioning you will save yourself a lot of trouble by moving on now rather than being with someone that is not giving the respect you deserve.

Is she cheating? - BoiBoi - 10-18-2017

How old are you? Do what Jet and the others have suggested and thank them later. It'll hurt and you'll probably will cry like a little bitch, but in the long run, she'll just be a footnote. Trust me, I'm 35 and have been there.

Also, as a general piece of advice, a girl who is relationship-hopping should not be trusted.

Is she cheating? - Vaun - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 12:51 PM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

As for all the responses, I really appreciate everyone giving their feedback and taking the time to read. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision with no hard evidence.

Not having sex with you isn't enough evidence? That is the first, and biggest sign that a woman no longer wants to be with you.

Is she cheating? - Jetset - 10-18-2017

OP, one more thing on the waterworks.

Watch this press conference in which a female politician in upstate New York has been caught misusing a government credit card for huge purchases of personal items.

http://spectrumlocalnews.com/nys/bingham...ontroversy

At 10:00, she suddenly realizes nobody believes her and that she is expected to give up her office, so she starts crying, spinning a crazy story about a mysterious political enemy who tried to blackmail her. She's a victim, she's a martyr, she's being threatened, she didn't do anything wrong, she did it all for us, and by the way did you know her husband died a while back? You reporters are being so mean.

Of course, everything was a lie. A reporter in the audience asked her to give him a timeline because the credit card statements had already been leaked. They knew she was lying about needing it for a natural disaster because she'd already maxed it out before the disaster. She'd even gone on a final shopping spree with it after she left office and the city's attorneys had warned her to stop. Her own defense attorney and the prosecutor both just threw up their arms when asked about the blackmail fantasy.

Crying is the go-to weapon of last resort for a lying woman. She will absolutely whip it out when she knows she's in trouble and has to go all-in on some real bullshit. It does not mean she feels bad, it means she wants you to feel bad and often, that she needs to convince you to take her side against some other enemy, real or imagined, to save her own ass.

Is she cheating? - Svoboda - 10-18-2017

Quote: (10-18-2017 12:51 PM)Kanasukia Wrote:  

As for all the responses, I really appreciate everyone giving their feedback and taking the time to read. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision with no hard evidence. I always try to leave suspicion, paranoia, and skepticism at the door without hard evidence (like the so called screenshots I never got).

I'll use your own words:
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4. She’s been very distant, sexually and emotionally. We barely have sex (idk if I can attribute that to school, stress, or just not having time) and she is on her phone A LOT. She just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. She’s always texting books to her friends and always on social media and Snapchat.

She's failing at being a good girlfriend, which is reason enough to break up with her.
That's all the hard evidence you need.

Is she cheating? - Kanasukia - 10-18-2017

Thanks again everyone. I’ve read everyone’s responses and now I think I’ll get a game plan together. I know it’s unbelievable how I’m acting but this is the first time I’ve really had an emotional connection with someone and cheating to me is the worst possible shit to go thru IMO. It just seems unreal to me but I’m going to let everything sink in and make a decision. I’ll post an update soon.

On the regard of not having sex often. Roughly we bang it out once or twice a week, which has tremendously gone down from the first 6-12 months (at LEAST every other day if not every day). It all started when she started school. Her workload and stressing out is what she blames it on and frankly I really do believe her on that. She’s going to be an MA and the program is brutal. I see what she has to go through and the workload, stress and pace they are moving at. During the summer the sex does become more frequent (about 4-5 times a week) so I’m not sure if that’s really a factor. She only has one semester left so I really want to see if it gets better (sex and relationship wise). She’s always telling me how much she missing fucking me, almost every night. It could be because of this bullshit but I really think it’s because of school and stress. But I’m probably naive because I really have fallen for her lol.

I understand that everyone is basically saying the same thing so that definitely holds weight with me even though I’m new and don’t really know any of you lol. But thanks again everyone. Like I said I’ll keep it updated