[Kharn]

This might not be anything new for some of you, but I feel like sharing some recent events that happened with me and this cute 20 years old 10/10 I met not long ago (she is 9 months older than me).
Before anything, have in mind that I'm still in college as a freshman and I won't have a job until next semester, so I'm nothing special in terms of social value except that I'm well connected and have a strong inner game for most of the time.

Now to the story. I met this chick through facebook, at first I thought that she was cute and nice because we have the same tastes in absolute everything. But I didn't let these feelings get over my head (have to thank you guys for that and all the info on this forum and some books).
Here is the annoying part, I usually talk about commom stuff with chicks through facebook, after a few texts I procede to get her number and invite her out through whatsapp, this usually works except on this chick because she just broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to talk more before meeting (red flag, I know, but she gave me her number at least).

Usually I would have let her go but I really wanted this notch, and she had the potencial to become a future girlfriend (Stupid oneitis getting in the way so soon), so I played her game, specially because I have this childhood friend who always plays slow with girls he meets through facebook, he usally gets girlfriends just doing that, so he told me to wait a little and to be patient. This kept going on for 2 weeks, if you guys have some girlfriends on facebook, some who are into you and some who are not, with time you become able to tell if she is being friendly or if she really likes you, I had my doubts but they were obliterated after she started to drop some innuendos about us dating and said without any problem how much she liked me and wanted us to meet.

Up to this saturday, after these bothersome 2 weeks, she called me for a date. Now have in mind would you that I had called her 3 times up to this point and she refused 1 and went deadly silent on the other 2. Usually she would appear 1 day after saying that she still wanted to meet, I could sense her love for me in the phone calls she always made, and when I hang up on her so soon or didn't pick up at all she would go Berserker on me, so I just told her to ask me out when she felt ready.

So finally the night arrived, I was just about to get ready to go (just finished my shower) and she texts ''change of plans''. Before I continue you guys need to understand I grow up with a lot of insecurities because I have hyperhidrosis, these insecurities had been dormant up to this point but I accidently let it slip... AND IT COSTED

She was into me because I kept a good frame with her, being playing and everything but after she dropped that bullshit I didn't even gave her time to explain, I just exploded her with some really stupid texts and it's needles to say she lost all attraction she had. After a few days she comes back talking to me for some reason, I thought this was a lost cause but she came back, turns out she really liked me but things haven't being the same, now she just doesn't want me again and the worst part is that she was DTF, she has this pale skin, fine thin waist with nice face, huge ass and big breasts and a long black hair (half japanese and half european).
I told her yesterday that if she wanted to leave my life, I wouldn't stop her, and if she came back, she better come with her mind set. (I kinda said this with hopes that she wouldn't perceive me as a needy person like I showed saturday and would come back to me eventually, but the right mindset is to do it really meaning it, without any hopes up, but you guys know how oneitis are).

I hope you guys can feel my pain through this so I'm just gonna go to the point.

NEVER allow your insecurities to take the best of you
Specially before you make out or hook up with her (I bet that if I had banged her before showing this pathetic side of me the situation would have been different).

Remember this: If you are secure, you have a chance of banging and a chance of not banging. Now if you show your insecurities, you simply won't get laid at all.

I hope you guys can take something out of it, that's it.

PS: I great way to build attraction online, at least with these girls that want to know you better is through teasing, It works like a charm!

[torridon747]

What the fuck did I just read?

[victorfrank]

You just shared a personal real experiece, so kudos for that. Im sure at least one guy will find it a great help for his future endeavor.

[dknightbro]

This actually touches upon an intermediate/advanced concept: persistence.

What is good persistence in game? Continuously hitting up the girl without blowing your cool.

My view of game has changed drastically having been experimenting in the field.

The being non-needy / playing it cool is a hugely destructive force to advancing in game. It's great for beginners (getting rid of simp inner game + consequent simp behaviors), but when you're ~intermediate stage you really need to start persisting on your leads.

You can persist & get positive feedback because you are inherently non-needy. Girls really don't care if you reply an hour earlier than you "should" have to appear non-needy. I repeat: appearing non-needy is a beginner tactic & HUGELY destructive for intermediate game. I still appreciate & respect the results of practicing non-needy game, but you really need to drop it & go for the jugular once you've internalized non-needy mindset / behavior.

Like you noticed, had you continued your persistence & not blown your cool you should still be able to progress.

That's cool though, we all live & learn.

[Kharn]

(05-10-2018 03:49 AM)dknightbro Wrote:  

This actually touches upon an intermediate/advanced concept: persistence.

What is good persistence in game? Continuously hitting up the girl without blowing your cool.

My view of game has changed drastically having been experimenting in the field.

The being non-needy / playing it cool is a hugely destructive force to advancing in game. It's great for beginners (getting rid of simp inner game + consequent simp behaviors), but when you're ~intermediate stage you really need to start persisting on your leads.

