Posts: 13
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2011
Reputation:
0
Confirmation Text
01-25-2012, 02:15 PM
My text game used to be horrible. I would go on and on in conversation, and meet the girl at her level, which never led anywhere good.
I've since tightened it way up. My results are 10x better.
1. I never ask questions. Including when asking her out. I just tell her what I want.
2. I pretend there's a $1 per letter charge. When in doubt, go simple.
3. I don't play the timing game. Way early on, I throw in a random 2 or 3 day silent treatment mid-convo, despite good or bad behavior. It sets a good tone, they usually answer back within the hour when I text back, if not within 5 minutes.
So what's the weakest point of my text game now?
The confirmation txt (day of) when I plan a date a couple days in advance. I want to make sure they didn't forget, or their grandma didn't die or whatever. At the same time, I find this very hard to do without coming across as a little needy/insecure or whatever. I'm sure there is a very simple couple of words that would do the trick just right.
What do you guys do?
"There's only one game and the game is pimping. You can play, or be played; it's your choice." -- Mickey Royal
Posts: 13
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2011
Reputation:
0
Confirmation Text
01-25-2012, 11:02 PM
Quote: (01-25-2012 06:23 PM)Smitty Wrote:
Quote: (01-25-2012 02:15 PM)aries569 Wrote:
The confirmation txt (day of) when I plan a date a couple days in advance. I want to make sure they didn't forget, or their grandma didn't die or whatever. At the same time, I find this very hard to do without coming across as a little needy/insecure or whatever. I'm sure there is a very simple couple of words that would do the trick just right.
What do you guys do?
Just send her something like "did i tell you 6 or 7 tonight?"
Prompts her to confirm the time that way you know she still intends to go, and sends the signal she isn't a priority in your mind (otherwise you would have known the exact time). Make her work to be a priority in your life.
thanks smitty. exactly the type of thing i was looking for.
@ G. That's def more effort, but my experiences tell me it's a time investment worth making. I should probably take note of that.
"There's only one game and the game is pimping. You can play, or be played; it's your choice." -- Mickey Royal
Posts: 1,974
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation:
67
Confirmation Text
09-12-2014, 08:56 PM
Set a date ( time and place ) with an ex 5 days in advance.
I normally don't confirm but since this was 5 days ( set on tues meeting sunday evening)....
I'm wondering if I should text " did we say 7 or 7:30" a few hours before on Sunday....or just show up with no confirm.
- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.
#BallsWin
Posts: 2,212
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2011
Reputation:
95
Confirmation Text
09-13-2014, 04:22 AM
Do this. Text her "i'm already running late today. let's meet up 30 minutes later, ok?". If she doesn't reply at all it's not good.
Posts: 192
Threads: 0
Joined: May 2014
Reputation:
3
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 12:03 AM
Call her.
This will put her on the spot and make it more difficult for her hamster to come up with a decent excuse for flaking.
Posts: 64
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2013
Reputation:
1
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 03:05 AM
I too prefer calling since it can take hours of back and forth to plan anything via text.
However I think very rarely will girls pick up (well for me anyway). I imagine most girls will see your number and freak out and just not pick up. I then either leave a voice message or send her a text immediately after saying hi, wanted your opinion on something, call me back.
That normally piques their curiousity and you get a reply at least asking what did you want to ask? If she's into you, she'll call which is great - I've found girls very rarely call, but if they do, it definitely makes them stand out.
Then I ask something about the date I've planned, eg do you prefer coffee or dessert? (because you're deciding whether to go to a cafe or a dessert place for your date).
From a pragmatic point of view, if your phone keeps a message history, you shouldn't need to confirm. If a girl doesn't prioritise a date with you and count down the days then you're not very important to her.
Ask the average girl how many dates she goes on, most I know never get asked out, so when a man asks a girl out on a date in this day and age, it SHOULD be a big deal for her. If she wants to approach it with a cavalier attitude and squander this opportunity to meet you, so be it. Her loss.
But the "im running late" idea is good, I've used it when I actually was late but didn't realise I could use it as a technique.
