[Brodiaga]

(01-21-2018 12:51 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

She has texted 60 times since this morning with all kinds of threats.

Just block her number.

[PapayaTapper]

What kind of threats?

[Themin]

time to move on mate.
Reminds me of the previous ukrainian girl I was with (lasted 6 months only because she was a squirter )

[Skank_Hunt]

(01-25-2018 04:27 AM)Themin Wrote:  

time to move on mate.
Reminds me of the previous ukrainian girl I was with (lasted 6 months only because she was a squirter )

Knew this would come in at some point.

In all seriousness, though, are you banging her like tomorrow is the end of the world? Have you been licking her asshole?

[Chetthebaker]

The threats are textbook narcissistic personality disorder stuff, just like the suitcase bullshit and the "you promised!!!" shit. These people have grandiose delusions of their own power and place in the world, and use it to manipulate people unfortunate enough to be involved with them.

You've done the right thing by going no contact. These desperate attempts to get you to respond only prove further how deep her issues are.

[birthday cat]

(01-21-2018 09:08 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  

Just thought I'd give a quick update on this situation. I'm currently going no contact on this girl, or very minimal contact, and disentangling myself from the relationship.

(01-21-2018 12:51 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

I wondered if I was just a utility to her.

She still has you a little hooked. Forget about "very minimal contact" and stick with no contact. It doesn't matter if you were "just a utility to her" or not. It doesn't matter and you will never know because you are incapable of thinking in the same way as a crazy woman.

I suggest that you consider what I wrote in another thread about a similar situation.

(01-26-2018 11:18 AM)birthday cat Wrote:  

People with BPD and NPD tendencies are skilled manipulators and vindictive. You have to go no contact and cut people like this out of your life completely because they will work very hard to create problems for you and torture you emotionally. People like this have a strong need to hurt you, specifically in a similar way to how they have been hurt.

This is another case where I think we have to take a step back and realize that we can never fully understand how women think or how crazy people think. It may seem ridiculously illogical to us but it is very reasonable for this type of person to continue spending months or even years with you and continue having sex with you while they are plotting how to torture you and ruin your life.

[Themin]

(01-27-2018 02:40 AM)Skank_Hunt Wrote:  

(01-25-2018 04:27 AM)Themin Wrote:  

time to move on mate.
Reminds me of the previous ukrainian girl I was with (lasted 6 months only because she was a squirter )

Knew this would come in at some point.

In all seriousness, though, are you banging her like tomorrow is the end of the world? Have you been licking her asshole?

uh? have not spoken to her for about a year... why?

[BlastbeatCasanova]

Man I hoped you jumped ship....two words: Latin girls

[griffinmill]

First off I want to make it clear that I'm pathetic for bumping this thread, but I'm literally at a loss and need some tough love.

It's been 3-4 months of no contact with this girl. In that time I have travelled, hung out with friends, and banged 5 other women. I'm now dating a cute 26 year old Polish girl who is sweet and pleasant, with long-term potential.

But I'm still a fucking wreck about the girl I started this thread about. I simply cannot get over it, and I'm sick of thinking about her 24 hours a fucking day. As mentioned in the No Contact thread, I thought I had her blocked on all social media - well, I didn't, and yesterday she had liked a picture of me on Instagram - a picture of me with a current plate. This set off a chain of torment and a sleepless night. It was either manipulation on her part, or a friendly gesture, but it killed me.

I cannot work out why I've feel so strongly about this girl, but all I can think of is when I first met her, before things went down the fucking toilet, how happy I was. There was something different; chemistry, pheromones, who the fuck knows.

Our last conversation where she broke up with me for not fighting for her hard enough rattles around in my head. I alternate between thinking she was correct, but then realising there were way too many red flags and my gut was right.

She has a new boyfriend now, of course.

I'm a total pussy. I can't even dress this up any other way. I've never had a chick affect me in this manner before, and it has fucked me up royally.

How in God's name do you get through this?

[ProGambler]

Bro, she's a game playing slut with crap ambitions like moving to Paris. Totally block her out of your life and don't waste your time with this current girl who you seem ambivalent to.