You can persist & get positive feedback because you are inherently non-needy. Girls really don't care if you reply an hour earlier than you "should" have to appear non-needy. I repeat: appearing non-needy is a beginner tactic & HUGELY destructive for intermediate game. I still appreciate & respect the results of practicing non-needy game, but you really need to drop it & go for the jugular once you've internalized non-needy mindset / behavior.

Like you noticed, had you continued your persistence & not blown your cool you should still be able to progress.

That's cool though, we all live & learn.

That's exactly what I've been doing for the last 2 weeks, that said, it's getting harder to keep it cool but I guess this girl will take some time and I'm seeing another girl meanwhile, but I really want this one, I can't stop blaming myself for the fact that if I hadn't fucked things up I would be waking up with her right now.

[Kharn]

I'm relatively new to game so basically after this post and a little more playing in the field I had just realized the difference between attraction and actually liking someone... I wish I knew that earlier.

It's getting harder to game this girl, sometimes I feel I'm gonna go mad just out of pure jealously or because she is not as affective as before I fucked things up, I can't stop thinking I'm gonna fuck up my frame eventually.

[Greenjacket]

I respect the author's perspective on this but honestly speaking this girl was never DTF with the author. If she was DTF she would actually make the effort to meet up and get fucked. If she is as attractive as you stated then she is constantly getting hit on by guys and has a ton of opitions. When I was a kid around 19 I would eventually get one pitty fuck for being persistent and that was it; the girl would move on. That left me more messed up until I realized that is how beta orbiters function. Orbiters keep making excuses for why these women flake until they get a pitty bang. Sorry, but you missed out on nothing. Now get over your insecurities and go bang the next chick.

[torridon747]

What makes this girl so special?

Do you honestly think she has any amount of qualities that can't be found in anyone else? What is this the bitch that can cure cancer with her pussy or something? Does she have the only fat ass you ever seen? Do her titties leak vintage scotch instead of milk? The answer is fucking no. Your brain is tricking you with chemicals and it's winning. You're not paying attention to what matters.

To me it just seems like some random bitch that won't give you the time of day. Whilw you're spinning your wheels doting on her she's plotting on someone elses cock, and if she's realistic she'll get it. If she's not she'll settle for 2nd best, or 3rd best, or 4th best etc. However, I doubt any of them will be you and even if they are do you really want to be the guy she just settled on and would leave if #1 or #2 came back?

Fuck her, forget about it. Go find some other girl that worships your cock and fucks you like she's grateful to have the oppertunuity to have a chance at getting your seed. You're torturing yourself with this bullshit.

I've made so many game mistakes with plates and LTRs man. Embarrassing stuff like let my jealousy show, treated a girl like I would die without her, even acted like a bitch from time to time. Most the girls I made mistakes with have moved on, a few were down as fuck for me and still are. And even if they weren't there's a good girl right around the corner that will be down.

Don't beat yourself up just learn and go next. No need for this intense regret crap.

[Kharn]

I agree with all those points you guys made, but it's not like I actually want her that bad. I'm more pissed about the fact that she was DTF, was making plans for our date herself, but them her family problem came (that's why she changed plans) and I blew it all alway by being a insecure whiner.
It's more like guilty and regret than actually caring for her. Something like ''If I don't fix this I'm gonna keep hating on myself.''

[Greenjacket]

You would have felt worse banging her then her turning cold on you and acting like it never happened.

[dknightbro]

(05-11-2018 09:16 AM)Kharn Wrote:  

That's exactly what I've been doing for the last 2 weeks, that said, it's getting harder to keep it cool but I guess this girl will take some time and I'm seeing another girl meanwhile, but I really want this one, I can't stop blaming myself for the fact that if I hadn't fucked things up I would be waking up with her right now.

I can just say I hope you change this mindset eventually.

Because you are in for a WORLD of pain if close calls get you worked up. I can't even count how many close calls I've had with girls only to have the lead drop because I made one tiny nuanced mistake in game.

I consider myself pretty patient when learning things, but even game has tested me to my very core.

I'm actually kind of in a funk now even though I have several leads responding positively. The funk is because I have been beaten down so many times by close calls & near misses, but here I am again like in a deja vu.

Then again, my case may not apply to you because I am focused on the game itself, not the girls. Which means I am willing to experiment & sacrifice leads for the sake of learning. The pro is I have improved consistency in each stage, but moving to the next stage takes a long time since I'm practicing the prev stage so much.

[Hypno]

A few observations.

First, she wasn't that into you. At some point you have to draw the line. Persistence beyond that line is just being a doormat to her.

Second, she's not a 10. That's your oneitis.

Third, what you need to do is have 10 or 20 of these going at a time. When one hits, you won't be concerned about the other 19 that don't hit. That's what this girl did with you. The other 19 didn't hit and you were "persistent" so she called you up as a back up plan. When something better came through, she flaked on you.