[aries569]

My text game used to be horrible. I would go on and on in conversation, and meet the girl at her level, which never led anywhere good.

I've since tightened it way up. My results are 10x better.

1. I never ask questions. Including when asking her out. I just tell her what I want.

2. I pretend there's a $1 per letter charge. When in doubt, go simple.

3. I don't play the timing game. Way early on, I throw in a random 2 or 3 day silent treatment mid-convo, despite good or bad behavior. It sets a good tone, they usually answer back within the hour when I text back, if not within 5 minutes.

So what's the weakest point of my text game now?

The confirmation txt (day of) when I plan a date a couple days in advance. I want to make sure they didn't forget, or their grandma didn't die or whatever. At the same time, I find this very hard to do without coming across as a little needy/insecure or whatever. I'm sure there is a very simple couple of words that would do the trick just right.

What do you guys do?

[thegmanifesto]

(01-25-2012 02:15 PM)aries569 Wrote:  

My text game used to be horrible. I would go on and on in conversation, and meet the girl at her level, which never led anywhere good.

I've since tightened it way up. My results are 10x better.

1. I never ask questions. Including when asking her out. I just tell her what I want.

2. I pretend there's a $1 per letter charge. When in doubt, go simple.

3. I don't play the timing game. Way early on, I throw in a random 2 or 3 day silent treatment mid-convo, despite good or bad behavior. It sets a good tone, they usually answer back within the hour when I text back, if not within 5 minutes.

So what's the weakest point of my text game now?

The confirmation txt (day of) when I plan a date a couple days in advance. I want to make sure they didn't forget, or their grandma didn't die or whatever. At the same time, I find this very hard to do without coming across as a little needy/insecure or whatever. I'm sure there is a very simple couple of words that would do the trick just right.

What do you guys do?

These are all good moves, I think.

As far as your question, I have said it a million times on here.

I get the girl on the horn.

Especially if it is a first meeting.

I like to lock sh*t down.

My Phone Game is drum tight. So many times I can actually "win" a fight, before I step into the ring.

Very Mayweatheresque.

I am sure a lot of people with disagree with me on here for saying this, however ask yourself:

When was the last time you saw me do a post on here complaining about how girls are "flaking"?

[Goodjob]

I generally don't tell her where we are going to meet until the same day. So, That day I have an excuse "what about bar x?"

In any case, maybe there is something written here about this:

http://www.bangpickupguide.com/misc/text...rooshv.pdf

I found it useful.

[Smitty]

(01-25-2012 02:15 PM)aries569 Wrote:  

The confirmation txt (day of) when I plan a date a couple days in advance. I want to make sure they didn't forget, or their grandma didn't die or whatever. At the same time, I find this very hard to do without coming across as a little needy/insecure or whatever. I'm sure there is a very simple couple of words that would do the trick just right.

What do you guys do?

Just send her something like "did i tell you 6 or 7 tonight?"

Prompts her to confirm the time that way you know she still intends to go, and sends the signal she isn't a priority in your mind (otherwise you would have known the exact time). Make her work to be a priority in your life.

[aries569]

(01-25-2012 06:23 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

(01-25-2012 02:15 PM)aries569 Wrote:  

The confirmation txt (day of) when I plan a date a couple days in advance. I want to make sure they didn't forget, or their grandma didn't die or whatever. At the same time, I find this very hard to do without coming across as a little needy/insecure or whatever. I'm sure there is a very simple couple of words that would do the trick just right.

What do you guys do?

Just send her something like "did i tell you 6 or 7 tonight?"

Prompts her to confirm the time that way you know she still intends to go, and sends the signal she isn't a priority in your mind (otherwise you would have known the exact time). Make her work to be a priority in your life.

thanks smitty. exactly the type of thing i was looking for.

@ G. That's def more effort, but my experiences tell me it's a time investment worth making. I should probably take note of that.

[PUA_Rachacha]

A girl just flaked on me tonight because I didn't "confirm". I tersely replied with the singular word "gay".

Now, I'm totally indifferent about the outcome because now I'll go out sarging tonight, but I've had other girls say this before too. Thus, should I actually send out a text a day in advance, such as "see you tomorrow"? Or is the girl going to flake regardless? I ask because a guy reviewing Bang Columbia noted that his flake probability went down significantly when he reminded the girl the day/morning before the date.

[robreke]

Set a date ( time and place ) with an ex 5 days in advance.

I normally don't confirm but since this was 5 days ( set on tues meeting sunday evening)....

I'm wondering if I should text " did we say 7 or 7:30" a few hours before on Sunday....or just show up with no confirm.

[BadgerHut]

(09-12-2014 08:56 PM)robreke Wrote:  

Set a date ( time and place ) with an ex 5 days in advance.