[kuqezi]

You obviously have a oneitis for this girl and it's obvious!
You are clearly putting her not on a pedestal but on top of the fucking Everest (her spell must be strong on you).
It looks like she is hotter than the actual polish girl, otherwise all this would make no sense.

In my humble opinion:

- If you like the polish girl so much than do spend some more time with her. Fuck her like no tomorrow and enjoy the quality time.

- (If you can afford it) Plan a new trip somewhere new either alone or with the polish girl. (New trips/places have a cool psychological effect on the brain/mind)

- Concentrate more on your work/business and try to hit hard on the next goal here and how to achieve it in half the time.

This last one I halfheartedly say since it might not be a good option but it will have a good fast effect:

- Try to bang some new, younger, better quality pussy soon...nothing's hotter than new hot pussy and it will make you forget even your oneitis name!

Good luck brother!

[nola]

(05-25-2018 10:51 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  

First off I want to make it clear that I'm pathetic for bumping this thread, but I'm literally at a loss and need some tough love.

It's been 3-4 months of no contact with this girl. In that time I have travelled, hung out with friends, and banged 5 other women. I'm now dating a cute 26 year old Polish girl who is sweet and pleasant, with long-term potential.

But I'm still a fucking wreck about the girl I started this thread about. I simply cannot get over it, and I'm sick of thinking about her 24 hours a fucking day. As mentioned in the No Contact thread, I thought I had her blocked on all social media - well, I didn't, and yesterday she had liked a picture of me on Instagram - a picture of me with a current plate. This set off a chain of torment and a sleepless night. It was either manipulation on her part, or a friendly gesture, but it killed me.

I cannot work out why I've feel so strongly about this girl, but all I can think of is when I first met her, before things went down the fucking toilet, how happy I was. There was something different; chemistry, pheromones, who the fuck knows.

Our last conversation where she broke up with me for not fighting for her hard enough rattles around in my head. I alternate between thinking she was correct, but then realising there were way too many red flags and my gut was right.

She has a new boyfriend now, of course.

I'm a total pussy. I can't even dress this up any other way. I've never had a chick affect me in this manner before, and it has fucked me up royally.

How in God's name do you get through this?

This is why you do not emotionally invest in women. But anyway that's just my opinion.

Obviously you put this girl on some sorta pedestal, could be a number of things she ranked highly in your eyes for. Who knows what that is really.

I read through this thread but something that you said in your first post really stood out to me.

"In month three I began to see some cracks. She can be needy (wanting me to text more), controlling, somewhat dismissive at times (saying she's "not interested" if we're on the phone and I begin to tell her something), never asks any real questions about my day-to-day life."

I wonder how much projection is coming from your end on this. Why do you need her to ask you about your day? also what are you sharing with her that she said she is not interested in hearing?

If this girl was truly a traditional Ukrainian then this sounds like a cultural mismatch.

I mainly date extremely traditional Orthodox Ukrainian girls. Like a lot of my past and present girlfriends actually were raised in a village and light candles to the saints weekly.

Gender roles are very well defined in the economically isolated areas of Ukraine. The average girl gets married between 21 - 25 years old.

It's not uncommon for me when dating these types of girls to be going on back to back to back to back dates. No real texting, because after the first date we are planning tomorrow and the next day.

Dating one these (very) traditional girls if she actually was or is one would be already pushing to (what are we) status with you very quickly if you tacked down the first few dates properly.

That's how it's done here unless you're dating a city girl or college girl in a major Ukrainian city that is pretending to be traditional. I think a lot of guys on here confuse traditional with feminine characteristics. Just because she likes to cook for you, wears heels and dresses does not mean she is traditional.

Also you said she speaks 5 languages and owns a business or two. That is not a traditional Ukrainian girl. In fact it's a red flag unless her father, brother or uncle is lining you up with her in that case you have a different set of red flags.

I play a type of game in Eastern Ukraine (I'm not in Kiev) not written about anywhere that I know of. I play 18th century game. I go pay my respects to the saints with them, pay for everything, and tell them (not ask them ) to buy my groceries, clean my flat, and cook. I don't really need to ask for this dynamic normally. It's expected behavior for both of us.

