Ok i currently have a gf she makes 6 figures is genuinaly a good person, family orientated loyal, submissive etc. But just like me my good friend is hanging out with a chick who won't put out. Nice girl but wont give him sny pvssy. He takes her out and half the time she offers to pay so i dont think she is using him for money etc. But when she sleeps at his house she wont put out. Only mskeout and hes sucked her tits etc. Its been like 2 months and he still hasnt banged. He said he's reached down there and fingered her but she always pull it back and will not let him go further. I told him to drop her asap as that happened to me and i got ghosted to never hear from her again. He is a pretty decent looking guy in shape has a good style. But i think homegirl is just playing the game with him. I want to steer him in the right direction as he's a good guy. What advice should i give?
What advice should i give?
With your record:
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Mind your own business, and work on yourself.
thread-71222.html
thread-69422.html
thread-69124.html
Mind your own business, and work on yourself.
I agree i have a horrible record. But ive recently purchased a house and have a great gf now ive done a 180.
If you're with a girl for 2 months trying to bang and you still haven't... something is up.
A. Virgin/conservative girl that is not feeling his game
B. Looking for investment and using push/pull to secure a provider
C. Doesn't view friend as relationship material/time wasting
Without knowing details and assuming said friend is not on top of his game (2 months and still trying with no bang... really?) I would say kick her down to a plate and go pursue different leads.
A. Virgin/conservative girl that is not feeling his game
B. Looking for investment and using push/pull to secure a provider
C. Doesn't view friend as relationship material/time wasting
Without knowing details and assuming said friend is not on top of his game (2 months and still trying with no bang... really?) I would say kick her down to a plate and go pursue different leads.
A. Wouldnt think she is a virgin. She apperently had a bf for multiple years prior who was a and she said "piece of shit"
B. Heard Through the grape vine she has done this with other guys. Massive tease apperantly.
C. Could be it. Very nice girl in person but also seems kinda sneaky. Always making excuses to not hang out with him.
He makes good money and has banged a fair share of woman. Hes a good lookin guy and really really likes this chick i just dont wanna be the bearer of bad news to him. Hes bern theough alot recently.
B. Heard Through the grape vine she has done this with other guys. Massive tease apperantly.
C. Could be it. Very nice girl in person but also seems kinda sneaky. Always making excuses to not hang out with him.
He makes good money and has banged a fair share of woman. Hes a good lookin guy and really really likes this chick i just dont wanna be the bearer of bad news to him. Hes bern theough alot recently.
“Have fun”
Quote: (12-03-2018 11:26 AM)kross1989 Wrote:
A. Wouldnt think she is a virgin. She apperently had a bf for multiple years prior who was a and she said "piece of shit"
B. Heard Through the grape vine she has done this with other guys. Massive tease apperantly.
C. Could be it. Very nice girl in person but also seems kinda sneaky. Always making excuses to not hang out with him.
He makes good money and has banged a fair share of woman. Hes a good lookin guy and really really likes this chick i just dont wanna be the bearer of bad news to him. Hes bern theough alot recently.
Unfortunately for some guys girls will put them in the "LTR Box" when he checks off her requirements for a boyfriend and she thinks she can lure him into a relationship by withholding sex.
By all means these girls are playing the dating game THE RIGHT WAY, for her that is.
Like the old saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" she knows that her value is largely dependent on sex and she needs to put a price on it. Her price for sex is commitment.
If you don't have a strong frame from the beginning and make the mistake of failing a few of her shit tests, you're gonna have a lot of work getting sex before she feels like she has gained enough commitment from you.
Personally, not knowing anything about the situation other than what you said, I would do this in his shoes:
1. Figure out what exactly she is looking for (relationship, casual, etc.)
- Most of the time girls will be up front about what they want, UNLESS she says something like "I'm not sure, just looking for the right guy"
which in that case means that she is definitely fishing for commitment.
2. Limit rewards (compliments & positive reactions) to when she is being sexual and
place an emphasis on the sexual part of the relationship.
3. Wait until issue arises (stops advances or says she wants to wait) then give her
THE TRUTH about what you want & expect from the relationship.
Example: "Look, I enjoy spending time with you but I don't know what I want and I'm not used to relationships where things are rushed without getting physical and I'm not comfortable with that."
4. Gauge her reaction. She might stay firm in her ways, which means that you are free to pursue other girls.
She might apologize, which in that case you will say "okay" and push off further physical contact and end the date by saying it's late or that you have something to do.
It's crucial not to come off as manipulating her for sex, you have to pose the issue to her and then let her think "Is playing games and holding back sex worth losing this guy?"
After considering this... she'll either decide that he is worth the sex to secure the chances at a relationship, or that it's a bust and she needs to move on to the next guy.