I normally don't confirm but since this was 5 days ( set on tues meeting sunday evening)....

I'm wondering if I should text " did we say 7 or 7:30" a few hours before on Sunday....or just show up with no confirm.

Hit her with a confirm text on Saturday. "7:30 tomorrow?" I used to think This Was Beta but this is basic courtesy, giving someone a reminder and an opportunity to re-plan.

Then a few hours beforehand on Sunday, drop a fakey kind of thing like this: "Hey I'm coming from something else, I should be there by 7:30 but I'll let you know when I'm on my way." This forces her to respond in the frame of "the meetup is happening" instead of getting to send some out of nowhere flake text.

I assume there's a 48-hour statue of limitations on any plans made by text message, and they have to be refreshed.

[XXL]

Do this. Text her "i'm already running late today. let's meet up 30 minutes later, ok?". If she doesn't reply at all it's not good.

[SydneyD]

Call her.

This will put her on the spot and make it more difficult for her hamster to come up with a decent excuse for flaking.

[boywonder34]

I too prefer calling since it can take hours of back and forth to plan anything via text.

However I think very rarely will girls pick up (well for me anyway). I imagine most girls will see your number and freak out and just not pick up. I then either leave a voice message or send her a text immediately after saying hi, wanted your opinion on something, call me back.

That normally piques their curiousity and you get a reply at least asking what did you want to ask? If she's into you, she'll call which is great - I've found girls very rarely call, but if they do, it definitely makes them stand out.

Then I ask something about the date I've planned, eg do you prefer coffee or dessert? (because you're deciding whether to go to a cafe or a dessert place for your date).

From a pragmatic point of view, if your phone keeps a message history, you shouldn't need to confirm. If a girl doesn't prioritise a date with you and count down the days then you're not very important to her.

Ask the average girl how many dates she goes on, most I know never get asked out, so when a man asks a girl out on a date in this day and age, it SHOULD be a big deal for her. If she wants to approach it with a cavalier attitude and squander this opportunity to meet you, so be it. Her loss.

But the "im running late" idea is good, I've used it when I actually was late but didn't realise I could use it as a technique.

[Sketness]

(09-13-2014 04:22 AM)XXL Wrote:  

Do this. Text her "i'm already running late today. let's meet up 30 minutes later, ok?". If she doesn't reply at all it's not good.

^^^^^^^
This

Ive been using this technique for a while and it has not failed me yet.

This technique forces her to show her hand ( in poker terms). XXL has it spot on that if she dosen't answer than its probably a flake.

* Also a quick tip on how to use this line. Send the text a hour to 45 min Before you scheduled the meet-up. This does a couple of things.

1. You can gauge her interest in the date depending on how fast she responds to your text.

2. This saves time, of wasting potential time. If she dosent respond then thats valuable time that you have saved by not showing up to the date.

[BadgerHut]

(09-14-2014 03:05 AM)boywonder34 Wrote:  

I too prefer calling since it can take hours of back and forth to plan anything via text.

However I think very rarely will girls pick up (well for me anyway). I imagine most girls will see your number and freak out and just not pick up.

I totally agree, I gave up on calling years ago because I wasn't getting any results. I've had entire flings go on without talking to a woman on the phone at all.

It's weird, girls will bitch about "why don't guys ever call anymore, texting is sooo impersonal" and then they won't pick because they're too nervous to have an actual personal conversation with someone where they have to respond on the spot and can't ask their girlfriends "what does this mean, how should I respond?"

Texting and social media appear to validate the conflict aversion and poor social skills of modern young women by depersonalizing interactions to the furthest possible degree.

hrug:

[Brodiaga]

This may be a newbie question, but what's wrong with just texting "Are we still on for today?" I did i many times and the answer was "yes" most of the time.

[boywonder34]

theres nothing wrongbper se, but its more needy that sending a text saying im gonna be a little late or assuming its on anyway.

"you're a great guy! Of course its still on" should be your mindset

[robreke]

Another reason to confirm is not only with first dates...but girls you've been seeing who have a history of flakiness.

For example, this particular girl....I had a date lined up 5 days in advance and texted her "was it 7 or 7.30 to meet?" the day before.

She texted back " we didn't say specifics and I promised my sister I'd....blah blah" Which was basically BS.

I couldn't help but shame text her back " And you're not even offering alternate days...." to which she responded " I was going to offer Tuesday"

So...I'll probably confirm the Tues appointment now because she's got this history of flakiness.....something like the former poster said " I'm running late fyi." or something.

Girls who have demonstrated punctuality and courtesy probably don't need confirm texts. Only first dates, if you so choose and dates with girls you've been seeing who have been on and off flaky. Also....probably if the date was set 4 or more days in advance.

