Hey guys,
I wanted to share a few things that I've been doing that have really been game changers for me. I don't take credit for these as they've been written about either on RVF or elsewhere, but I wanted to make this thread because I've felt as if I've been hitting my stride and peaking in several ways and these things have been working in synergy. I've not going to write too much about exercise and diet, since these have been staples for me for over a decade.
1) Bright Light Therapy - 30 minutes a day 10,000 lux intensity first thing in the morning (5 or 6am). Lizard of Oz has an excellent thread on this. Better mood, more energy, and I believe higher testosterone. I found a study that it increases LH, which I totally believe. I already have a high sex drive, but after starting this my sex drive has increased even further.
2) Cold Showers - Nearly every day and at least 20 a month. I keep track on a whiteboard. I especially force myself to take one when I feel like I'm making excuses.
3) REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) - Dusty has a great thread on this which I've read fully twice. But basically I found a guy who does this around here and attended to a few sessions. It's excellent for eliminating and identifying rational versus irrational thoughts and beliefs and getting rid of bullshit thinking.
4) Deep awareness of my thoughts moment to moment. Related to REBT, I had to really make a conscious effort to monitor my thoughts, and not go on autopilot. Using REBT I successfully have been able to identify activating events for unproductive emotions and behavioral states.
5) I stopped comparing myself to others and just focused on myself. While doing REBT exercises I noticed that I would go into negative thought spirals and negative emotions when I would compare myself to people who I thought were 'better' than me. This was becoming unproductive because I would then start thinking about the past and paralyzing myself through procrastination in the present. Thing was I had already analyzed my past mistakes, but I'd get into this loop where I'd think about 'maybe I should have...gone to x school, done this instead, etc. etc. etc.' which leads to...
6) Asking myself "Is this up to me?" or "Is this under my control or not?" This is straight out of stoicism. I was and am very diligent about focusing on this now. In the past I'd lose my cool or become upset about things that I really had no control over whatsoever. I think about it like shooting an arrow at a target, I do my best to control aim and hit the target, but I can't control the wind, or other forces of nature that could cause me to miss.
7) "Accepting reality, but still being a dreamer." This one takes a little bit of an explanation. I have a theory that people that are too realistic and too grounded don't achieve wild success. It's my opinion that you need a hint of irrationality, that the possibilities are endless. If you don't, you just shut yourself down before you take a course of action. Let me give you a few examples as I decided to test this for a month.
For 30 days I decided to just accept that nearly anything was possible for me and it led to some startling results, I started doing things and acting in ways where in the past I'd stop myself before the attempt. One change happened in my BJJ class. Against guys who were more skilled, I tended to already lose mentally before beginning sparring. But this time I told myself "I'm not going to give them an inch, I'm going to take every advantage, and I'm going to put so much pressure on them and make them quit." I didn't change anything else. I got several comments about how much stronger I was, and my performance improved significantly.
At my job I decided to just started emailing executives to network. Now my work culture is big on networking, but again I don't think anybody does this, at least I haven't heard of anyone doing it. But I said what the hell, I have nothing to lose. I remember a video from Steve Jobs who said that nobody has really turned him down if he asked for help and the difference is between people who ask and people who don't.
Surprisingly they(their admins) set up several meetings. I go to meet with one this guy, and just talked for a while, nothing out of the ordinary, but I showed enthusiasm. Within a week, I get an email from this hiring manager who asks for my resume for a potential transfer. The job is for more money and pretty interesting. Again never would have happened.
Creatively, I've been on fire with ideas for so many projects there's no way I can finish them all.
8) Related to above, show enthusiasm. This is something that can't be faked, but when you're enthusiastic and feeling like you can conquer the world it shines through making opportunities open up.
9) “How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.” from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
I took this to heart. How much time was I wasting thinking about others, playing the status game, or having conversations about 'so and so'? Or even reading articles that amount to nothing?
10) Related to REBT, there is a concept of doing 'shame attack' exercises which is basically doing something that you would feel stupid doing in public. The point is getting out of your comfort zone. I've been in the game long enough that approaching doesn't bother me much, but still I had trouble doing certain exercises which compared to cold approaching were nothing. But it's like working out, you can take Lance Armstrong and put him on a mat and he'd gas in a few minutes, just because the training is different. Hence getting out your comfort zone can be different.
What I really wanted to do was force myself to be uncomfortable every single day, so I started doing a few weird things. One day I wore a pair of bright red sneakers around all day. I remember in the morning putting them on and saying to myself 'You look like an idiot.' Nothing happened, I'm not even sure people noticed. Did some other things, but this post is already long.
Anyway, I know a lot of this isn't new information, but if even just a few guys can get some good takeaways from this list this post will be worth it. So I hope this helps.
