[818]

Say you # close. Day game. Really good interaction...lets say 10:10 with loads of ioi (eg. cmplimenting you and such - positive vibe/chemistry). You shoot her text with a tease you'd build. She responds positively. You leave it at that. Next day you hit her up with a "swing by" I'm doing this and that (something fun). No response.

Above is the latest scenario. Happens ones in a while.

I usually just forget about her. But I'm wondering if that's the right approach and if it's salvageable.

What do you do... and most importantly: how often does it work?

NOTE: Not really looking for what could have been done during the approach but rather what could be done after they go cold in situations as the above (when you haven't seen them a 2nd time yet).

[kinjutsu]

When/if a girl goes cold on you, go talk to other girls.
Spending any amount of time thinking about a girl that you aren't fucking AND that doens't want to fuck you is wasted potential.

[818]

So no approach, as far as you're concerned. That's a generic response in the pua community I see.

[ShuaiGe]

@818
Where did you tell her to "swing by" to? If you told her to come to your house to watch a movie, because everyone knows what that means, you may have scared her off and depending on the amount of effort you're willing to invest in this girl, that may be a good thing.

For those who are already over the hump of learning the boldness required to make a move and learning the necessity of spinning plates, the next step is to learn to balance between investing (time/dates/mental energy) in girls who will probably put out, and filtering out those girls who will not.

You see there are girls who will fuck you on the first date depending on if you play your cards right, and there are girls who won't fuck you until you've spent so much time with them or proved yourself to them, like a lot of time.

Whether it's because she's frigid, prude, or overly moral, the outcome is the same for these types of girls who make men wait, unless you fit what she's specifically looking for from you. You need to filter these girls out and move on to the next ones.

That's why getting rejected when you make a move shouldn't hurt your feelings, it helps you get laid faster.

However, there is a balance. You need to take the mile inch by inch. If she gives you the inch and you immediately go for the whole mile then you might be spoiling your chances with a girl who would go to bed with you but she just wants to feel closer first or needs to be able to justify her behavior to herself, or its a matter of luck or logistics, she's on her period, whatever, but there is a reasonable time for some girls and there just isn't for others.

But also you need to be able to forecast if that night is coming within an acceptable amount of time and effort from you.

This is why going for at least the kiss the first date is so important. It helps you judge when and if it will happen.

You will find that your ability to sense when a girl will and won't fuck you in the future will improve with time, but will never be perfect due to the unpredictable and emotional nature of women.

There will be many a bitch who will waste your time, that's inevitable, but the trick is to cut her off before she can leech too much from from you. That's what Kinjutsu meant, I think.

Edit: I want to mention, texting sucks, go ahead and ask her if she wants to come watch a movie at your house with you, but do it in person when she's already turned on and you have the chance to bring her over right at that time. I suggest you use texting only as a way to arrange a date, or to keep the appearance of maintained contact, real progress cannot be made while texting, in my opinion.

Edit Edit: Don't go over the line from relationship building (max: kissing) and into the beginning of sex (min: making out) until you have an opportunity for you both to choose to go all the way to sex. I read your other thread.

Long story short, it's a balancing act. I strongly recommend you read The Mystery Method, it will help you. Good luck.

[Tinder Scientist]

It is super hard to revive something when they go cold, you just have to accept it and move on, don't even message her asking what happened.
If you ask what happened or go for the infamous beta triple message you are dead on the water 100%. If you don't message her I would say 9/10 times it is dead for sure but she might message you. If you wait a couple weeks and maybe message her ONCE, it is still not a good move but sometimes (rarely) works.

It is kind of a paradox because if you don't message her she will most likely forget about you but if you do you look like a needy bitch who has no one else to think about.

I think most people on this forum have had the experience of having a girl in the bag, planning the meet, and then the day before the meet she goes cold and you never meet.

One thing I like to do sometimes if we are not meeting soon or I have a feeling she is not receptive is go cold on her preemptively so I can then message her when I'm ready to meet with a funny/interesting message.
I once banged a girl after 5 months of not responding to her by saying "Sorry, I fell asleep"

I'm not into social media but I guess Instagram is good for reviving cold leads too, she might see your story/pictures and reignite interest that way.

[Cobra]

Move on.

Edit: We are not the PUA community. We're men.

[yang2287]

I am currently experimenting a technique to predict a lead that wants to go cold and go cool her down properly.

I noticed after a number close and setting a specific date to meet up that is not same day or next day some girls get cold feet after a few days and have cancelled on me, especially when the date is 1 week after the number close. (The are online girls btw). Of course they had several other guys scheduled before my date and maybe they choose someone before me and decide to cancel on me, but i'm very sure she will be back on the dating market in 3-4 weeks (after her next period)

I normally do not text girls between the day the date is fixed and the date confirmation a 12-24 hours to the date so i think these girls would have rationalized, thought it over, met someone else and got cold feet.

The idea is simple, if I number close a girl and want to set a date, if she is down for same day meet up or next day meet up we are good. If she insists she is not free until after 1 week, I propose to DHV by telling her i am travelling to a conference, work etc and will not be back in the city for 2-3 weeks. I seriously believe a lead does not go cold on a same day meet up or next day meet up. If a few days pass between meeting a girl and number close, her feelings change, she gets horny, meets another dude, not really feeling the same way as when you met her.

Sorta pre-empt the cold feet, cool down the lead and after 3-4 weeks of no contact or texting, shoot a message that you're back in the city and if she is free for drinks tonight or tommorow night so it's back on.