[Nascimento]

^^

'are we still on for today?' In my opinion has a bit of a validation seeking and desperate vibe to it. It's as if your hoping she comes through because you really value your time with her above other things you could have chosen to do that day, and that's what you're communicating. Also, it's as if you're confirming her interest in you, by looking to be extra sure she is going to come through.

'hey lets meet 30 minutes later im running a bit late' is immediately a difference. You're not seeking to confirm that she is going to come through (although that's essentially what you are doing). This does still have a potential for a no response though even though she could come through but in most cases she should reply.

The best confirmation text in my opinion is 'lets meet at xyz, near xyz' a few hours before the date. This is of course based on her having agreed to a time the previous day when you texted her. If you agreed to meet at 7 at night the next day, send her that text around 1-3 pm the day of and leave it at that. If there's any hint of a flake it will come up in her reply otherwise you are good to go. No need to send a confirmation text of any sort.

Sometimes you can also instill a bit of dread in her, wondering if you are going to flake. If I'm only mildly interested in a girl (she's cute but ehh, happens a lot) I'll be lazy with the plans. I'll set the time the night before and location, and confirm with her that night ('see you then'). But I won't text her during the day. In all of my cases that I've tried this they end up texting an hour or so before to confirm with you, so that they don't get stood up. Change the frame, don't worry about her not showing up, make her worry about you.

If she did not send a confirmation text, I would simply not show up, with my excuse if she called me out on it being 'shit i forgot'. But I haven't had to do that yet, in the few times I've done this they've always confirmed with me beforehand.

[MrXY]

I just say "Hey I might be 15 min late"

The important thing is to send this in the last 2-3 hours before the date no earlier

A lot of girls who are going to flake decide to do so just as the meeting is becoming a reality in their mind and last minute flakes are the worst

You want to make her commit or not to the date shortly before it happens

[gringochileno]

(09-13-2014 04:22 AM)XXL Wrote:  

Do this. Text her "i'm already running late today. let's meet up 30 minutes later, ok?". If she doesn't reply at all it's not good.

Yeah this is what I do. I always initially set the date for 30 minutes before I actually want to meet, then a few hours before I'll text something like "i'm running late, can we do 830 instead?" (assuming I originally set the time for 8PM.) If she doesn't reply I assume the flake and won't even show up, but she'll almost always reply and agree.

The only exception is that I'll sometimes text "are we still good for tomorrow?" the night before if I set the date really far in advance (usually 5 days or more). I don't think it comes across as desperation in that instance, in my mind it's perfectly appropriate to confirm a meeting with someone you haven't contacted in several days.

[Crownife]

I usually just text "I'll see you later today"

and....I go based on their reply/non reply

[BadgerHut]

(09-14-2014 05:29 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  

all we got is a cot in the back

Watched that Eddie Murphy clip btw - funny as shit.

[keysersoze]

(01-25-2012 02:22 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

These are all good moves, I think.

As far as your question, I have said it a million times on here.

I get the girl on the horn.

Especially if it is a first meeting.

I like to lock sh*t down.

My Phone Game is drum tight. So many times I can actually "win" a fight, before I step into the ring.

Very Mayweatheresque.

I am sure a lot of people with disagree with me on here for saying this, however ask yourself:

When was the last time you saw me do a post on here complaining about how girls are "flaking"?

Could you give us a rundown of your text game? I feel like mine has been pretty weak.

A lot of times I get a number and don't text until the weekend, but it hasn't been working out well.

[robreke]

as far as confirming a pre planned date.....I had a thought today and would like feedback:

I'll call it "curiosity text game"

A few hours before said date you text something like:

"quick question...Which would you choose - mint julep or gin cocktail?"
She answers....
Then you: Ok,cool....see you tonight at 7 or Ok, cool, I probably be about 15 minutes late. Don't be too sad.

another curiosity text: " quick question...which do you like better....tiramisu or chocolate cake?"
Then...proceed with "see you tonight"

You're piquing her curiosity and making her anticipate something possibly on the date...hence making it more likely she'll show up. thoughts?

[BadgerHut]

(09-19-2014 06:22 PM)robreke Wrote:  

as far as confirming a pre planned date.....I had a thought today and would like feedback:

I'll call it "curiosity text game"

A few hours before said date you text something like:

"quick question...Which would you choose - mint julep or gin cocktail?"
She answers....
Then you: Ok,cool....see you tonight at 7 or Ok, cool, I probably be about 15 minutes late. Don't be too sad.

another curiosity text: " quick question...which do you like better....tiramisu or chocolate cake?"
Then...proceed with "see you tonight"

You're piquing her curiosity and making her anticipate something possibly on the date...hence making it more likely she'll show up. thoughts?

I've done something like this and it is indeed pretty effective. When you get these ideas thought, I'd say just try them out to get some data, you don't need our approval.