[kerouac]

Hey all. I'm getting inconsistent results at this point since coming back into this stuff after a LTR, so I was wondering if some of you guys who have successful approaches down can give me a rundown of what it is you do.

My approaches can go from very smooth to hectic, and I need to get the approach down. Ever since being in a relationship and getting whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I have the tendency to want to jump straight into sex, and while for some girls (especially foreign girls who are more comfortable with themselves and sexuality) this is a turn on, for the vast majority of girls it seems to not really work.

Also, if any of you have going out Solo-dolo advice, that would be appreciated as well.

In other words, help a brotha out

[thegmanifesto]

kerouac,

Can't really tell from your post what exactly you are looking for? (I might not be smart enough to understand)

Openers?

Places to go?

Vibe and attitude?

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

[Peoloom]

I'm in a new city for the summer (Madison, WI) and have been lone-wolfing it a lot as a result. After probably 10 nights out solo, I've decided that going out solo isn't a whole lot different than going out with a group. Some key differences:

-your approach should be more situational; you want to make sure that the 'who are you with?' spectre doesn't rear its ugly head. So go in with a strong opener and try to power through to rapport very quickly.
-if you can anchor yourself to a big group, you'll feel more confident. You can do this as easily as saying something trite to a group of guys and making 10 seconds of small talk. If it looks like you have a 'home base', you'll feel more empowered to hit on women.
-You can't get wasted. Obviously you're probably not going to get wasted on a night out by yourself in the first place, but I feel under a lot of pressure to be witty and interesting when I'm lone wolfing -- and I can't do this while drunk. These days I rarely drink more than 1 or 2 beers when I'm out, and that's only so I'm holding something.

Another thing that I've added to my arsenal is the same-night text. I've texted stupid messages like 'Ow, I hurt my foot' or 'wow I just saw a fight' and I've always gotten responses. Generally the flake factor for a number you get in a bar is something like 40-50%, but I think if you get a response to the same-night text, you can reduce that by a substantial amount. You want to strike while the iron is hot.

[kerouac]

G-man, sorry I wasn't more clear. I am wondering about your approaches. What do you tend to say to break the ice, what do you find yourself doing to build comfort... basically... what is your tried and tested technique to getting some loving... especially when you're riding solo.

Is there a rundown of things you find yourself doing that end up getting you from point A to point P(ussy)?

[Basil Ransom]

Some I've used recently:

"Hey, I had to say hello, I think you're kinda cute" both night and daygame.

"You guys are definitely not European" -to american girls, in a bar where there were lots of Europeans

"hey, you must be scandinavian, you're tall and blonde"

"hey, what do you think of guys who wear skinny jeans" (used in clothing stores)

"hey, all these books are for girls" (in the teens section of the bookstore - unfortunately, the girls there are usually underage.)

These have all opened well.

[College Game]

Today I used,
- "Hey, are you ok?" (the girl looked sad and pensive) got her number
--> got her number, but I have banged her friend, but she doesn't know that, yet.

Yesterday I used the classic (overdone but basic opener if you don't have anything else to go on)
"Hey do I know you?"
"no." (followed by long silence in which the girl re-initiated convo"
- I stumbled on this one, but we talked for a while, got a good rapport.
- I wanted to try to not ask for her number, but to try and build enough interest for her to ask for my number. It didn't work until when saying goodbye and after she gave me her name, I said "it would be good to see you again (Suzie)"
- Reply "why don't I give you my number then"

[kerouac]

Yeah, I'm getting back into the Game full steam and I had to take some time off from keyboard jockeying and get myself out there.

Some things I noticed:
1) KISS --> Keep it simple, stupid.
a) Chill/Relax/Be Happy
b) Fix your internal state if it needs to be fixed
c) Get out of your shell

Basically, I noticed during my "downtime" that my approaches were S.H.I.T. That's not an acronym for anything, just shit. Anyway, I was approaching girls with the mentality of trying to get something out of them. Wrong move. It never works out this way. Best way, or at least the way that's working best now, is to enjoy the moment. When I talk to a girl now, it's all about the flirt. It isn't about me wishing to jump from A -> Pussy. It's about jumping through little hurdles with them and having fun. Basically I'm shit testing girls, like they shit test chumps. It's all good, baby baby.