Either way, it is a win-win by making sure that you are not wasting your time by staying obscure with your wishes.
Seems like she’s not into him as much as one may think.
Never been in this situation, per se, though I once got chatting to a chick m, went back to hers, we kissed and fondled but she didn’t let me hit. No biggy.
She then moved back to her main town and we lost contact. As for you mate, let him do his thing, the penny will drop eventually
Never been in this situation, per se, though I once got chatting to a chick m, went back to hers, we kissed and fondled but she didn’t let me hit. No biggy.
She then moved back to her main town and we lost contact. As for you mate, let him do his thing, the penny will drop eventually
He brought what they were and her words were "this conversation gives me anxiety." She doesnt post on social media and doesnt seem to have much of a friend group. She is a nice girl from what i can see. She does like to get super drunk and seems very to herself. I think shes having fun and talking to multiple dudes. I have heard stories about her doing this to other guys not having sex etc. So i dont know. Chick is a mystery cant really find much on her to be honest.
She also told her cousin she wanted it to be casual i literally just told homeboy about this info. So she is doing everything with dude but sex. She has already ghosted him apparantly lol. She hasnt answered or talked to him in 4 days. But hasnt deleted him on social media. But also stopped viewings his snap story. Same shit happened to me to a t. I told him completely drop her. He was just bekng used and she gives 0 fucks.
She also told her cousin she wanted it to be casual i literally just told homeboy about this info. So she is doing everything with dude but sex. She has already ghosted him apparantly lol. She hasnt answered or talked to him in 4 days. But hasnt deleted him on social media. But also stopped viewings his snap story. Same shit happened to me to a t. I told him completely drop her. He was just bekng used and she gives 0 fucks.
She like to get super drunk around your friend, you say? I don't think that's a good recipe for someone who's probably roasting.
Based on your last sentences, I think it's a wrap for him. Tell him to suck it up and keep it stepping. Plenty more chicks out there.
Based on your last sentences, I think it's a wrap for him. Tell him to suck it up and keep it stepping. Plenty more chicks out there.
Yea she gets wasted he told not exactly falling kver wasted but pretty damn drunk. At night he said theyll make out but thats all she will do.
Sounds like a time waster & your friend needs to next her for sure.
I 100% agree i told him woman like that are a waste of time and she is just playing him.
Apperantly she literally moved in with a dude and not once out out..... i dont know what the fuck thats all about but she is a con artist.
Apperantly she literally moved in with a dude and not once out out..... i dont know what the fuck thats all about but she is a con artist.
Awesome post Golden God, would love to have read it back when i had this problem myself. Had a thing going with a beautiful shy virgin girl that wouldn't put out no matter how many dates we went on and how much i made her comfortable. She also wanted to be "in a relationship" before advancing to sex. She didn't say it directly but i felt that's what she wanted, which is weird because every relationship i know from my friends started with sex. Can you please explain what you mean with this part?
My mistake is that i came off unintentionally as a guy who just wanted sex from her, because i pushed for it after countless dates of getting bored of her games. But i think i did it in a wrong way and she closed off more. The steps we had taken forward suddenly went back to start. She said "i feel like the only thing you want is sex, and that you will leave me after you get it" after being fed up with dates with just kissing and in the end i got bored of seeing her and not so excited as in the beginning because i knew no matter what i did, it would be the same date scenario over and over again. She would reject my escalation for touching her. So i started getting annoyed and maybe it showed in me. So now she thought i was only after the sex.
Whats the best way to act in such a scenario, without coming off manipulating her for sex? Else than making her realize she will lose me soon if she dont put out.
Quote: (12-03-2018 04:35 PM)The Golden God Wrote:
It's crucial not to come off as manipulating her for sex, you have to pose the issue to her and then let her think "Is playing games and holding back sex worth losing this guy?"
After considering this... she'll either decide that he is worth the sex to secure the chances at a relationship, or that it's a bust and she needs to move on to the next guy.
My mistake is that i came off unintentionally as a guy who just wanted sex from her, because i pushed for it after countless dates of getting bored of her games. But i think i did it in a wrong way and she closed off more. The steps we had taken forward suddenly went back to start. She said "i feel like the only thing you want is sex, and that you will leave me after you get it" after being fed up with dates with just kissing and in the end i got bored of seeing her and not so excited as in the beginning because i knew no matter what i did, it would be the same date scenario over and over again. She would reject my escalation for touching her. So i started getting annoyed and maybe it showed in me. So now she thought i was only after the sex.
Whats the best way to act in such a scenario, without coming off manipulating her for sex? Else than making her realize she will lose me soon if she dont put out.