I don't tell them about my day; I do my work, make money and let them do their duties to win my affection to further me courting them.

Courtship when dating a real (traditional) Ukrainian girl will not fit into the normal realms of game commonly discussed on here.

While the above might sound like alpha behavior, it's not, it's normal behavior for these types of girls.

It's likely in the future if you behave like I'm describing in variations you'll unlikely face challenges like this in the future.

For the time being I'd chalk this up as a loss and the only cure unfortunately will likely be you emotionally investing in another girl.

[inostranec]

Man I can't believe what I am reading. We all had oneitis in our lives but at 39? You will get over it and when you man up, you won't even remember her face and piss on yourself for being a pussy and wasting your time thinking or writing about her. Been there, done that.
Concentrate on your life and your goals. No pussy gives the satisfaction of reaching your goals. I hope you get better soon.

[BelyyTigr]

This thread is v interesting to me. Not least because I've been in a very similar situation. Infact, a year and a half after shit went down in my case, I still look back with sadness+regret.

I can actually follow your situation a lot. You're looking to settle down, you know what you want and don't want, and have high expectations for yourself. And game has got tedious and basically illogical. You struggle with deciding where your red lines should be. Even whether you should try and give something another try.

The problem with trying to get advice on the game section of the forum is you'll basically get “game advice”. How to get more notches, treating one woman you really like as a “disease” ie Oneitis. Thats fine for an early 20s guy who doesn't want to settle down and doesn't know what he's looking for. But people change – just look at Roosh and others over a few years re settling down and game. Oneitis makes perfect sense as a definition in gaming bitches. Its not ncessarily applicable in a situation for a 30 something guy who knows exactly what he wants and has mutual interest in settling down with a particular girl. I know for me, the idea of speending lots of time with a hot bitch that doesn't have me buzzing with her personality as well, leaves me really flat. Yet 5 yrs ago I was all about the conquest, fuck and next.

I think many relats have a good and a bad side. Sometimes the balance is healthy, or unheathy or just impossible for an outsider to decide. My suspicion is you regret not being firmer with her, and feel that it let shit develop against you. Ultimately, maybe you are worrying you listened to other people's voices that shouted “next her” in your ear.

If you're looking for a solution, maybe there are different answers. Ofcourse you could retry with her. Maybe she'll say fuck off. Maybe she won't improve. Maybe you can't improve her.Maybe you did the right thing in knocking it on the head. And your problem today is you can't find what you are looking for?

I think our brains/bodies are hardwired to see the best in some things. Sometimes eg if we are competitive in careers or whatever, we think we can make a situation better over time. Its only part of the girl's character/mix that gets us buzzing and we turn a blind eye to the bad stuff. Women who's husbands batter them do exactly the same in a way. They say “its just a patch, deep down he's wonderful, he'll change... blah blah”. But the reality is that many people just won't change. And you have to accept part perfection, part hell. Or move on.

I disagree with the claim that you still being hooked by her means you are a “fag” or whatever. My girl (Russian) still leaves me feeling like shit some days. Even though I know she's now history and I've fucked quite a few (meaningless) bitches since. I only have to hear some music, see some places mentioned and I feel like I'm having some sort of nightmarish flashback. And she haunts my dreams (or rather NIGHTMARES) sometimes too. I'm into my 30s now, and in the past, only about 1 other girl out of dozens had me buzzing like that.

Basically I think you need to reprogramme your mind. You could try NLP and hypnosis. A rigourous exercise or career development programme. Concentrating on being a savvier, better version of yourself helps some people.

I'm still angry wth myself that I “lost” a battle to change a girl who was largely perfect for me, but in some ways pure poison for me. I know that finding someone with all her good attributes will be very very hard. But looking back, the main problem is that someone (her) slipped into my head via a back door. Its like a computer virus. I needed to reprogramme myself. Yes its a pain. But I can only choose the “least unfavourable option”. Because over time, it will allow me to get the best option for the future. Does that make sense?

Give me a pm if I can be of any help!