2) The idea of "alpha male" has way too much emphasis in the community. Or at least that's the impression I get because of Roissy's blog. Not sure.
a) First, people get way too into minute details about what is and what isn't alpha. In my opinion, it is ridiculous. Instead of trying to fit whatever trait into the word alpha in order to keep it alive, just list traits. KISS.
b) Good traits: Easy going, easy to smile, easy to ROWR, easy to get really comfortable with a girl's body

3) To go from A -> P(ussy), the goal is to live on the boundary. She knows you like/love/adore sex, but why is it you are pursuing it in this way? Why aren't you sweating over her? Why aren't you leaning in? Why aren't you an average frustrated chump? Also, why are you purposefully going against the game by saying things that are meant to fuck up your game on purpose, just to show that you could really care less about fucking her, although deep down inside there would be nothing better right now than to be deep inside of her. (sorry for the erotic lit here)

4) One thing that I had fucked up, because of a weird internal state, was eye contact and relaxed body state. Man, once that stuff got fixed, things are so much different. Body Language is god for emotional creatures. Girls can be like little pets. If you watch the dog trainer show on the animal channel you can see it. When they are bad, you pull the chain, but when they are good you give them a cookie; they respond to emotional cues.

[College Game]

Didn't lead to lay of course, but just now did a successful coffee shop opener, ie. got a number. This is where I run the majority of my game, but the difficulty here is a good opener. The one I pulled was to ask them their opinion on something that you are either reading or writing. I feel this works better than the "what are you reading" one.

[kerouac]

So night game is something I really want to get down mainly because of the quantity/quality aspect of night spots, so this is where I would love to hear how some of you who have had successful approaches have done things. What are you pre partying rituals if you have any? When you ride solo what is your technique? Do you do direct or indirect game? Do you involve random people into your gAme? What do you do when youre one guy and trying to get a girl in a group? How do you isolate/escalate in such a situation?

So far I just think if I get back to working out and getting my energy level back up it will do a lot. Also giving less of a shit which is really hard to do when you're riding solo. I have some ideas but it would be great to hear detailed stories of success.

[Hangover]

(08-16-2009 05:14 AM)kerouac Wrote:  

So night game is something I really want to get down mainly because of the quantity/quality aspect of night spots, so this is where I would love to hear how some of you who have had successful approaches have done things. What are you pre partying rituals if you have any? When you ride solo what is your technique?

Here is one: have a wing-woman with you. Usually a close friend who is herself looking for fun times. It works great. Pretend you two are flirting or just be extra chatty with each other - you'll find that others will show interest.

Fishing is not only about having great skills. It's also about using the right bait.

[kerouac]

(08-16-2009 07:01 AM)Hangover Wrote:  

Here is one: have a wing-woman with you. Usually a close friend who is herself looking for fun times. It works great. Pretend you two are flirting or just be extra chatty with each other - you'll find that others will show interest.

Fishing is not only about having great skills. It's also about using the right bait.

Man, I wish I had a good wingman. I went to Miami earlier this year with a good friend of mine, and it was almost too easy.

Now that I'm back at my hometown, all my good friends from before are either gone or in committed relationships. Very cliche, and very gey.

Alright, so this is probably a funny topic for the "girls" forum, but where could one find a good wingman when he's relatively new somewhere. Roosh seems to have a good posse: VK, Roissy,... Did they meet through their blogs?

[Hangover]

(08-16-2009 08:47 PM)BaltimoreBachelor Wrote:  

Also note that I consistently have trouble going beyond the approach. Approaching is easy, and getting her from a deep conversation into the bedroom is easy, but going from the approach to the deep conversation is damn hard. Maybe this is a side effect of the way I approach.

Man, you're in trouble once you loose your looks and get older. Just kidding, since you're a natural then that's awesome for you.

[CPH]

(07-17-2009 01:56 PM)kerouac Wrote:  

Yeah, I'm getting back into the Game full steam and I had to take some time off from keyboard jockeying and get myself out there.

Some things I noticed:
1) KISS --> Keep it simple, stupid.
a) Chill/Relax/Be Happy
b) Fix your internal state if it needs to be fixed
c) Get out of your shell

Basically, I noticed during my "downtime" that my approaches were S.H.I.T. That's not an acronym for anything, just shit. Anyway, I was approaching girls with the mentality of trying to get something out of them. Wrong move. It never works out this way. Best way, or at least the way that's working best now, is to enjoy the moment. When I talk to a girl now, it's all about the flirt. It isn't about me wishing to jump from A -> Pussy. It's about jumping through little hurdles with them and having fun. Basically I'm shit testing girls, like they shit test chumps. It's all good, baby baby.

2) The idea of "alpha male" has way too much emphasis in the community. Or at least that's the impression I get because of Roissy's blog. Not sure.
a) First, people get way too into minute details about what is and what isn't alpha. In my opinion, it is ridiculous. Instead of trying to fit whatever trait into the word alpha in order to keep it alive, just list traits. KISS.
b) Good traits: Easy going, easy to smile, easy to ROWR, easy to get really comfortable with a girl's body

3) To go from A -> P(ussy), the goal is to live on the boundary. She knows you like/love/adore sex, but why is it you are pursuing it in this way? Why aren't you sweating over her? Why aren't you leaning in? Why aren't you an average frustrated chump? Also, why are you purposefully going against the game by saying things that are meant to fuck up your game on purpose, just to show that you could really care less about fucking her, although deep down inside there would be nothing better right now than to be deep inside of her. (sorry for the erotic lit here)

4) One thing that I had caressed up, because of a weird internal state, was eye contact and relaxed body state. Man, once that stuff got fixed, things are so much different. Body Language is god for emotional creatures. Girls can be like little pets. If you watch the dog trainer show on the animal channel you can see it. When they are bad, you pull the chain, but when they are good you give them a cookie; they respond to emotional cues.