I am proposing this because i kind of expirienced it with a few girls where i was really travelling and had to postpone the date a few weeks out and it was much smoother meet up on my return without really texting in between and i wasn't really tracking this. now i will be tracking this method to see what gives.

I believe this kind of technique could plant a seed in her head cool down her anxieties but at the same time not kill the attraction by over texting. Kind of a neutral zone of feeling, but the real game starts with in-person meet up.

Kind of a girl expecting Amazon to deliver a new box of shoes in 3-4 weeks

[Hypno]

You have to deal in large numbers. This lets you be bold and not worry about the result in any particular case.

Infrequent, minimal communication. Maybe a single emoji or a picture of tacos. Space it one week, then two weeks, then 3-4. Any more frequent or more words is counter productive.

Holidays you can go back and send a holiday greeting. Happy Presidents Day baby!

Go through your cold contacts once a week. Wednesdays are good because girls are trying to lock down plans. Weekends also.

[mona2200]

(01-18-2019 07:14 AM)Hypno Wrote:  

You have to deal in large numbers. This lets you be bold and not worry about the result in any particular case.

Infrequent, minimal communication. Maybe a single emoji or a picture of tacos. Space it one week, then two weeks, then 3-4. Any more frequent or more words is counter productive.

Holidays you can go back and send a holiday greeting. Happy Presidents Day baby!

Go through your cold contacts once a week. Wednesdays are good because girls are trying to lock down plans. Weekends also.

Yes i agree with you, this is true my friend

[wonderman]

I wish there was an app who automatically deleted contacts if they don't respond anymore. Kind of like tinder, where the match is gone and you probably don't even notice it because you have multiple chats. Such an app would help a lot.

I was ghosted hundreds of times in my life. Still have a hard time dealing with those women, especially because I myself never ever ghosted a person in my life, besides of online contacts I never met.

However, ideally of course, you just focus on the next girls.

[mona2200]

(01-19-2019 10:02 AM)wonderman Wrote:  

I wish there was an app who automatically deleted contacts if they don't respond anymore. Kind of like tinder, where the match is gone and you probably don't even notice it because you have multiple chats. Such an app would help a lot.
Notepad++ Malwarebytes FileZilla
I was ghosted hundreds of times in my life. Still have a hard time dealing with those women, especially because I myself never ever ghosted a person in my life, besides of online contacts I never met.

However, ideally of course, you just focus on the next girls.

It is kind of a paradox because if you don't message her she will most likely forget about you but if you do you look like a needy bitch who has no one else to think about.

[bigbadpua]

I usually send out the "Have you been kidnapped?!" line. There are some other variations. It is worth a shot, especially if you copy/paste it on your laptop and send it out to a few cold leads.

Other things is, why did you say "swing by at .." Default should be to set up a date at X place at Y time/day after a few texts. There is good YouTube videos by Todd, Tom Torero and others on that matter.

[Scoundrel]

I fondly recall the days when, if you asked a girl out and she wasn't interested, she'd cook up some cockamamie excuse in an effort to spare your feelings.

It was called "letting you down easy," and while it often led to confusion on the part of the guy, the action was rooted in a genuine desire to prevent him from feeling rejected.

Today, girls could not possibly give less of a shit about you. If they're not interested, they just ignore you.

The really weird thing is you can have a great initial interaction with a girl, and even a great text exchange. Then when you suggest meeting up, the conversation suddenly goes dead.

[Tinder Scientist]

(01-20-2019 12:41 AM)Scoundrel Wrote:  

I fondly recall the days when, if you asked a girl out and she wasn't interested, she'd cook up some cockamamie excuse in an effort to spare your feelings.

It was called "letting you down easy," and while it often led to confusion on the part of the guy, the action was rooted in a genuine desire to prevent him from feeling rejected.

Today, girls could not possibly give less of a shit about you. If they're not interested, they just ignore you.

The really weird thing is you can have a great initial interaction with a girl, and even a great text exchange. Then when you suggest meeting up, the conversation suddenly goes dead.

End result is the same. Why do you want a girl to lie to you?
Only time someone "owes" you a message is when you set up a date and most people do send a message to cancel.

[Tinder Scientist]

(01-19-2019 02:50 PM)mona2200 Wrote:  

(01-19-2019 10:02 AM)wonderman Wrote:  

I wish there was an app who automatically deleted contacts if they don't respond anymore. Kind of like tinder, where the match is gone and you probably don't even notice it because you have multiple chats. Such an app would help a lot.
Notepad++ Malwarebytes FileZilla
I was ghosted hundreds of times in my life. Still have a hard time dealing with those women, especially because I myself never ever ghosted a person in my life, besides of online contacts I never met.

However, ideally of course, you just focus on the next girls.

It is kind of a paradox because if you don't message her she will most likely forget about you but if you do you look like a needy bitch who has no one else to think about.

Mona200,why did you copy paste the same thing I said in my post?
Seems like you are reposting other people's posts

[TIOT12]

I believe I got this from Tom Torero but I will sometimes just do a text message of "hmm..." after a previous message was ignored. This will sometimes get a few women to respond again. It is nice because it doesn't come across as high investment or needy but still is enough of a challenge to her to respond without being pushy.

I also like the idea of following up with cold leads after a few months. A certain percentage will be able to be reopened and doing something around a certain holiday does seem like an easy way to do it too.

[Graft]

The far and away best way to keep leads warm when they are not active is to have them on your social media. If she is looking at your posts your face and life is in her mind.

Small odds of being completely missing for weeks or months and getting just a text to convert.