I wanted to share a few things that I've been doing that have really been game changers for me. I don't take credit for these as they've been written about either on RVF or elsewhere, but I wanted to make this thread because I've felt as if I've been hitting my stride and peaking in several ways and these things have been working in synergy. I've not going to write too much about exercise and diet, since these have been staples for me for over a decade.
1) Bright Light Therapy - 30 minutes a day 10,000 lux intensity first thing in the morning (5 or 6am). Lizard of Oz has an excellent thread on this. Better mood, more energy, and I believe higher testosterone. I found a study that it increases LH, which I totally believe. I already have a high sex drive, but after starting this my sex drive has increased even further.
2) Cold Showers - Nearly every day and at least 20 a month. I keep track on a whiteboard. I especially force myself to take one when I feel like I'm making excuses.
3) REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) - Dusty has a great thread on this which I've read fully twice. But basically I found a guy who does this around here and attended to a few sessions. It's excellent for eliminating and identifying rational versus irrational thoughts and beliefs and getting rid of bullshit thinking.
4) Deep awareness of my thoughts moment to moment. Related to REBT, I had to really make a conscious effort to monitor my thoughts, and not go on autopilot. Using REBT I successfully have been able to identify activating events for unproductive emotions and behavioral states.
5) I stopped comparing myself to others and just focused on myself. While doing REBT exercises I noticed that I would go into negative thought spirals and negative emotions when I would compare myself to people who I thought were 'better' than me. This was becoming unproductive because I would then start thinking about the past and paralyzing myself through procrastination in the present. Thing was I had already analyzed my past mistakes, but I'd get into this loop where I'd think about 'maybe I should have...gone to x school, done this instead, etc. etc. etc.' which leads to...
6) Asking myself "Is this up to me?" or "Is this under my control or not?" This is straight out of stoicism. I was and am very diligent about focusing on this now. In the past I'd lose my cool or become upset about things that I really had no control over whatsoever. I think about it like shooting an arrow at a target, I do my best to control aim and hit the target, but I can't control the wind, or other forces of nature that could cause me to miss.
7) "Accepting reality, but still being a dreamer." This one takes a little bit of an explanation. I have a theory that people that are too realistic and too grounded don't achieve wild success. It's my opinion that you need a hint of irrationality, that the possibilities are endless. If you don't, you just shut yourself down before you take a course of action. Let me give you a few examples as I decided to test this for a month.
For 30 days I decided to just accept that nearly anything was possible for me and it led to some startling results, I started doing things and acting in ways where in the past I'd stop myself before the attempt. One change happened in my BJJ class. Against guys who were more skilled, I tended to already lose mentally before beginning sparring. But this time I told myself "I'm not going to give them an inch, I'm going to take every advantage, and I'm going to put so much pressure on them and make them quit." I didn't change anything else. I got several comments about how much stronger I was, and my performance improved significantly.
At my job I decided to just started emailing executives to network. Now my work culture is big on networking, but again I don't think anybody does this, at least I haven't heard of anyone doing it. But I said what the hell, I have nothing to lose. I remember a video from Steve Jobs who said that nobody has really turned him down if he asked for help and the difference is between people who ask and people who don't.
Surprisingly they(their admins) set up several meetings. I go to meet with one this guy, and just talked for a while, nothing out of the ordinary, but I showed enthusiasm. Within a week, I get an email from this hiring manager who asks for my resume for a potential transfer. The job is for more money and pretty interesting. Again never would have happened.
Creatively, I've been on fire with ideas for so many projects there's no way I can finish them all.
8) Related to above, show enthusiasm. This is something that can't be faked, but when you're enthusiastic and feeling like you can conquer the world it shines through making opportunities open up.
9) “How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.” from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
I took this to heart. How much time was I wasting thinking about others, playing the status game, or having conversations about 'so and so'? Or even reading articles that amount to nothing?
10) Related to REBT, there is a concept of doing 'shame attack' exercises which is basically doing something that you would feel stupid doing in public. The point is getting out of your comfort zone. I've been in the game long enough that approaching doesn't bother me much, but still I had trouble doing certain exercises which compared to cold approaching were nothing. But it's like working out, you can take Lance Armstrong and put him on a mat and he'd gas in a few minutes, just because the training is different. Hence getting out your comfort zone can be different.
What I really wanted to do was force myself to be uncomfortable every single day, so I started doing a few weird things. One day I wore a pair of bright red sneakers around all day. I remember in the morning putting them on and saying to myself 'You look like an idiot.' Nothing happened, I'm not even sure people noticed. Did some other things, but this post is already long.
Anyway, I know a lot of this isn't new information, but if even just a few guys can get some good takeaways from this list this post will be worth it. So I hope this helps.