Posts: 2,407
Threads: 0
Joined: May 2013
Reputation:
79
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 11:37 AM
This may be a newbie question, but what's wrong with just texting "Are we still on for today?" I did i many times and the answer was "yes" most of the time.
Posts: 64
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2013
Reputation:
1
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 11:47 AM
theres nothing wrongbper se, but its more needy that sending a text saying im gonna be a little late or assuming its on anyway.
"you're a great guy! Of course its still on" should be your mindset
Posts: 1,974
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation:
67
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 11:54 AM
Another reason to confirm is not only with first dates...but girls you've been seeing who have a history of flakiness.
For example, this particular girl....I had a date lined up 5 days in advance and texted her "was it 7 or 7.30 to meet?" the day before.
She texted back " we didn't say specifics and I promised my sister I'd....blah blah" Which was basically BS.
I couldn't help but shame text her back " And you're not even offering alternate days...." to which she responded " I was going to offer Tuesday"
So...I'll probably confirm the Tues appointment now because she's got this history of flakiness.....something like the former poster said " I'm running late fyi." or something.
Girls who have demonstrated punctuality and courtesy probably don't need confirm texts. Only first dates, if you so choose and dates with girls you've been seeing who have been on and off flaky. Also....probably if the date was set 4 or more days in advance.
- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.
#BallsWin
Posts: 2,430
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2012
Reputation:
65
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 11:55 AM
^^
'are we still on for today?' In my opinion has a bit of a validation seeking and desperate vibe to it. It's as if your hoping she comes through because you really value your time with her above other things you could have chosen to do that day, and that's what you're communicating. Also, it's as if you're confirming her interest in you, by looking to be extra sure she is going to come through.
'hey lets meet 30 minutes later im running a bit late' is immediately a difference. You're not seeking to confirm that she is going to come through (although that's essentially what you are doing). This does still have a potential for a no response though even though she could come through but in most cases she should reply.
The best confirmation text in my opinion is 'lets meet at xyz, near xyz' a few hours before the date. This is of course based on her having agreed to a time the previous day when you texted her. If you agreed to meet at 7 at night the next day, send her that text around 1-3 pm the day of and leave it at that. If there's any hint of a flake it will come up in her reply otherwise you are good to go. No need to send a confirmation text of any sort.
Sometimes you can also instill a bit of dread in her, wondering if you are going to flake. If I'm only mildly interested in a girl (she's cute but ehh, happens a lot) I'll be lazy with the plans. I'll set the time the night before and location, and confirm with her that night ('see you then'). But I won't text her during the day. In all of my cases that I've tried this they end up texting an hour or so before to confirm with you, so that they don't get stood up. Change the frame, don't worry about her not showing up, make her worry about you.
If she did not send a confirmation text, I would simply not show up, with my excuse if she called me out on it being 'shit i forgot'. But I haven't had to do that yet, in the few times I've done this they've always confirmed with me beforehand.
Posts: 3,352
Threads: 0
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation:
78
Confirmation Text
09-14-2014, 04:24 PM
I just say "Hey I might be 15 min late"
The important thing is to send this in the last 2-3 hours before the date no earlier
A lot of girls who are going to flake decide to do so just as the meeting is becoming a reality in their mind and last minute flakes are the worst
You want to make her commit or not to the date shortly before it happens
"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
Posts: 53
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2013
Reputation:
0
Confirmation Text
09-15-2014, 06:30 AM
I usually just text "I'll see you later today"
and....I go based on their reply/non reply
Posts: 1,974
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation:
67
Confirmation Text
09-19-2014, 06:22 PM
as far as confirming a pre planned date.....I had a thought today and would like feedback:
I'll call it "curiosity text game"
A few hours before said date you text something like:
"quick question...Which would you choose - mint julep or gin cocktail?"
She answers....
Then you: Ok,cool....see you tonight at 7 or Ok, cool, I probably be about 15 minutes late. Don't be too sad.
another curiosity text: " quick question...which do you like better....tiramisu or chocolate cake?"
Then...proceed with "see you tonight"
You're piquing her curiosity and making her anticipate something possibly on the date...hence making it more likely she'll show up. thoughts?
- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.
#BallsWin