I dont think homegirl is doing that to him. I think she has an std, has been abused and is deeply damaged but doesnt show it, or just literally doesnt like sex because she will make out with homeboy all night and let him do other things. (Play with her tits) but will not allow him to go down there. If she is damaged she doesnt show it. Like i said she is very sweet and to herself. Ive heard her family is pretty messed up. But idk. I literally just told him to stop texting and pursue other chicks immediately.
@chvrches
I'm glad you could use my advice.
It is definitely not direct, there is a finesse to it and a little bit of lying on your part.
I recommend framing the issue as if you want a connection with this girl, but her withholding intimacy is driving a wedge in the dynamic. Don't say this out loud, but keep the purpose in your head while you are interacting with her.
Girls think that if they use the whole "Well let's see where things go and take it slow" route then a guy will commit to them (which has probably worked out for these girls in the past, hence why they do it).
But, for that to work the guy has to be very committed to them.
If you've been all over her, obviously being pushy for sex the whole time and not holding an aloof frame, then you're not gonna have much success.
Girls like this are a pain in the ass most of the time, but they can be counteracted by a man holding strong frame. I look at it like this:
The only way to win at a game that is unfair, is to not play it at all.
When I've found myself in the same situation this is I do:
I tell her that I've had fun with her but I'm looking for a mature relationship. This puts her on the defensive, defending that she is capable of a mature relationship.
Don't directly bring up sex unless she does, and if she does just say that "Yeah, that's part of it but I don't think you realize what I'm saying". She will most likely get exactly what you are talking about when you say you need a mature relationship, let her fill in the blanks.
Become distant from her, act like there is no point in making out with her and let her start physically initiating on you.
Once again, this requires some finesse and can't be done in a way that makes you look like an angry kid pouting because he's not getting what he wants. You want to inspire dread in her, to make her feel like you are slipping away from her and she needs to act to lock you down.
I'll give a short example of something I've done when I'm with a girl like this:
If you're watching netflix or whatever at your house and you're making out, pull away and start looking at the screen and scrolling through things with your bedroom face on.
Don't say a word, when she asks what you are doing reply with:
"I need to find something to interest me, I'm starting to fall asleep"
9/10 she's gonna take offense to you insinuating she's boring.
Play the dread game in this way when you're with her, make her start working for your affection and she'll either get the point and put out, or she'll decide that you aren't worth her giving up sex to and you'll avoid a huge time sink.
Play it up as much as you want, because you want to be polarizing. You want to get rid of her if she's going to try to withhold sex as soon as possible, while nudging girls that are on the fence to step up their game or risk losing you.
I'm glad you could use my advice.
Quote: (12-04-2018 04:53 PM)chvrches Wrote:
Whats the best way to act in such a scenario, without coming off manipulating her for sex? Else than making her realize she will lose me soon if she dont put out.
It is definitely not direct, there is a finesse to it and a little bit of lying on your part.
I recommend framing the issue as if you want a connection with this girl, but her withholding intimacy is driving a wedge in the dynamic. Don't say this out loud, but keep the purpose in your head while you are interacting with her.
Girls think that if they use the whole "Well let's see where things go and take it slow" route then a guy will commit to them (which has probably worked out for these girls in the past, hence why they do it).
But, for that to work the guy has to be very committed to them.
If you've been all over her, obviously being pushy for sex the whole time and not holding an aloof frame, then you're not gonna have much success.
Girls like this are a pain in the ass most of the time, but they can be counteracted by a man holding strong frame. I look at it like this:
The only way to win at a game that is unfair, is to not play it at all.
When I've found myself in the same situation this is I do:
I tell her that I've had fun with her but I'm looking for a mature relationship. This puts her on the defensive, defending that she is capable of a mature relationship.
Don't directly bring up sex unless she does, and if she does just say that "Yeah, that's part of it but I don't think you realize what I'm saying". She will most likely get exactly what you are talking about when you say you need a mature relationship, let her fill in the blanks.
Become distant from her, act like there is no point in making out with her and let her start physically initiating on you.
Once again, this requires some finesse and can't be done in a way that makes you look like an angry kid pouting because he's not getting what he wants. You want to inspire dread in her, to make her feel like you are slipping away from her and she needs to act to lock you down.
I'll give a short example of something I've done when I'm with a girl like this:
If you're watching netflix or whatever at your house and you're making out, pull away and start looking at the screen and scrolling through things with your bedroom face on.
Don't say a word, when she asks what you are doing reply with:
"I need to find something to interest me, I'm starting to fall asleep"
9/10 she's gonna take offense to you insinuating she's boring.
Play the dread game in this way when you're with her, make her start working for your affection and she'll either get the point and put out, or she'll decide that you aren't worth her giving up sex to and you'll avoid a huge time sink.
Play it up as much as you want, because you want to be polarizing. You want to get rid of her if she's going to try to withhold sex as soon as possible, while nudging girls that are on the fence to step up their game or risk losing you.
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