+1

[Riker]

This hasnt worked on the street for me yet but in trains, buses, subway, and bars it has. It goes "Hey can I ask you a question?" then you can ask a random question or not and say "Actually I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you" or "Actually I just wanted to meet you" Or whatever. If you say it like you don't care it usually works. And also "If I didn't come say hi to you I'd regret it all day" works really well especially when its true and it shows your congruency.

[kerouac]

I suppose I didn't even answer my own request when I later replied to this thread, but I remember I posted this thread at a time when I was drawing blank after being in a weird mindset. I completely forgot everything, and had become a complete toad. How did everything come back all of a sudden? Well, from practice really. Not the type of practice you probably imagine though. My problem wasn't with the approach, so going out and approaching 10 girls wasn't going to do it for me, because my mindset wasn't right... so here's what happened.

1) Before the Approach: The most important thing to approach is mindset. It's hard for me to explain it, because it is like this fluid feeling I have in my brain when I have that "feeling" and when I don't, I have to pump myself up. I used to do this before by listening to a lot of positive/hi-energy music. It helps when you're around really positive people. One thing that quickly helped me, I remember, was surrounding myself with "positiveness." This sounds super-new-agey, but bear with me. What I would do is listen to good music, watch good movies, read good books, basically get my mind back in order. I had been seeking a path before, by asking questions etc, but that wasn't what I needed, I figured out. What I needed was to reconnect with myself. To find out about myself again. Connect with things that I liked.

In summary: Since I had control over certain parts of my surroundings, I did my best to do what I wanted within those parameters. Progressing. The most important thing I need in my life is knowing that things are moving forward. I don't like the stinking cesspool of mediocrity.

2) Approach: I am already pretty comfortable with the approach, because of all of the positive feedback I've gotten over the years. Of course, there has been the occasional negative feedback, but typically, if you feel good with yourself as a person, only the shittiest type of individual will give you negative feedback in an approach.

Things to remember in this section:
Body Language (which comes from feeling good about yourself, and realizing your worth) -- there's tons of info elsewhere so I won't go over this much. There is an exception to this though... I have had poor posture before, and it didn't really affect my game because what mattered was that even though I had poor posture (long hours behind a computer) my attitude was still positive and that helped.
Mojo -- What is mojo? It is knowing you can get some. It is the feeling you have when you know you're the shit. You might not be THE ABSOLUTE SHIT, which I don't believe in, because I believe in constant progress, but in your moment You Are The Shit. Say it to yourself. I'm the shit. I'm that really good shit. The shit that everyone loves. My momma loves me. My ex girlfriends loved me. I jizzed on their faces, and they still loved me. The girls I banged before loved me, but I don't care about all that because I LOVE ME. Where does this mojo come from, you might be wondering? No, it's not from having sex with a lot of women, although I'm sure it doesn't hurt... No, it comes from feeling good about yourself and realizing who you are again (remember me getting back to reading and progressing?). That's right. Feel good, baby! You deserve it!
What you say: This, to me, isn't nearly as important as the two above. If you feel good, and have a mojo glow, you can say some dumb shit and as long as you have some mojo and can get a girl to laugh, you're in. I remember once, I went up to a Brazilian girl dancing with her friend. I just went in and said I want to dance with you And took her in. She loved it. I said something about wanting to grind her booty, and she said she wasn't drunk enough for that. Again, you probably wouldn't want to say you want to grind a girl's booty normally, but I say that kind of shit all the time, and girls like it. Why? Because of Mojo. I deserve it baby!

3) After the Approach:
One thing about Mojo is assuming comfort with everybody. This is mumbo jumbo talk for just feeling good with yourself and those around you. Seek positive, and you will get positive. Feel good and people will respond to you good. With this in mind, if you got this far, it can go in many different ways depending on how the situation is escalating. I am very touchy-feely early on, and I tend to smell amazing, so in chick-logic, that means I am a guy a lot of girls wouldn't mind getting with. So from here, well, it's auto-pilot. I escalate fast, and am very direct. I don't care what other people think, because I zone in on the girl. Whenever I'm in my own world the world revolves around me. I don't believe in "The Secret" or whatever, so no, I don't think you can WANT your way into a new career, but you CAN "WANT" your way into a girl's pants. Trust me.

[CJ]

Nice post Kerouac.